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A Statue's Plea


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8 replies to this topic

#1    ImaLoner

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM

I haven't written poetry in a very long time.  I recently wrote some haiku, so I thought I'd give poetry another try....

The pedestal you have built for me
is much too tall
I fear great heights, you see
From that elevation, I will surely fall

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken


#2    orangepeaceful79

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:28 PM

View PostImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

I haven't written poetry in a very long time.  I recently wrote some haiku, so I thought I'd give poetry another try....

The pedestal you have built for me
is much too tall
I fear great heights, you see
From that elevation, I will surely fall

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken

I like this.  well constructed.  feels calm.  I don't usually enjoy rhyming poetry, but this is nice.


#3    spartan max2

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:33 PM

View PostImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:


Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken

I really like this last part for some reason.

" I imagine that the intellegent people are the ones so intellegent that they dont even need or want to look "intellegent" anymore".
Criss Jami

#4    Professor T

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:42 PM

View PostImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
This part rocks...
Nicely done..


#5    Cobalt60

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:55 PM

thank you, that wasgreat! Apparition, I don't think that could have been said by anyone else. I don't think you've lost your 'voice', simply haven't spoken for a while.


#6    OverSword

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:57 PM

I agree with orangepeaceful, I think it really works because I can sense the honesty of emotion behind it.


#7    Cobalt60

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 06:04 PM

dang! just like that i forgot the PS i had in mind! sorry...


#8    Taun

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 06:07 PM

I thought it would have something about getting rid of pigeons...


Good poem though...


#9    Still Waters

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:40 PM

I like this :tu: You should write poetry more often.

Edited by Still Waters, 09 December 2012 - 04:41 PM.

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