The comments in this thread are in general. They are not directed towards any member of the board. All are welcome to participate.
I had an emotional day today. There were two times where I felt very strong emotions. One was a sense of seething rage. I normally would have gotten into it with my brother but I had just called my friend and I shoved it down. It went away. It surprised me. Usually when I feel that upset it is hard to get over it.
Just now my brother came back in to talk to me about it. He was sarcastic and I turned to go to say something and I just welled up with such hurt that I looked at the ceiling and felt the tears and frog in throat. Normally I would have tried to speak about it and cried. Instead I just walked out of the room. I came in my room and laid down. Then that hurtful sad devastation came over me like a wave. And instead I pushed it away. The tears dried and the choke in my throat faded.
It made me wonder. In therapy I am asked to dig deep. To let out so many emotions. And I have been told this is in some way a more healthy way to be.
But I wonder. Is it? Why are we taught that suppressing emotion is bad. In the past I would have probably lost control. And when I get like that sometimes people will go for the jugular. But then I pushed it down. There are too many emotions. It has been a very traumatic time. It got worse on top of it. And yet I feel like it's not a realistic way to live. Yet everywhere I turn I am told this is bad.
When people have tried to pull out emotions from me it doesn't get any better. When I was hospitalized I was on suicide watch. This seemed to just ebb and flow, one from the other. It made it worse and worse.
But now as I sit here I think. Suppressing emotions seems healthier. It makes it go away. Is it possible to have too much emotion? Do some of us need to learn to control emotion? Should we stop believing what the doctor's say?
Edited by Cassea, 09 December 2012 - 06:27 AM.