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Am I ever going to break out of this rut?


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#1    SereneScene

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:08 AM

I feel like im just going through the paces in life, no true ambition, no direction, no true friends, no love, I hate this feeling, I just want direction, a place to go, people to laugh with, a person to share my love with, I try to stay positive but it always feels like no progress is made, why is my life like this? I am a good person but yet I have a very lonely life, I find myself more sad than happy, will I ever break out of this? I hope so...

People say im young at 23 but I see many others at my age and they dont seem like me.


#2    Ryu

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:18 AM

The first sentence describes me too only I don't hate the feeling.
I think the trick is to stop expecting things to happen and just let things go their won way. IF you try too hard to make something happen then you just set yourself up for disappointment.

Just go about your life, if you happen to go someplace like a bookstore, maybe say "Hi" occasionally to someone who is looking at the same stuff as you..maybe say a few casual words. If there is a "connection" then great, if not then leave it be.

Things will change, only it will happens on its own accord.


#3    notoverrated

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:51 AM

get a hobby and make a dream, after you do those things im sure everything else will line up because now you have a direction.

If your not after beauty, then why are you even drawing breath?

#4    Ryu

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:54 AM

Precisely. Just do stuff and don't dwell on it. Things will happen or they won't. No biggie.


#5    SereneScene

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 AM

 notoverrated, on 12 December 2012 - 01:51 AM, said:

get a hobby and make a dream, after you do those things im sure everything else will line up because now you have a direction.

Heh @ your avatar, my #1 hobby there.

But yea I just feel like im stuck in life, I dont know if I should go to school (for what? I also tried it and now am stuck with debts), I just dont want to be stuck in a low paying job for the rest of my life.


#6    Ryu

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:06 AM

Well..if you are looking to go to college then you might want to start off by picking up some computer skills, learning spreadsheet programs and such. That is often helpful.


#7    e u n O i a

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Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:08 AM

You might have no true friends because you have no direction and ambition.

Nothing is going to come to you. You have to go out and look for things that make you happy and when you find it pursue it. Sometimes some of us realize we love money and will just do any 'ol thing.

You feeling sad is just a side effect of the lack of ambition.

Letting the sadness consume you will actually make you do a downward spiral. You feel negative so you don't want to do anything that usually makes you happy so then you stay sad. I hope that's not too confusing.

Anyways, cure yourself! Get up and go get something done. Anything. It will feel good.


#8    SereneScene

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Posted 15 December 2012 - 03:44 AM

Im not sure why its so hard for me to find something to pursue, its like im the only one that never had that dream job as a kid.


#9    C235

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Posted 15 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

 SereneScene, on 12 December 2012 - 01:08 AM, said:

I feel like im just going through the paces in life, no true ambition, no direction, no true friends, no love, I hate this feeling, I just want direction, a place to go, people to laugh with, a person to share my love with, I try to stay positive but it always feels like no progress is made, why is my life like this? I am a good person but yet I have a very lonely life, I find myself more sad than happy, will I ever break out of this? I hope so...

People say im young at 23 but I see many others at my age and they dont seem like me.

Well i'm like you. least you are not alone :cry:


#10    Hamlyn

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Posted 15 December 2012 - 05:17 PM

This isn't a psychic reading, just a note to say that I sympathize. We live in a very materialistic and hierarchical society, a very large and dehumanizing one. Call it industrial culture, late capitalism, whatever.

If you are one of the many who aren't particularly thrilled with the values and duties and rewards that predominate in that culture, you might wind up thinking you are just lazy or unmotivated in general. I doubt this is true. I would bet that you are just motivated by things that are more human in scale and spiritual in meaning.

If you feel alienated, remember that this society is very alienating. To be human in this space and time requires a struggle, a fight.

Those of us who naturally tend toward melancholy or depressed feelings face an additional challenge. Clinical depression has the power to simply obliterate your interest in things that you normally find pleasurable. I would say that seeking treatment for depression is often necessary.

But I would add that it's seldom sufficient. It seems to me that in order to survive spiritually in this world, we need help from on high, as it were. Speaking for myself, I need to ask the spiritual source to come into my heart and transform me into an instrument of its will. Only then can I begin to enter into abundant life.

I don't pretend to know what form this process might take for everybody, and I'm aware that the way I've articulated it may appear insane to some. Nonetheless, I'm convinced that some form of the experience is available to anyone who seeks it, and it has the power to resurrect those who feel dead inside.

In short, it's a sick world, and it makes us sick, but there is a spiritual cure.

Here's a footnote on ambition. In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tse says that there is no greater tragedy than ambition and no greater disaster than wanting something for oneself. He had a way of saying things that look perfectly crazy by our earthly, materialistic standards, but they were very enlightening with respect to the spiritual life.

I hope something I've written here helps someone today!

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#11    SpiritWalker7

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Posted 15 December 2012 - 05:24 PM

Well said, Hamlyn, you pretty much took the words of what I was going to say.

To the OP, perhaps you might want to try meditation? It's a very good way to relax and clear your mind of negative thoughts and worries. It also helps solve some of the issues. Just an idea.


#12    Hamlyn

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Posted 15 December 2012 - 05:40 PM

 SereneScene, on 15 December 2012 - 03:44 AM, said:

Im not sure why its so hard for me to find something to pursue, its like im the only one that never had that dream job as a kid.

Not everyone is cut out to be some kind of self-starting entrepreneur. I know I'm not. I need others around me to provide needs for me to meet. To say that what they provide me is their needs may sound a bit weird, but it's true.

This is a hard thing to admit in a culture that lionizes the self-made, enterprising individual above all others. But the truth is that I'm more of a helper than a leader, more of a mediator and diplomat than a general, and so I take many of my cues from those around me, and in a sense, I live to perceive their needs and meet them.

This is the opposite of being a self-starter, which is what all the job ads SAY they want, although once you see the place up close, you may find that they really don't want that at all. The fact that they all SAY it, however, can make me feel like a less valuable person than I really am.

I don't know if that's the case for you. My point is, it takes all kinds, but our society tends to recognize mainly one kind. It's a problem that is made easier by knowing what you're dealing with. That means knowing society and yourself, and finding where you might fit in.

There's a niche even for those who feel like misfits.

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#13    SereneScene

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Posted 17 December 2012 - 04:06 AM

 Hamlyn, on 15 December 2012 - 05:17 PM, said:

This isn't a psychic reading, just a note to say that I sympathize. We live in a very materialistic and hierarchical society, a very large and dehumanizing one. Call it industrial culture, late capitalism, whatever.

If you are one of the many who aren't particularly thrilled with the values and duties and rewards that predominate in that culture, you might wind up thinking you are just lazy or unmotivated in general. I doubt this is true. I would bet that you are just motivated by things that are more human in scale and spiritual in meaning.

If you feel alienated, remember that this society is very alienating. To be human in this space and time requires a struggle, a fight.

Those of us who naturally tend toward melancholy or depressed feelings face an additional challenge. Clinical depression has the power to simply obliterate your interest in things that you normally find pleasurable. I would say that seeking treatment for depression is often necessary.

But I would add that it's seldom sufficient. It seems to me that in order to survive spiritually in this world, we need help from on high, as it were. Speaking for myself, I need to ask the spiritual source to come into my heart and transform me into an instrument of its will. Only then can I begin to enter into abundant life.

I don't pretend to know what form this process might take for everybody, and I'm aware that the way I've articulated it may appear insane to some. Nonetheless, I'm convinced that some form of the experience is available to anyone who seeks it, and it has the power to resurrect those who feel dead inside.

In short, it's a sick world, and it makes us sick, but there is a spiritual cure.

Here's a footnote on ambition. In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tse says that there is no greater tragedy than ambition and no greater disaster than wanting something for oneself. He had a way of saying things that look perfectly crazy by our earthly, materialistic standards, but they were very enlightening with respect to the spiritual life.

I hope something I've written here helps someone today!

That second paragraph is perfect, 100% true.


#14    White Crane Feather

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Posted 17 December 2012 - 01:15 PM

 SereneScene, on 12 December 2012 - 01:08 AM, said:

I feel like im just going through the paces in life, no true ambition, no direction, no true friends, no love, I hate this feeling, I just want direction, a place to go, people to laugh with, a person to share my love with, I try to stay positive but it always feels like no progress is made, why is my life like this? I am a good person but yet I have a very lonely life, I find myself more sad than happy, will I ever break out of this? I hope so...

People say im young at 23 but I see many others at my age and they dont seem like me.
You are young. You may be suffering from some simple mild depression. You should see a doctor and mention all these feelings. I'm not one for medicating everyone, so this regiment will probably make you feel a whole lot better.

1) you should train for something. A marathon or a bike race, something that is going to get your blood and endorphins pumping. It will also create goals and put you around like minded healthy people. Yoga, martial arts etc etc. Mabey work on an instructors certificate

2) vitamin b and vitamin c supplements. Most people do not realize that they don't get enough of these things.

3) two handfulls of cashews or pumpkin sees a day. They contain another compound that helps with endorphin production

4) meditation. Learn to meditate. Work your way up to 20 minutes a day.

5) stay away from drugs and alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant.

If you do these things I can almost guarantee you will feel better and attract quality people into your life.

:D I hope that helps.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#15    SereneScene

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 03:56 AM

Thanks, I will take your advice, I am planning on some things for the future, still no career plans which bother me but eh.





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