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How do i tell my parents i'm not christian

atheist tell not christian parents

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33 replies to this topic

#1    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:33 AM

Just as i stated in the title, i am not christian, my parents dont know, but my parents get visibly upset when i say something remotely against Christianity.
(they are super christian, to the point of refusing to let any of my siblings or me eat at all unless we pray)
So telling them flat out im an atheist would certainly pose as a problem.  But, hipocrisy is getting irritating too.
If you attempt to convert me, i will pay you no mind.
is there a good way to do it that won't end in rage or argument. i get yelled at or punished for expressing not wanting to go to church as well so obviously there would be warfare (not literally)
any ideas?

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#2    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:42 AM

No good way to do it .
My uncle is devoutly catholic ,and I got yelled at all the time to put on a cross or a miraculous medal .
I just stopped mentioning anything religious in front of him .
My mom knew,and slowly grew to accept it .
Even now,I don't mention religion ifo him .

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#3    Overdueleaf

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:45 AM

Hard to say if there is a good way .. it all depends on how/what you expect your parents reaction to be. Best thing i can suggest is have them sit down and calmly tell them... that is what i did and it worked out fine. Just be respectful of their beliefs as you would want them to be respectful of yours.

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#4    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:45 AM

I didnt think there was, i just hoped,
well have a merry christmas

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#5    libstaK

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:48 AM

I feel your pain, it's sad to have to be dishonest to keep the peace.  Unfortunately, I think if you are still young enough to live under their roof you are somewhat obligated to abide by their rules (at least it seems that is how they see it).

Perhaps for the time being it would be easier to maintain a dignified silence, there is no harm in respecting tradition as they see it and it translates as respect to them (again, from their perspective).

Alternately if you are of a mind to stand your ground then do so directly.  After the family meal would be better than before, people handle things better on a full stomach and as far as the cook goes, after their efforts in the kitchen have been appreciated.

"I warn you, whoever you are, oh you who wish to probe the arcanes of nature, if you do not find within yourself that which you seek, neither shall you find it outside.
If you ignore the excellencies of your own house, how do you intend to find other excellencies?
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#6    Star of the Sea

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:48 AM

I wish I could give you a good answer but from the way you describe your parents it looks as though you may get a bad reaction and life may be more difficult than it is now. Sometimes it's easier to just tow the line.. one day you will be free to express yourself and it's sad that your parents have forced religion on you in this way. They probably want the best for you but have gone too heavily on you. Good luck and wishing you well.

Edited by Star of the Sea, 23 December 2012 - 12:49 AM.

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#7    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:54 AM

it is sad, but i wish that they would realize that morals can be learned without an entire religion being shoved them down my throat with it.
I hate it, no matter who it is, even my parents, i have to lie about myself in many ways,
I wonder, why do people disdain it when a person wants to act in accord with who they truly are.
why does it seem that some people try to kill individuality when it arises,
most people seem not to have realized yet that nobody is the same, and that everyone should be free to be themselves,
i wonder, is this the true corruption of most men, not accepting any other human that deviates from their rigid standard of "normal" and seeking to end it.
i wish that they could see the truth

Edited by CelestialStar, 23 December 2012 - 01:09 AM.

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#8    Star of the Sea

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:01 AM

 CelestialStar, on 23 December 2012 - 12:54 AM, said:

it is sad, but i wish that they would realize that morals can be learned without an entire religion being shoved them down my throat with it.

They probably haven't a clue that they have actually turned you away from Christianity.. if only parents, who over kill on religion realised this.

"Love one another as I have loved you" John 15:9-17

#9    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:13 AM

 Star of the Sea, on 23 December 2012 - 01:01 AM, said:

They probably haven't a clue that they have actually turned you away from Christianity.. if only parents, who over kill on religion realised this.
oh no no no, they didn't do it, i left on my own accord, but i want to tell them im not christian anymore, the problem is the rigid views, whenever i hint it, they get angry, so full out telling them is a problem, also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)

Edited by CelestialStar, 23 December 2012 - 01:15 AM.

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#10    ouija ouija

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:18 AM

How old are you?

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#11    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:20 AM

 ouija ouija, on 23 December 2012 - 01:18 AM, said:

How old are you?
well one could deduce my general age from my description of the problem, and my replies, but i will not directly tell you

Edited by CelestialStar, 23 December 2012 - 01:20 AM.

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#12    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:22 AM

 libstaK, on 23 December 2012 - 12:48 AM, said:

I feel your pain, it's sad to have to be dishonest to keep the peace.  Unfortunately, I think if you are still young enough to live under their roof you are somewhat obligated to abide by their rules (at least it seems that is how they see it).

Perhaps for the time being it would be easier to maintain a dignified silence, there is no harm in respecting tradition as they see it and it translates as respect to them (again, from their perspective).

Alternately if you are of a mind to stand your ground then do so directly.  After the family meal would be better than before, people handle things better on a full stomach and as far as the cook goes, after their efforts in the kitchen have been appreciated.
Ive been at "dignified silence" for 3 years, it is getting difficult without wanting to explode over it

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#13    GreenmansGod

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:25 AM

Our high Priestess has yet to tell her Catholic Mother, she is a Pagan. She is 40.  I don't know how old you are or what type of Christianity they follow.  I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion. Be careful you don't want to end up worse off than you are now. Childhood doesn't last forever  and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

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#14    Star of the Sea

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:28 AM

 CelestialStar, on 23 December 2012 - 01:13 AM, said:

oh no no no, they didn't do it, i left on my own accord, but i want to tell them im not christian anymore, the problem is the rigid views, whenever i hint it, they get angry, so full out telling them is a problem, also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)

Okay it just comes across that your parents have force fed you religion and that appears to be the problem and why you are no longer Christian. :)

Edit to add: Your last question "also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)"

Do you have a teacher whom you trust to speak to about this? Perhaps seek out someone whom you can turn to before you decide whether you are going to tell them you are no longer Christian.

Edited by Star of the Sea, 23 December 2012 - 01:36 AM.

"Love one another as I have loved you" John 15:9-17

#15    CelestialStar

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:33 AM

 Darkwind, on 23 December 2012 - 01:25 AM, said:

Our high Priestess has yet to tell her Catholic Mother, she is a Pagan. She is 40.  I don't know how old you are or what type of Christianity they follow.  I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion. Be careful you don't want to end up worse off than you are now. Childhood doesn't last forever  and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

 Darkwind, on 23 December 2012 - 01:25 AM, said:

I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion.

. Childhood doesn't last forever  and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

1.therein lies my worry, its amazing that religion can cause so much pain and tear apart families like that

2. i know it doesn't last forever, but putting up with it is painful too,

dont worry though:
they throw me out, i tell CNN, from cnn to the entire USA and more, a simple exchange.

Edited by CelestialStar, 23 December 2012 - 01:38 AM.

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