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[Merged] I am a soul in hell


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#1    markdohle

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 01:30 PM

I am a soul in hell

In a place of cold unloving I reside,
my inner being delights in hate,
love is a flame that causes me pain,
so I prefer the dark and aloneness.


I hate all who are in the light,
detesting the happiness that they have,
wishing only that they join me
in my eternal rage turned within,
they being here
giving me something to batter,
to relieve this everlasting
building of inner hate.

How I wish to have the good to torture,
those pious fools who love God and light,
whose very presence blinds and suffocates my soul,

if only there was a deeper darkness to go.

I was not sent,
I flung myself here,
my true home my refuge,
from that light that beckons me
that I can’t abide in.

I regret nothing,
repentance is not for me,
my place is here
for eternity,

Care to join me?


Edited by markdohle, 05 January 2013 - 01:31 PM.


#2    dougeaton

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 02:38 PM

Damn, I don't want to go there :cry: :no:

doug

If you must have  finale absolute answers, then become an  hard nosed atheist or a fundie of any religion, both seem to be black and white thinkers, and have only contempt for those who think differently.

#3    Mystic Crusader

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:36 PM

I think this is a topic purely for attacking athiests and glorifying christianity.  You are supposed to love your enemies.

2 Thessalonians 2:11
So God will cause them to be greatly deceived, and they will believe these lies

#4    Beany

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

Imagine the pain & suffering that soul must be in, what horrific life's events and people took them to that place where they are so separated from their sacred self. The hell is being separated from that sacred self that still resides in the dark with them and never seeing a glimmer of light or hope. Christians say that god is everywhere. If so, then god is with this person who needs it most.


#5    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:05 PM

View PostHavocWing, on 05 January 2013 - 04:36 PM, said:

I think this is a topic purely for attacking athiests and glorifying christianity.  You are supposed to love your enemies.

Mark does love what you misunderstood as his “enemies”.
I can testify, being an agnostic with pagan tendencies. Nothing but kindness came to me from author of this – usually great and thought-provoking – piece.

Rites may be different, but questions are universal for all people.
Personally, I love mark’s answers.
And hope with all my heart that he is right in his faith, and I’m wrong in my doubt.

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#6    White Crane Feather

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:21 PM

View PostHavocWing, on 05 January 2013 - 04:36 PM, said:

I think this is a topic purely for attacking athiests and glorifying christianity.  You are supposed to love your enemies.
I think it's a poam. A piece of expression. We have the militant atheist, the hard atheists, the soft atheists, now the emergence of the paranoid atheist.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#7    Mystic Crusader

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:26 PM

View PostSeeker79, on 05 January 2013 - 05:21 PM, said:

I think it's a poam. A piece of expression. We have the militant atheist, the hard atheists, the soft atheists, now the emergence of the paranoid atheist.

What?

2 Thessalonians 2:11
So God will cause them to be greatly deceived, and they will believe these lies

#8    WolvenHeart7

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:45 PM

You can imagine the desolation and pain the person must be feeling. I have felt like this before, trapped in the darkness because I wouldn't let myself let go of my pain and betrayal to pick myself up and return to the light. It is a dark, cold, and utterly isolated feeling. You can feel completely alone in it when you're surrounded by many. I wouldn't wish that misery on many..

This is a wonderful piece of writing, but I do tend to enjoy each of his pieces.. There is always something thought-provoking in them. Well done. :tu:

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#9    Jessica Christ

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:30 PM

View PostHelen of Annoy, on 05 January 2013 - 05:05 PM, said:

Mark does love what you misunderstood as his “enemies”.
I can testify, being an agnostic with pagan tendencies. Nothing but kindness came to me from author of this – usually great and thought-provoking – piece.

Rites may be different, but questions are universal for all people.
Personally, I love mark’s answers.
And hope with all my heart that he is right in his faith, and I’m wrong in my doubt.

You can have good intentions but still offend others.

I agree with your statements regarding the author but don't find it an adequate defense and your own comments also seems a bit dismissive of HavocWing's concerns, whom I share.

I also think the author at times characterizes mental illness as something that could easily be overcome if one chooses, or if one turns to God, not true. The OP is about mental illness in my view, for many actually suffering in the dark it won't help them, but what do I know, maybe it is about Mark's own experiences, but the way it comes across is an attempt to put himself in another's shoes, which requires empathy and I find none here.

It is almost as if Mark is blaming those who suffer as simply turning away from God and hating good. I don't think it works like that.

Edited by I believe you, 05 January 2013 - 09:34 PM.


#10    dougeaton

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

View PostHavocWing, on 05 January 2013 - 04:36 PM, said:

I think this is a topic purely for attacking athiests and glorifying christianity.  You are supposed to love your enemies.

I think he is trying to state an idea about hell that is based on choice pure and simple.......how you see that as attacking is beyond me.

doug

If you must have  finale absolute answers, then become an  hard nosed atheist or a fundie of any religion, both seem to be black and white thinkers, and have only contempt for those who think differently.

#11    dougeaton

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:45 PM

View PostBeany, on 05 January 2013 - 04:41 PM, said:

Imagine the pain & suffering that soul must be in, what horrific life's events and people took them to that place where they are so separated from their sacred self. The hell is being separated from that sacred self that still resides in the dark with them and never seeing a glimmer of light or hope. Christians say that god is everywhere. If so, then god is with this person who needs it most.

Re-read, it is a free choice, I would think what you are talking about may not apply, if there is a hell at all.  I don't believe in much freedom of choice myself.  If we are free, then hell is possible don't you think?

doug

If you must have  finale absolute answers, then become an  hard nosed atheist or a fundie of any religion, both seem to be black and white thinkers, and have only contempt for those who think differently.

#12    dougeaton

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:48 PM

View PostI believe you, on 05 January 2013 - 09:30 PM, said:

You can have good intentions but still offend others.

I agree with your statements regarding the author but don't find it an adequate defense and your own comments also seems a bit dismissive of HavocWing's concerns, whom I share.

I also think the author at times characterizes mental illness as something that could easily be overcome if one chooses, or if one turns to God, not true. The OP is about mental illness in my view, for many actually suffering in the dark it won't help them, but what do I know, maybe it is about Mark's own experiences, but the way it comes across is an attempt to put himself in another's shoes, which requires empathy and I find none here.

It is almost as if Mark is blaming those who suffer as simply turning away from God and hating good. I don't think it works like that.

I know Mark, he is not talking about mental illness.  He believes that god (well God for him) sees into our most inner depths, his own words and sees truth/the poem also states that it is a state that the one ends up in  does not want to change, I believe that he is coming from a place different from most on this sight.  I often do not understand him either.

doug

If you must have  finale absolute answers, then become an  hard nosed atheist or a fundie of any religion, both seem to be black and white thinkers, and have only contempt for those who think differently.

#13    Ehrman Pagels 1

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:16 PM

View Postmarkdohle, on 05 January 2013 - 01:30 PM, said:

I was not sent,
I flung myself here,


I don't think this being is mentally ill because he's making conscious choices. On the other hand, I wouldn't discount it. Even though I have background in Psychology and Human Services, I wouldn't call myself an expert on mental illness.

I think this being is badly disappointed, perhaps due to an intense love that has gone awry, and the fact that this person is a genius in disguise makes everything so heightened or extreme. Also, this devastated heart happened only recently (even though it feels like eternity and neverending), and it's the reason why this being still hates God. Then again, he or she hasn't killed anyone.

Is an intense love-gone-awry a good reason to become an atheist? Sounds like a Russian novel, doesn't it?? Just sharing.

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#14    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:33 PM

View PostI believe you, on 05 January 2013 - 09:30 PM, said:

You can have good intentions but still offend others.

I agree with your statements regarding the author but don't find it an adequate defense and your own comments also seems a bit dismissive of HavocWing's concerns, whom I share.

I also think the author at times characterizes mental illness as something that could easily be overcome if one chooses, or if one turns to God, not true. The OP is about mental illness in my view, for many actually suffering in the dark it won't help them, but what do I know, maybe it is about Mark's own experiences, but the way it comes across is an attempt to put himself in another's shoes, which requires empathy and I find none here.

It is almost as if Mark is blaming those who suffer as simply turning away from God and hating good. I don't think it works like that.

Well, I see no fault in being dismissive of something I don’t see worth serious concern.
(I’m talking about atheist concern the Christians are after them. Atheists are not after Christians either. Religion or lack of religion as part of political agendas excluded, but mark is not a politician as far as I can tell.)

I’ve understood the poem is about the Devil, not mental illness. He was not flung into the loneliness, he chose the desolation of hatred. Yet he desires souls to join him in self-inflicted refusal of light. This speaks of contradictory nature of the devil (personally, I do use term “devil” but only as a metaphor).

This poem is clearly the monologue of Satan - in my interpretation. The author will tell which one of us two was closer to what he wanted to relate.

From what mark has written and I have read so far, and that’s a lot of pieces, I’d say he’s trying to show people how turning to God can, among other, ease your spiritual and mental (yes, I see distinction between those) suffering.  
Little digression: in my opinion, it’s very complicated and simple at the same time. Simply turning to God simply does help but not if it’s not genuine. That’s where complicated part begins. End of digression.

Anyway, it didn’t occur to me that a person that believes and feels the infinite comfort of true faith could be blaming me for not experiencing the same. Pointing to the source of light, encouraging people to open their inner eyes is an act of compassion, not placing the blame. The way I see it, of course.

If you get lost in my neck of woods, I’ll gladly give you directions, but to be honest, I’d feel a little strange if you’d get angry at me and accuse me of blaming you for being lost. How can I help you if you think I’m offending you with noticing you got lost? "Hello, hiker newbie, I see you’re doing great, all orientated and not at all wide-eyed, how about you follow me to a marked path just because you are really totally in charge and on a second thought, why don't I leave you to cope on your own because that's far better than accidentally implying you might be lost..."

In short, mark is sharing his experience of his faith, I wouldn’t read any ill intention into that.

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#15    dougeaton

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:36 PM

Here is part of  his poem "The dying (a prayer)" on this forum.  I think it says something about the poem....his intention....and desire for others:



Quote

Only infinite mercy and love can understand,
I don’t for my love is slight and conditional,
my anger deep and desire for revenge present,
even if at times there is one to place it on.

Life forms us,
hate deforms others,
children abused can become monsters,
war begets more war,
our blood has perhaps become a deep river,
almost bottomless in its depth,
for hatred and desire for revenge
is insatiable,
only love can heal,
the balm is forgiveness
that only your grace
can bestow,
and in being forgiven,
in understanding what that means,
with the grace of self-knowledge,
can we forgive as well.

It is all grace.


Edited by dougeaton, 05 January 2013 - 10:37 PM.

If you must have  finale absolute answers, then become an  hard nosed atheist or a fundie of any religion, both seem to be black and white thinkers, and have only contempt for those who think differently.




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