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Spiritual jokes.


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24 replies to this topic

#16    White Crane Feather

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  • Potter: " is this real or is this in my mind?"

    Dumbledore: " Of course it's in your mind....., but that dosn't mean it's not real."

Posted 11 January 2013 - 05:46 PM

Another good one



"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#17    White Crane Feather

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  • Potter: " is this real or is this in my mind?"

    Dumbledore: " Of course it's in your mind....., but that dosn't mean it's not real."

Posted 11 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

Got to love bill




"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#18    emberdawn

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 06:14 PM

Thank you Seeker I needed a laugh. Hope everyones better soon.


#19    fullywired

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 08:03 PM

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were travelling together on a train and in the course of the journey, conversation turned to religion.,the Rabbi said to the Priest is it it true that you must be celibate to be a Priest ,Yes repled the Priest ,who then said to the Rabbi is it true that a Jew must not eat pork ,yes replied the Rabbi.the Priest then said ,tell me the truth have you ever eaten pork ,Yes said the Rabbi,I did once try it.Now you tell the truth did you ever have sex ,the Priest replied yes once I did try it
the Rabbi said "It's better than pork isn't it


fullywired

Posted Image  



"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
-------Buddha (563 - 483 BC)

#20    GreenmansGod

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:02 PM

All Hail Basement cat.



"The moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision, or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible." Salman Rushdie

#21    Hasina

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:03 PM

What did God say to the Atheist?
Nothing!
-ba-dum-tsh-


#22    Paranoid Android

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:21 PM

View PostWinter Summer, on 11 January 2013 - 02:36 PM, said:

Priest dies and goes to heaven.  Saint Pete tells him "Stay in the waiting room until called.  There's some interesting reading on the table for you. It's the original, unedited, unaltered version of the Bible."

Shortly thereafter, Saint Pete hears terrible wailing, grief, and moaning coming from the waiting room.  He rushes in to see what's the matter.

The priest is beside himself and keeps saying over and over "There's an R!"

"What are you carrying on about?" asks Saint Pete.

"This Bible", says the priest, "it says CelebRate!"
I know this is a joke so it's a bit pedantic to say, but the word "celibate" is worth two points of mention:  1- it's spelled with an "i" (celibate, not celebate), and 2- the word celibate is not anywhere found in the Bible in the first place.

Yes, I'm a spoil-sport complaining about triviality in a joke thread.

~ Regards, PA

Posted Image

My blog is now taking a new direction.  Dedicated to my father who was a great inspiration in my life, I wish to honour his memory (RIP, dad) by sharing with the world what he had always kept to himself.  More details, http://www.unexplain...showentry=27811

#23    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

The Post Office...

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.

As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"  ...



Looking for my son...

One day, Jesus was walking by the Pearly Gates, when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes.

Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach.

He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard.

"How did you spend your life on earth my son?" asked Jesus.

"I was a simple carpenter for sixty years" replied the old man.

"And what do you hope to find here in heaven" asked Jesus.

"I hope to find my son" said the man

"Well there are millions upon millions of people here, how will you find him?"

"I'll recognize him by the nail holes in his hands and feet," states the old man.

Jesus does a double take, thinks for a moment and says, "Father???"

The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?"

Posted ImageRAW Berris... Dare you enter?

If there's a heaven...I hope to hell I get there !

#24    EllJay

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Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

The dyslexic agnostic insomniac lays awake at night, wondering if there is a Dog.


.

"Opinions are like a**holes, everyone seems to have one" - Dirty Harry

"All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand... "

"I have a black belt in Feng Shui, the subtle martial art. I go home to you and move a lamp and a chair... twelve years later you lay there on the floor with broken kneecaps and destitute."

#25    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 12 January 2013 - 11:49 PM

Where is Jesus?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.

He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.

The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.

Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this?

Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"

Posted ImageRAW Berris... Dare you enter?

If there's a heaven...I hope to hell I get there !




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