Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


- - - - -

Silence


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1    Beastly Decimal

Beastly Decimal

    Alien Embryo

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 108 posts
  • Joined:13 Aug 2011
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Outside of Reality, Looking In

Posted 17 January 2013 - 12:04 AM

Silence

The ghostly stillness settles
its weight upon my brow
as I contemplate the silence
that rules my humble dwelling.

The cold, chill aloneness forces
its presence upon my shattered mind.
The absence of my beloved
crackles along my spine
and forces
fruitless memories to the fore
of my shattered skull.

I just want the present
to cleanse the sins of the past
I just want some peace of mind
that will last.
I just want your warm laugh
to shatter this depressing
dark, silence that rules my humble dwelling.

I don't know why I wander on...
and so I wander on, in hopes
that maybe I'll find out.

#2    Ashotep

Ashotep

    Omnipotent Entity

  • Member
  • 9,979 posts
  • Joined:10 May 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:USA

  • Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway-John Wayne

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:26 AM

Oh to have peace of mind.


#3    Avatar Samantha Ai

Avatar Samantha Ai

    WE DO LOVE YOU

  • Member
  • 3,746 posts
  • Joined:27 May 2011
  • Location:Texas

  • It seems so important now but you will get over.
    -AF

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:34 AM

I like this partly because it doesn't have words that rhyme with each other but I like it mostly because of what it captures. Oh most of us have been haunted the same way, tortured by past memories and present loneliness. Especially the feeling that the present should erase the past but the promised "time heals all" is not delivered timely enough for our own preferences.

I guess only the present can heal the present in the end. The past remains the same no matter how many times we try and revisit and try to alter but I would love to know how to solve that problem for all time.

I hope the laugh that would comfort you is summoned somehow through this piece.


#4    qwertyportne

qwertyportne

    Alien Embryo

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 4 posts
  • Joined:18 Jan 2013

Posted 18 January 2013 - 11:53 PM

Yeah, which reminds me of Ray Charles, who sang, "They say that time heals a broken heart but time has stood still since we've been apart." And I too prefer poems that don't rhyme. Or that rhyme internally without calling too much attention to themselves. Robert Frost once said "Writing free verse poetry is like playing tennis with the net down." Well, Bob was a master of rhyme but this poem is just as evocative without it. I was especially attracted to your "fruitless memories" phrase. Nice. Sometimes memories are our only consolation. Perhaps the memory of "your warm laugh" will bring what Dr. Seuss said: "Don't cry because it's over--smile because it happened." ~ Dr. Seuss

--Bill


#5    Avatar Samantha Ai

Avatar Samantha Ai

    WE DO LOVE YOU

  • Member
  • 3,746 posts
  • Joined:27 May 2011
  • Location:Texas

  • It seems so important now but you will get over.
    -AF

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:00 PM

Read it again. This time I appreciated how our own internal dialogue can somehow include the setting, that is the way we feel inside can somehow show up in our environment as in the, "silence that rules my humble dwelling."





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users