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Preconceived Soul


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#1    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 03:16 PM

The angels tell me, that  i will soon be born.
im the last of my friends,
to be placed in a womb, that is warm.
they are happy to live, even tho they cry and wine.
every one forgets heaven,
and is born in due time.

Will my mother love me, was i planned?
will my father leave,
and that position stay unmanned.

i love hearing the angels sing,
each soul a gift,
to every mother they bring.

not as often as they leave do souls return.
back from the world,
who had a chance to love and learn.

whats this, i hear the angels cry,
they carry a soul,
this isnt the normal reaction when we all die.

the soul does not remember here or there
heavens filled with weeping,
all the souls just sit and stare.

what happened, wasnt he born?
the angels shudder,
and they yell " Abortion!!!


My heart goes out to women who have been raped, at harm because of pregnancy, all who have aborted for the right reasons.

Edited by Armchair Educated, 14 February 2013 - 04:11 PM.

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#2    ouija ouija

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:00 PM

Critique coming up: that really isn't very nice. And the last line 'My heart etc' only seems to emphasise that you think the exact opposite! (That's how it reads, anyway).

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

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#3    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:06 PM

View Postouija ouija, on 14 February 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

Critique coming up: that really isn't very nice. And the last line 'My heart etc' only seems to emphasise that you think the exact opposite! (That's how it reads, anyway).
i think it would  horrible for the child to be born from a rape or a mother to have a baby from a rape. abortion makes me sad but that doesnt mean i dont think it shouldnt be an option. ive met people who have been born and have the mother hate the child and the child grow up tormenting and hating its self.

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#4    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:07 PM

  • its meant to be a sad poem, i apoligise if i went too far. or have upset anyone.


Edited by Armchair Educated, 14 February 2013 - 04:49 PM.

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#5    ouija ouija

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:16 PM

You've conncocted an overly(IMO), dramatic, sentimental(Victorian) scenario that just really grates on me. Sorry.

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#6    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:20 PM

View Postouija ouija, on 14 February 2013 - 04:16 PM, said:

You've conncocted an overly(IMO), dramatic, sentimental(Victorian) scenario that just really grates on me. Sorry.
im truely sorry, it was meant to be sad. i thought id challenge my self to make a sad one. i take joy in making people happy and it pains  me to see you upset. truly sorry

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#7    ouija ouija

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:29 PM

Mawkish! That's the word I was looking for. You haven't upset me, it's just that you did ask for people to comment. I'm sure others will come along and say the opposite. You must write what you want to write about, how you want to write it ....... but not everyone will like/appreciate what you do.

I believe that souls drift in and out of 'heaven' willy-nilly, covering all sorts of time scales ...... not a particularly big deal ...... there's always another opportunity to reincarnate. This is the background to how I feel about what you have written ..... I feel you have sensationalised the situation.

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#8    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:34 PM

View Postouija ouija, on 14 February 2013 - 04:29 PM, said:

Mawkish! That's the word I was looking for. You haven't upset me, it's just that you did ask for people to comment. I'm sure others will come along and say the opposite. You must write what you want to write about, how you want to write it ....... but not everyone will like/appreciate what you do.

I believe that souls drift in and out of 'heaven' willy-nilly, covering all sorts of time scales ...... not a particularly big deal ...... there's always another opportunity to reincarnate. This is the background to how I feel about what you have written ..... I feel you have sensationalised the situation.
its impossible for me to know what happens to souls and what i wrote isnt what i believe. i hope the same as you that they are reincarnated. what i wrote is just my fear, that is born out of the opposite extreme of my hope.
i respect your honest critique, altho it was mortifying to read it.  im not sure i will write any negative poems for a while.

Edited by Armchair Educated, 14 February 2013 - 04:39 PM.

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#9    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

i feel like dr Frankenstein, when hes appalled by the monster hes created

Edited by Armchair Educated, 14 February 2013 - 04:42 PM.

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#10    Still Waters

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 04:43 PM

I think it's a good poem on a very sad and delicate subject.

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#11    BNDGK

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 05:23 PM

I agree that this could be a... touchy (?) subject. I also agree with your views in that abortions are sad but in a situation where the parents would be unable to care for or love the child, then why put it into a life where it will be... unwanted? I don't agree with abortions but... it is my oppinion that perhaps it should be the choice of the parent but who's to say? Everyone is entitled to their oppinion in every situation. I choose now to look at this peice on the matter of emotion and creation, as opposed to the subject matter. I think it is wonderfully written and sensibly composed, very nice use of words to convey to the reader the emotion. Thumbs up AE! :tsu:

“Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate,
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I, Shall take the hidden paths that run,
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”

#12    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 05:27 PM

View PostBNDGK, on 14 February 2013 - 05:23 PM, said:

I agree that this could be a... touchy (?) subject. I also agree with your views in that abortions are sad but in a situation where the parents would be unable to care for or love the child, then why put it into a life where it will be... unwanted? I don't agree with abortions but... it is my oppinion that perhaps it should be the choice of the parent but who's to say? Everyone is entitled to their oppinion in every situation. I choose now to look at this peice on the matter of emotion and creation, as opposed to the subject matter. I think it is wonderfully written and sensibly composed, very nice use of words to convey to the reader the emotion. Thumbs up AE! :tsu:

thanks for your comment, its my most controversial poem yet. i understand that babys cant always be supported, i just dont want peeps to get in that situation. safe sex is important

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#13    BNDGK

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 05:33 PM

View PostArmchair Educated, on 14 February 2013 - 05:27 PM, said:

thanks for your comment, its my most controversial poem yet. i understand that babys cant always be supported, i just dont want peeps to get in that situation. safe sex is important

Dont worry about controversy, everyone has different opinions whether they chose to share them or not. The poem is well written and i really enjoy it. Safe sex is important, i completely agree.

“Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate,
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I, Shall take the hidden paths that run,
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”

#14    Knight Of Shadows

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:16 PM

as for the poem its a good and quite well expressed

however .. i believe the child of rape could be the best thing that can happens to a person
do not mistake me for saying rape is good thing :D
am just saying not all people have aportion .. the child is innocents for one
and for two .. it's not surely going to be " a hell spawn " just because he had criminal father
sometimes the child can be a saint and father be a devil in flesh
and other times it's the quite oppsite

under no condition at all i would consider the child any lesser than any other child personally
abortion or not .. that's up to the poor viciim

by the name of Allah the Gracious the Merciful
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak From the evil of that which He created
And from the evil of darkness when it settles And from the evil of the blowers in knots
And from the evil of an envier when he envies"
truthful was Allah The Most High And Great


#15    Ever Learning

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:20 PM

View PostKnight Of Shadows, on 14 February 2013 - 07:16 PM, said:

as for the poem its a good and quite well expressed

however .. i believe the child of rape could be the best thing that can happens to a person
do not mistake me for saying rape is good thing :D
am just saying not all people have aportion .. the child is innocents for one
and for two .. it's not surely going to be " a hell spawn " just because he had criminal father
sometimes the child can be a saint and father be a devil in flesh
and other times it's the quite oppsite

under no condition at all i would consider the child any lesser than any other child personally
abortion or not .. that's up to the poor viciim
i my self would keep a child from a rape and show that it was loved, i probably wouldnt tell him/her about its origins tho. but if someone cant provide this love, then maybe they shouldnt have baby.

Edited by Armchair Educated, 14 February 2013 - 07:22 PM.

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