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Read this in the voice of the batman narrator


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#1    OverSword

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:09 PM

The mods will likely lock this saying we already have a 9-11 thread, but I thought this was so damn funny that I had to post it.

from a cave in Afghanistan, nineteen hard-drinking, coke-snorting, devout Muslims enjoy lap dances before their mission to meet Allah…Using nothing more than craft knifes, they overpower cabin crew, passengers and pilots on four planes…And hangover or not, they manage to give the world’s most sophisticated air defense system the slip…Unphased by leaving their “How to Fly a Passenger Jet” guide in the car at the airport, they master the controls in no-time and score direct hits on two towers, causing THREE to collapse completely…Our masterminds even manage to overpower the odd law of physics or two… and the world watches in awe as steel-framed buildings fall symmetrically – through their own mass – at free-fall speed, for the first time in history. Despite all their dastardly cunning, they stupidly give their identity away by using explosion-proof passports, which survive the fireball undamaged and fall to the ground… only to be discovered by the incredible crime-fighting sleuths at the FBI Meanwhile down in Washington…Hani Hanjour, having previously flunked 2-man Cessna flying school, gets carried away with all the success of the day and suddenly finds incredible abilities behind the controls of a Boeing…Instead of flying straight down into the large roof area of the Pentagon, he decides to show off a little…Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video…
…Later, in the skies above Pennsylvania…So desperate to talk to loved ones before their death, some passengers use sheer willpower to connect mobile calls that otherwise would not be possible until several years later…And following a heroic attempt by some to retake control of Flight 93, it crashes into a Shankesville field leaving no trace of engines, fuselage or occupants… except for the standard issue Muslim terrorists bandana……Further south in Florida…President Bush, our brave Commander-in-Chief continues to read “My Pet Goat” to a class full of primary school children… shrugging off the obvious possibility that his life could be in imminent danger…In New York…Trade Center leaseholder Larry Silverstein blesses his own foresight in insuring the buildings against terrorist attack only six weeks previously…While back in Washington, Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz shake their heads in disbelief at their own luck in getting the ‘New Pearl Harbor’ catalyzing event they so desired to pursue their agenda of world domination…And finally, not to be disturbed too much by reports of their own deaths, at least seven of our nineteen suicide hijackers turn up alive and kicking in Lamestream media reports (DO NOT ask questions!!)(Go shopping!!)(Somewhere in the good ol’ USSA of Amerika a TSA pat-down is waiting for you) The FY 2012 National Defense Authorization Act awaits us all. Repeal the Patriot-Act TODAY! UN Agenda 21 anybody?


#2    Wordless Wanderer

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:10 PM

I read it in Batman's voice, does that count? .... and now my throat hurts

Edited by Wordless Wanderer, 27 February 2013 - 08:10 PM.

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#3    OverSword

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:13 PM

View PostWordless Wanderer, on 27 February 2013 - 08:10 PM, said:

I read it in Batman's voice, does that count? .... and now my throat hurts
I meant the narrator from the 1960's TV show.  You're probably too young WW


#4    Wordless Wanderer

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:22 PM

The Adam West's Batman?

*nananananananana BATMAN*

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#5    OverSword

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:28 PM

yep!


#6    Czero 101

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:41 PM

Holy crap... Did Babe Ruth write that garbage...? :huh:


But yeah... reading it in that voice does make it funnier... :)







Cz

"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep seated need to believe..." - Carl Sagan
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#7    Babe Ruth

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

Funny, OverSword.  It's good to be able to finally laugh about it, IMO.

Yeah, whoever dreamed up the various parts of the story you mention, whoever did the thinking for that, he did not think too hard. :no:


#8    Stundie

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 01:28 AM

The best bit which has me laughing is....

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video

There is no such thing as magic, just magicians and fools.

#9    skyeagle409

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 01:56 AM

View PostStundie, on 28 February 2013 - 01:28 AM, said:

The best bit which has me laughing is....

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video

For the record, how missile missiles protect the Pentagon from an air attack?

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#10    Stundie

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:19 AM

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 01:56 AM, said:

For the record, how missile missiles protect the Pentagon from an air attack?
What you asking me for? Ask the author...lol

There is no such thing as magic, just magicians and fools.

#11    skyeagle409

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:26 AM

View PostStundie, on 28 February 2013 - 02:19 AM, said:

What you asking me for? Ask the author...lol

Then, why did you post the followng?

Quote

...of the world’s most heavily defended building

The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world, and on Saturday, I ran into yet another person who was inside the Pentagon when American 77 struck. She also saw Rumsfeld assisting as well.

Goes to show that you depend upon the wrong people.

Edited by skyeagle409, 28 February 2013 - 02:32 AM.

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#12    Stundie

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:32 AM

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:26 AM, said:

Then, why did you post the followng?
For people who understand that I was quoting in context the statement and highlighted the bit I though was funny, which was not the part you quoted by the way...lol
HIghlighting a lack of reading comprehensions.

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:26 AM, said:

The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world,  and on Saturday, I ran into yet another person who was in the Pentagon when American 77 crashed.
Not that I ever claimed it was the most heavily defended building in the world, but ouf of curiosity, which building is it then if not the Pentagon? I'm guessing The White House and if so, is the pentagon second??

Please educate my dumb ass on the strawman you have built...lol

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#13    skyeagle409

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:33 AM

View PostStundie, on 28 February 2013 - 02:32 AM, said:

For people who understand that I was quoting in context the statement and highlighted the bit I though was funny, which was not the part you quoted by the way...lol

You posted that the Pentagon was the world's most heavily defended building in the world. Are you now denying that you posted such a message? What you had done was to post false and misleading bits of disinformation in front of everyone.

Question is: why did you post that false statement?

Edited by skyeagle409, 28 February 2013 - 02:36 AM.

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#14    Stundie

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:46 AM

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:33 AM, said:

You posted that the Pentagon was the world's most heavily defended building in the world.
No, I repeated the opening post........and highlighted the bits I thought were funny and poignant. lol

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:33 AM, said:

Are you now denying that you posted such a message?
Yes because, I copied the post, which I then reposted. lol

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:33 AM, said:

What you had done was to post false and misleading bits of disinformation in front of everyone.
Only misleading cause you don't understand context and have reading difficulites...lol

View Postskyeagle409, on 28 February 2013 - 02:33 AM, said:

Question is: why did you post that false statement?
I did not post it, the opening poster did...lol

Edited by Stundie, 28 February 2013 - 02:47 AM.

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#15    skyeagle409

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:26 AM

View PostStundie, on 28 February 2013 - 02:46 AM, said:

Yes because, I copied the post, which I then reposted. lol

What you posted was false information. The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world. To sum that up, you've  allowed yourself to be duped by another person who had no idea what he was talking about.



View PostStundie, on 28 February 2013 - 01:28 AM, said:

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……

You posted it! Proof that you've posted false and misleading information. As an experiment, take your car and conduct an 3 1/2 minute 270 degree turn and see how boring that can be.

Edited by skyeagle409, 28 February 2013 - 04:47 AM.

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