Sorry, just to make one final point - whoever said anything about causing pain? Spankings aren't supposed to hurt. They may shock a little (like slapping a wrist away from a television cord, being the example given earlier), but they aren't like a slap in the face by an angry ex, who is intending to cause you blurred vision. I once observed one of my former flatmates spank their child for doing the wrong thing. The six/seven-year old kid had been naughty, then fronted the consequences. For the next fifteen minutes, the kid cried and screamed and wailed and promised to be good and said he'd do ANYTHING to avoid the spank. And all of this before his father had even touched him. When finally it came to the act, it was three tiny whacks, to which the kid didn't cry or cause an issue.
I am absolutely convinced with 100% conviction that the child was simply afraid of the possibility of consequence, afraid that he'd done the wrong thing and now he had to deal with the consequences of his actions (perhaps even the embarrassment of being over his dad's knee with his dad's friends listening on from the room next door, though more likely the punishment in his own head was worse than what was actually going to come). There was absolutely ZERO PAIN with the actual punishment. It was all psychological.
I would argue that if a person spanks a child, and the child cries because of the pain caused, then that is abuse. Most parents who spank their kids don't do it in order to cause them to cry, though, and I'd not hesitate to argue that the child psychologists who don't see a problem with spankings think along similar lines. Spankings are not supposed to be torture. At least, they never were with me when my dad did it to me.
Just a thought,
And we should be clear what corporeal punishment actually means.
Parents can be physically intimidating within limits without causing pain. I have grabbed my five your old by the shirt before to haul him upstairs. Stared at him from across the room and got up fast with a dads look on my face. Some parents may disagree with even that, and I would listen if they have data. But so far I thought we were talking about spankings and swats, not a little pat on the rear end to get their attention. Thats not corporeal punishment. This is what I was talking up with the people in those studies that are realy in the margins if even that of any kind of physical discepline. The bottom line, and I think you agree, is that the old belt on the rear end and a solid 1-4 wacks on a bare bottom or across the cheek is out. If it is causing a hystamine reaction you are only damaging your child. I think a love tap on the diper of an out of control three year old is probably not going to cause all that much damage, but look at some of the material I posted. It has been shown that people then start to escalate even from mild acts. Our good friends here might have the control not to, but you and I both know that self control will be in the minority. Real corporeal punishment is simply not an effective or moral teaching tool, nor is it necessary for a disciplined household. ask your brother about real spanking?
Edited by Seeker79, 05 March 2013 - 02:16 PM.