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Bullied Kid Kills Himself


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#1    Ashotep

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 01:50 PM

They suspect this kid was bullied is the reason for the suicide.  This is something that needs to be addressed in all schools.  Parents need to teach their kids not to be bullying other kids.

Bullied Michigan 8th grader dead after shooting himself in school bathroom


#2    Thanato

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:01 PM

Unfortinatly many parents don't know thier children are bullies. Or they don't care. Or they them selves are bullies.

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#3    Kowalski

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:04 PM

Very sad. My heart goes out to the kid's family. So sad that people think they have to bully others to feel better about themselves.


#4    Stellar

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:07 PM

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View PostHilander, on 22 March 2013 - 01:50 PM, said:

They suspect this kid was bullied is the reason for the suicide.  This is something that needs to be addressed in all schools.  Parents need to teach their kids not to be bullying other kids.

Bullied Michigan 8th grader dead after shooting himself in school bathroom

Actually, I think a better thing to teach kids at this point is to be able to deal with it. The next most important thing, is to actually punish bullies for bullying. If the US is anything like Canada when it comes this, I believe the message itself is clear: do not bully. Kids know that. They've heard it said numerous times. The problem is --- they don't care. Repeating the message more often isn't going to change that. The reason kids don't care is because, essentially, the "system" (parents, teachers, educational facilities, etc) is all bark no bite.

That's why I think the successful approach doesn't consist of simply telling kids not to be bullies, but actively forcing them not to be. Make being a bully more unpleasant than the pleasure they get from bullying others. Simultaneously, don't pander to the victims of bullying --- instead, teach the victims to stand up for themselves. Give them the mental strength to be able to brush off the bullying, and teach them to defend themselves from the bullies.

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#5    Moon Gazer

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:23 PM

This is so sad.  I used to go out with a guy whose older brother had been badly bullied at school.  He left school, got a job and everyone thought everything was ok, but he hanged himself when he was 19yrs old and left a note saying that due to everything at school he just couldn't cope with life and felt worthless :(  So sad.


#6    Ashotep

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:24 PM

You can try to teach them to deal with it but when you have someone in your face everyday I would imagine it would be difficult to deal with.  Who knows what this kids home life was like either.

I think the bullies that tormented this kid should face some sort of punishment.  Maybe they didn't pull the trigger but their actions caused it.

Plus where did he get the gun?

View PostMoon Gazer, on 22 March 2013 - 02:23 PM, said:

This is so sad.  I used to go out with a guy whose older brother had been badly bullied at school.  He left school, got a job and everyone thought everything was ok, but he hanged himself when he was 19yrs old and left a note saying that due to everything at school he just couldn't cope with life and felt worthless :(  So sad.
I also knew someone that hung herself.

EDIT:  Her parents were the bullies.  They treated all their kids like crap.  When I was a kid I remembered when they came to visit they would scream at their kids if they even got a little dirty.

Edited by Hilander, 22 March 2013 - 02:27 PM.


#7    Render

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:29 PM

View PostStellar, on 22 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:


Simultaneously, don't pander to the victims of bullying --- instead, teach the victims to stand up for themselves. Give them the mental strength to be able to brush off the bullying, and teach them to defend themselves from the bullies.

I agree.

I very much dislike this focus on "being the victim". Now every celebrity comes out with sob story of being bullied and blablabla. It's becoming trendy to be weak. It's annoying.
Shift the focus to dealing with it and realising a bully doesn't define your life. Then they'll feel less need to bully if they realise it's losing it's effect.


#8    Ashotep

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:25 PM

I don't think its becoming trendy to being weak.  You can try to ignore them and tell yourself it doesn't matter but they may not stop with the bullying they may just take it to the next level.


#9    praetorian-legio XIII

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:28 PM

From my long ago experience, bullies bully because most of the time the bullied let themselves be bullied. If you stand your ground and fight back I believe in most cases the bully will back off. I think its better to fight and lose then to never have fought at all. And by fight I don't just mean physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Stellar said it much better in post #4,


#10    WoIverine

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:42 PM

Currently going through the bullying thing with my kid. Some other, larger kid is picking on him and a couple of his friends. We've got a meeting with the principal next week. When I was a kid, we handled things differently and bullying ended once the victim stood up forhimself or herself. However, in this day and age, if a victim does stands up tp a bully in a school situation, they're also punished. The man in me says handle this s*** the old fashioned way. However, the world has evolved into a sensitive politically correct training camp for wimps and I have to be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings.


#11    Stellar

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:51 PM

View PostHilander, on 22 March 2013 - 03:25 PM, said:

I don't think its becoming trendy to being weak.  You can try to ignore them and tell yourself it doesn't matter but they may not stop with the bullying they may just take it to the next level.

Then the victim should take it to the next level too. We need to teach kids to be able to brush off that which isn't important--- to be resilient. We have to teach them to be respectful --- thereby eliminating bullying. We also need to teach them to defend themselves --- because the world isn't a nice place and it will never be ideal.

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

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#12    Moon Gazer

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:55 PM

View PostWoIverine, on 22 March 2013 - 03:42 PM, said:

Currently going through the bullying thing with my kid. Some other, larger kid is picking on him and a couple of his friends. We've got a meeting with the principal next week. When I was a kid, we handled things differently and bullying ended once the victim stood up forhimself or herself. However, in this day and age, if a victim does stands up tp a bully in a school situation, they're also punished. The man in me says handle this s*** the old fashioned way. However, the world has evolved into a sensitive politically correct training camp for wimps and I have to be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings.

It is so difficult to deal with bullying.  We went through it a little with my lad when he was almost 6yrs.  He was complaining about a child calling him names and said he was always tripping him up, and punching and hitting him when the teachers weren't looking.  I'd tried dealing with it through the school but the kid was pretty sly and would do it when teachers were not looking.

It got to the point where Dan didn't didn't enjoy going to school and was getting upset on a morning.  So I told him that the next time the kid hurt him, he was to smack the kid right in the face, and to make it count.  Only do it once, but do it hard.  And say that if he didn't leave you alone, he would get another.  I told him that if he got in trouble to tell the teacher I told him to do it and I would deal with it.

Well Dan did smack the kid in the face (teachers didn't see so he didn't get in trouble) but it worked and the kid left him alone.  Unfortunately it meant that the bully moved on to someone else and sadly the school doesn't seem to deal with the issue.

I know some people would think what I told Dan to do was wrong, but we had tried other methods.  And I see it more as a self defense thing.  I have always told my kids that if someone attacks them, they can hit back, but never must they start a fight.


#13    Stellar

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 03:56 PM

View PostWoIverine, on 22 March 2013 - 03:42 PM, said:

Currently going through the bullying thing with my kid. Some other, larger kid is picking on him and a couple of his friends. We've got a meeting with the principal next week. When I was a kid, we handled things differently and bullying ended once the victim stood up forhimself or herself. However, in this day and age, if a victim does stands up tp a bully in a school situation, they're also punished. The man in me says handle this s*** the old fashioned way. However, the world has evolved into a sensitive politically correct training camp for wimps and I have to be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings.

And that is unfortunate. Back when I was in grade 2, there was a kid that kept pushing me around. Not nudging me... actually pushing me. He pushed me from behind at one point... I turned around, hit him in the face. He fell to the ground with a bloody nose. We both were sent to the office. The principle heard both our stories, and did not punish me nor him. Infact, after that single incident, the kid stopped pushing me. Hell, we became friends later on.

The negative reinforcement of a punch to the face (justified) taught the kid he can't simply get away with pushing people around, so he no longer did. It also stopped me from getting pushed around. More was "learnt" in that single incident than the countless times we heard the teachers say "don't be a bully" prior to that.

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

----Seraphina

#14    CrimsonKing

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 04:06 PM

View PostStellar, on 22 March 2013 - 03:51 PM, said:

Then the victim should take it to the next level too. We need to teach kids to be able to brush off that which isn't important--- to be resilient. We have to teach them to be respectful --- thereby eliminating bullying. We also need to teach them to defend themselves --- because the world isn't a nice place and it will never be ideal.

We do not always agree on things but you are spot on with this statement!Defending oneself has become looked down upon in our day and age,kids are taught to go tell a authority figure who then tells them everything is going to be ok and they will take care of the problem.All that does is make the bullies next attempt that much worse,i will never understand why defending yourself is now evil but becoming soft and telling on everyone is evolved.

"If it is not advantageous,do not move.If objectives can not be attained,do not employ the army.Unless endangered do not engage in warfare.The ruler cannot mobilize the army out of personal anger.The general can not engage in battle because of personal frustration.When it is advantageous,move;when not advantageous,stop.Anger can revert to happiness,annoyance can revert to joy,but a vanquished state cannot be revived,the dead cannot be brought back to life." Sun-Tzu

#15    supervike

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 04:06 PM

View PostStellar, on 22 March 2013 - 02:07 PM, said:

Actually, I think a better thing to teach kids at this point is to be able to deal with it. The next most important thing, is to actually punish bullies for bullying. If the US is anything like Canada when it comes this, I believe the message itself is clear: do not bully. Kids know that. They've heard it said numerous times. The problem is --- they don't care. Repeating the message more often isn't going to change that. The reason kids don't care is because, essentially, the "system" (parents, teachers, educational facilities, etc) is all bark no bite.

That's why I think the successful approach doesn't consist of simply telling kids not to be bullies, but actively forcing them not to be. Make being a bully more unpleasant than the pleasure they get from bullying others. Simultaneously, don't pander to the victims of bullying --- instead, teach the victims to stand up for themselves. Give them the mental strength to be able to brush off the bullying, and teach them to defend themselves from the bullies.


This is an excellent post.   Just as there are parents that are unaware or that their kid may be a bully, there are parents that aren't giving kids the strength to stand up, or the understanding that they are there to help.





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