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Self Destruction


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#1    Xzenox

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 06:18 AM

I realized something about myself earlier. Every time things are going really well for me and I have almost met the goals I have set out for myself I do something incredibly stupid or self destruction and all that I have worked for has gone to waste. Now why is that? Am I doing this on purpose on some subconscious level I don't understand? And for that matter let's take a look at humanity as a whole. Every good thing we have created as a society ends up turning against us and becoming something bad and abused. Why must we self destruct? Is there a code built inside us that says OH life is just to good right now we got to **** it up!

I would like to know your thoughts and views on this subject.  :hmm:


#2    pitchp

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:36 AM

it's part of growing up dude. As you get older you lose most of your friends, not by choice, but because they choose to grow up, and they settle down. And they learn from their mistakes. Growing up is a choice. It's up to you to tell yourself that you need to grow up, and take things seriously. Once you make this choice, you will eventually let go of friends who refuses to grow up. You start having new friends that are at your level. You do this because of the law of attraction. It just happens. Like minded people hang around with like minded people.. It's part of evolution, it's part of our lives to learn about your ego. Do this and you will achieve your goals. It's really up to you. There is no right or wrong when to grow up and and when to spiritually evolve. It's something that just happens. Good luck

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#3    Mabon

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 09:08 AM

Fear of success is as real a fear as the fear of failure! If we fail we can hope to achieve success but if we succeed then what do you do? Or what will others expect you to do?
The most accurate question is what do you want to do?


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#4    Ashotep

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 12:49 PM

I think some people are self destructive in their behavior or decisions no matter how old they are.  Maybe its something ingrained  in us that we can't escape.  Sometimes you have to step back and ask yourself is this what I really want or is this the right thing to do before you move forward.  If you learn from your mistakes your not likely to repeat them.  I think life is a learning process.

Humanity, governments, does seem to do some things that end up causing more problems than it fixes.  Some plans aren't well thought through or the end results aren't clearly seen in the first place.  For every action there is a equal reaction and that seems to surprise some.


#5    wolfknight

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 02:09 PM

Everything you do is a learning. Even a failure is learning.  


#6    third_eye

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 02:23 PM

learn to fail before you allow yourself the privilege of failing

you only need to get things right once, then keeping things 'right' , even 'failure' is due to right reasons rather than 'failure' itself

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#7    StarMountainKid

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 03:01 PM

I think being self-destructive is psychological in nature, probably from childhood experience. When one fails one gets sympathy either from others or from one's self. Its a comforting feeling, feeling sorry for yourself. I used to be this way.

When you succeed you're sort of on your own. Its a nice feeling too, but where is all the nice warm sympathy?

I could be wrong here, or only partially correct, but I see this in myself.

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#8    HDesiato

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 04:12 PM

View PostXzenox, on 25 March 2013 - 06:18 AM, said:

I realized something about myself earlier. Every time things are going really well for me and I have almost met the goals I have set out for myself I do something incredibly stupid or self destruction and all that I have worked for has gone to waste. Now why is that? Am I doing this on purpose on some subconscious level I don't understand? And for that matter let's take a look at humanity as a whole. Every good thing we have created as a society ends up turning against us and becoming something bad and abused. Why must we self destruct? Is there a code built inside us that says OH life is just to good right now we got to **** it up!

I would like to know your thoughts and views on this subject.  :hmm:

Self criticism can be destructive sometimes too. Don't beat yourself up.
Set reasonable, challenging goals at the level you need to be at.

Don't give up, just be patient.
I think one problem is being discouraged when I don't see immediate results.
I need to look at it from the long term perspective.

History also has great success stories.
It seems all good things are subject to corruption. Even the idea that: people are basically good.


#9    ReaperS_ParadoX

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 04:34 PM

Also not everybody peaks in there 20s, so If stuffs not going right for you dont sweat it to much

COME WITH ME. OVERWHELMING POWER AND MADNESS AWAIT

THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE AND WITH STRANGE AEONS EVEN DEATH MAY DIE

#10    J. K.

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 04:38 PM

View PostStarMountainKid, on 25 March 2013 - 03:01 PM, said:

I think being self-destructive is psychological in nature, probably from childhood experience. When one fails one gets sympathy either from others or from one's self. Its a comforting feeling, feeling sorry for yourself. I used to be this way.

When you succeed you're sort of on your own. Its a nice feeling too, but where is all the nice warm sympathy?

I could be wrong here, or only partially correct, but I see this in myself.

I would agree with your idea, but I would use "empathy" rather than "sympathy".  It was never a goal to make people feel sorry for me, but rather to see them acknowledge that something detrimental had happened to me.

And...some of us still haven't grown out of self-destructive behavior.....

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#11    Xzenox

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 10:58 PM

View PostMabon, on 25 March 2013 - 09:08 AM, said:

Fear of success is as real a fear as the fear of failure! If we fail we can hope to achieve success but if we succeed then what do you do? Or what will others expect you to do?
The most accurate question is what do you want to do?


Regards,
Mabon.

I never thought I feared succeeding before but you make a great point I'll have to do some deep thinking about that. I would love more than anything to succeed but I think maybe I am afraid of what I'll become when I do. Hence I restart the vicious cycle of self destruction all over again but If I never succeed how will I know what awaits me on the other side?


#12    Xzenox

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 11:00 PM

View PostHilander, on 25 March 2013 - 12:49 PM, said:

I think some people are self destructive in their behavior or decisions no matter how old they are.  Maybe its something ingrained  in us that we can't escape.  Sometimes you have to step back and ask yourself is this what I really want or is this the right thing to do before you move forward.  If you learn from your mistakes your not likely to repeat them.  I think life is a learning process.

Humanity, governments, does seem to do some things that end up causing more problems than it fixes.  Some plans aren't well thought through or the end results aren't clearly seen in the first place.  For every action there is a equal reaction and that seems to surprise some.

I use to be told when I was younger it was in my genes. Because my father was a no good alcoholic drunk. Who did nothing with his life and ruined all his relationship and futures. I have made similar mistakes with alcohol and ruining loving relationship in my life due to my insecurities, doubts, and always striving for something better has made me not appreciate what I already have had before it was too late. It may be ingrained in us as children by bad parenting and self doubt. I'm not sure but I know one thing where there is a will there is a way. ;)

Edited by Xzenox, 31 March 2013 - 11:01 PM.


#13    Xzenox

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 11:02 PM

View Postwolfknight, on 25 March 2013 - 02:09 PM, said:

Everything you do is a learning. Even a failure is learning.  

I believe that too but when the same mistake comes back again and again its almost a slap in the face realizing you never learned your lesson in the first place. How many times must we learn before we can succeed?

Edited by Xzenox, 31 March 2013 - 11:02 PM.


#14    Xzenox

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 11:03 PM

View Postthird_eye, on 25 March 2013 - 02:23 PM, said:

learn to fail before you allow yourself the privilege of failing

you only need to get things right once, then keeping things 'right' , even 'failure' is due to right reasons rather than 'failure' itself

I might have to disagree a little with this one because I have gotten things right before and it was too good then the self destruct bomb went off. I don't know why really but it was definitely not on a conscious level where I was aware I was doing it on purpose.

Edited by Xzenox, 31 March 2013 - 11:12 PM.


#15    Xzenox

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 11:06 PM

View PostStarMountainKid, on 25 March 2013 - 03:01 PM, said:

I think being self-destructive is psychological in nature, probably from childhood experience. When one fails one gets sympathy either from others or from one's self. Its a comforting feeling, feeling sorry for yourself. I used to be this way.

When you succeed you're sort of on your own. Its a nice feeling too, but where is all the nice warm sympathy?

I could be wrong here, or only partially correct, but I see this in myself.

You know I never thought of myself as a person who felt sorry for himself because I know theres millions of other people out there who have it way more bad than I do and they just appreciate being alive just for the sake of living. I think my problem may lay more in blaming others for your failures and emotions when really I've just recently realized you must take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness in order to achieve greatness.

View PostHDesiato, on 25 March 2013 - 04:12 PM, said:

Self criticism can be destructive sometimes too. Don't beat yourself up.
Set reasonable, challenging goals at the level you need to be at.

Don't give up, just be patient.
I think one problem is being discouraged when I don't see immediate results.
I need to look at it from the long term perspective.

History also has great success stories.
It seems all good things are subject to corruption. Even the idea that: people are basically good.

I completely agree. Thanks for sharing that.

Edited by Xzenox, 31 March 2013 - 11:12 PM.





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