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loss of a pet

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#1    bacca


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Posted 25 May 2013 - 12:12 AM

My 13 year old son's dog had to be put down a few weeks ago and my son took it very hard. He was only told that the dog died at the doctor. He wanted a frame to put a photo of the dog in so i had one made with the dogs name and years of life on it. The question that I have is that the vets office sent a letter about how sorry they are about our loss and that if we feel the dog around it is because he is here to say thank you for giving him a good home, the letter was signed by everyone that works in the office. I have not shown this letter to my son because I feel like it would be painful for him at this point. I have been planning to put it behind the photo in the frame figuring that he will find it someday. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? Is there any benefit to letting him see it now? I keep going back and forth with it so i figured someone might have an opinion...thanks for any opinions

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#2    Ashotep



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Posted 25 May 2013 - 12:27 AM

It took me a week just to stop crying after my dog died.  Maybe give it a few months so instead of being upset he can think about the dog with fond memories.

It wouldn't hurt anything if you didn't show it to him at all or just put it behind the picture like you said.

#3    WolvenHeart7


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Posted 25 May 2013 - 02:36 AM

Awhh.. I hope your son will feel better and feel happy for the memories he has spent with his cherished friend.

My family went to the pound one day, and we were all enchanted by a young white wolf that was there..
We adopted her, learning that she was to be put to sleep the next morning.
I loved that dog, we all loved her in our own ways.
Everyone in my neighborhood knew her and people would slow down with driving to ask what breed she was and exclaim about how pretty she was. She was our angel.
She had an air of love, wisdom, and grace about her.. She did not seem like an ordinary animal, not to anyone that met her.
She was extraordinary.
We would walk with her in the woods behind our house and she would just run around.
She loved the wintertime, because it was finally cold. She seemed to blend right in with it all and it was truly lovely.
I'm having a hard time writing without crying. I do miss her, but I feel so blessed to have her in my life.. everyone seemed to feel that way, in certain amounts.
I don't want to talk about how she slowly withered, because she was so knowing about it. She was always  in pain in those moments, but has always put herself aside to make sure she smiles for us. She only cared for us.

Animals are truly our hearts' companions. They may not be here anymore, but they are in our hearts..
The night after Snowball passed away, we were sitting calmly in the living room.. I don't know what we were doing, but all of a sudden, we all smelled this sweet flower-like scent drifting through the air. We all knew it was her.
I sometimes smell this same scent sometimes, when I need to hug her again, or just know that she is watching still.

Edited by AliveInDeath7, 25 May 2013 - 02:38 AM.

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#4    MysticStrummer


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Posted 25 May 2013 - 05:37 AM

I'd give it awhile before he sees that note, nice as it is. I have a couple of similar stories about old pets, and even a similar note from a vet's office, that still make me tear up after all this time.

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#5    monk 56

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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:14 AM

Sadly Bacca, for some it takes a long time to get over pet loss, i still miss my dog, picture below:-


Time will heal.

Edited by monk 56, 25 May 2013 - 08:23 AM.

#6    Jessem


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Posted 25 May 2013 - 11:37 AM

We had a beloved pet yoshi when I was younger, and he passed away due to stomache cancer in surgery. It hurts, but our mom never told us he passed away until we came home. Well we guessed it. Since he knows I agree to let him grieve, and depending on your beliefs and your sons you might show him later. Just don't hide it unless your positive you need to. But I think youll figure it out just fine :)

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#7    Dinosaur Jr

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Posted 25 May 2013 - 05:03 PM

Once there was a batch of stray puppies, all of them died, no one cared, except for one strong, tough little guy, Watching the pup run around happily, despite losing all it's family is a strange sight. I was compelled to not let this last pup die, I went close to him and sat beside him, he slept on my foot, using it as a pillow, and actually fell asleep. I didn't move, I sat there for an hour until the pup wake up again, It followed me everywhere after that, I kept thinking "Why is this little guy so happy even after even after what he's been through". I decided to keep it for a while, or rather, he didn't want to part with me..

He was always happy, liked my company. until one day, he stopped eating. It just wouldn't eat, and just look at me like "I can't eat". It sat there all alone, obviously in some kind of discomfort. The mute, sad expression on it's face made me cry my eyes out, I wished it would just tell me what it's problem was, but they don't talk.

I seeked help and the pup was cured, it was adopted by someone I knew, but died a year later for some other reason, the owner was really upset over it. I can never forget that dog, but I was happy that it was loved, unlike all it's brothers and sisters that died after birth.

#8    lightly


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Posted 31 May 2013 - 12:38 AM

I thin MysticStrummer is right... give it awhile.      

I had a kittykat for 17 years..  then my wife and i had one for 18 years...    I think it's just like with any loved one..  you never really  get over the loss, you just learn to live with it.

(man, that was pretty sad Space_Jockey..  but touching too)

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#9    Render


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Posted 31 May 2013 - 09:52 AM

I think the most important thing to do now is show compassion and let him know that you understand his grief, and you feel it too.

So i dno if you have to hide the letter, if he knows other ppl understand the severity of losing a pet it could be a consolation. Just to give him the notion that the world did stop for a second and thought about his beloved dog, instead of just pretending it's just an animal and it doesn't matter.

On the other hand, ppl grieve in their own ways and i don't know your son. So anyway, the main focus should be that you show him that you understand his sorrow and not trivialise the situation. (Which im not accusing you off,, i've personally just had a bad experience with certain people saying "it's just a cat, just an animal" after my beloved pet past away.) It can be important for grieving ppl to see others grieving because then they know their pet is being mourned, because it deserves at least that.

#10    Jello


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Posted 05 June 2013 - 05:17 PM

I knew an elderly woman who lived a few houses down from me when I was younger. She had a little dog for 17 years. After it died my mom and I found her kneeling in her garden where she buried her pooch. I remember all she could say was "my child, my only child" They defenitely become a part of the family.

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#11    Glenville86


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Posted 05 June 2013 - 07:33 PM

They are our friends through thick and thin.  Their loss is a great burden to carry but always try to remember them with a smile and how they had much love and a great life.

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