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Don't tell your children they're beautiful

beautiful looks obsession children parents

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25 replies to this topic

#1    Still Waters

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 01:40 PM

Parents who can't help but tell their children they are beautiful may actually be harming their confidence, according to women's minister Jo Swinson.

The senior Lib Dem warned mothers and fathers who repeatedly praise the looks of their child could be fuelling insecurities about their looks.

Ms Swinson says seemingly innocuous comments about the hair, looks or outfit of one of their children could be reinforcing the negative message that looks are the most important thing in life.

http://www.dailymail...s-minister.html

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#2    Yes_Man

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 01:50 PM

Or if you call them ugly then maybe later in life they will have plastic surgery...


#3    third_eye

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 01:59 PM

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they gotta make up their minds first methinks .....



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#4    Kowalski

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:05 PM

View Postthird_eye, on 28 May 2013 - 01:59 PM, said:

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they gotta make up their minds first methinks .....


Yep, that's true! :)


#5    Purplos

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:11 PM

There are degrees of everything.

Calling your daughter beautiful sometimes isn't going to give her a complex.
Calling her beautiful every five minutes and cooing over how precious and pretty and thin and lovely and wonderful may.  It's also annoying.

Embrace the impossible.

#6    Ashotep

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:17 PM

Well if you tell someone they don't look good enough it has a negative effect on the way they see themselves so I could see where this would also have an effect on them.  Give them the big head and no one can live with them.


#7    SpiritWriter

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:38 PM

Whatever I will tell my daughter shes beautiful everyday

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#8    HerNibs

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:48 PM

I told my daughter she was beautiful all the time.  Still do.  We also told/tell her that she is smart, funny, kind, etc.  

Her beauty earned/earns her enough money to put herself through school.  Studying nursing.

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#9    danielost

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:52 PM

Looks and hair maybe not too often.  But, cloths what are you supposed to say if a child ask how they look on their way to the prom or such place.


To be honest I have no kids.  But, would never tell anyone the looked good when they don't or the reverse of that.

Edited by danielost, 28 May 2013 - 02:54 PM.

I am a Mormon.  If I don't use Mormons believe, those my beliefs only.
I do not go to church haven't for thirty years.
There are other Mormons on this site. So if I have misspoken about the beliefs. I welcome their input.
I am not perfect and never will be. I do strive to be true to myself. I do my best to stay true to the Mormon faith. Thanks for caring and if you don't peace be with you.

#10    Knight Of Shadows

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 03:48 PM

a monkey is a deer in the eyes of his mother

by the name of Allah the Gracious the Merciful
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak From the evil of that which He created
And from the evil of darkness when it settles And from the evil of the blowers in knots
And from the evil of an envier when he envies"
truthful was Allah The Most High And Great


#11    Mr Right Wing

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 04:32 PM

View PostSpiritWriter, on 28 May 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

Whatever I will tell my daughter shes beautiful everyday

If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.


#12    Knight Of Shadows

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 04:42 PM

View PostGiant Killer B, on 28 May 2013 - 04:32 PM, said:

If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.
positive behavior results positive attitude
a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things
" my opinion "

by the name of Allah the Gracious the Merciful
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak From the evil of that which He created
And from the evil of darkness when it settles And from the evil of the blowers in knots
And from the evil of an envier when he envies"
truthful was Allah The Most High And Great


#13    glorybebe

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 05:03 PM

View PostKnight Of Shadows, on 28 May 2013 - 04:42 PM, said:


positive behavior results positive attitude
a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things
" my opinion "
Totally agree.  I was never told 'I love you' never mind you are beautiful.  And did it do a number on my self esteem.  I tell my daughter I live her snd she is beautiful and I have a confident, empathetic
girl.

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#14    Mr Right Wing

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 08:24 PM

View PostKnight Of Shadows, on 28 May 2013 - 04:42 PM, said:

positive behavior results positive attitude
a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things
" my opinion "

Feeding kids distorted perceptions of themselves stops them learning how to regulate their negative thoughts, feelings and perceptions. If they dont learn this before they reach seven its extremely hard to teach it later because the brain is too developed.

What usually happens is that as a teenager or adult they crack when the penny finally drops. Unable to regulate negative thoughts, feelings and perceptions they go neurotic/psychotic when the penny finally drops. This often results in suicide.

If you want your kid to do well in life then instead of over-protecting it let it learn how to deal with lifes situations.


#15    danielost

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 08:35 PM

I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other.  My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

I am a Mormon.  If I don't use Mormons believe, those my beliefs only.
I do not go to church haven't for thirty years.
There are other Mormons on this site. So if I have misspoken about the beliefs. I welcome their input.
I am not perfect and never will be. I do strive to be true to myself. I do my best to stay true to the Mormon faith. Thanks for caring and if you don't peace be with you.





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