Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


* * * * - 1 votes

Don't tell your children they're beautiful

beautiful looks obsession children parents

  • Please log in to reply
25 replies to this topic

#16    Odd Requiem

Odd Requiem

    Remote Viewer

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 558 posts
  • Joined:27 Feb 2013
  • Gender:Male

  • "All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

Posted 28 May 2013 - 08:59 PM

The world is a cold harsh place.
I see nothing wrong with giving a child a sense of confidence.
It's one thing if you're constantly telling your kid that they're perfect, gorgeous, handsome, the most beautiful person in the world.
But letting them know that they look great in their new outfit is another thing.
The world might be a better place if there was more positive reinforcement.

-I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.//

#17    Mabon

Mabon

    Psychic Spy

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,749 posts
  • Joined:08 Feb 2007
  • Gender:Female

  • Blackadder: Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?
    Baldrick: Yes, it's like goldy and bronzy only it's made out of iron.

Posted 28 May 2013 - 09:01 PM

View Postdanielost, on 28 May 2013 - 08:35 PM, said:

I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other.  My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

No one should be told this ever! I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully though you know better and if you remind them of each other then the flaws are their own not yours and never were. You will resemble both of your parents. Whether it be your looks and/or your manners, in the way all of us resemble our parents to some degree but regardless how much we may resemble them we are still our own person.

Children should be told their beautiful, and learn that beauty is not just on the outside. That their inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. They should also be hugged daily and told they are loved daily!

Mabon.

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.  ~ Emily Dickinson


#18    Ryu

Ryu

    Born to fail.

  • Member
  • 4,495 posts
  • Joined:17 Dec 2010
  • Gender:Not Selected
  • Location:Where you'll never find me

  • If not watched closely, the seed of violence can utterly consume you.

Posted 28 May 2013 - 11:59 PM

I'm a bit on the fence with this.
The thing is that most children can see through the insincerity of the words we throw at them and others every day.
Most don't really fall for it though they politely smile.
Frankly I see nothing wrong with telling them they look just fine..has more of an impact then telling them how 'beautiful' they are or how 'smart' they are.

Empty words, even though delivered with a smile, are still empty.

I suppose my outlook is 'tarnished' because I never really was told I was nice looking or anything. Didn't really receive that "confidence" stuff from my parents..guess they were too busy arguing with each other to actually give me the support and encouragement I needed.

But in the end, as Mabon said, it is far more important to tell your kids at the end of the day that you love them no matter what.


#19    SpiritWriter

SpiritWriter

  • Member
  • 4,198 posts
  • Joined:21 Jun 2012
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:in the ground

  • Hi! :-)

Posted 29 May 2013 - 01:50 AM

View PostGiant Killer B, on 28 May 2013 - 04:32 PM, said:



If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.

Why would you even quote and comment on someone telling their kid they are beautiful. Wth im sorry but thats rude... we live in two different worlds on this pls dont comment or reply to this...

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#20    Ratte

Ratte

    Astral Projection

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 676 posts
  • Joined:30 Jul 2011
  • Gender:Male

  • The slippery are very crafty.

Posted 29 May 2013 - 02:38 AM

I think there is a limit. Be realistic, but not harsh.

I always knew I wasn't a looker growing up, but I knew I had nice features; my hair, my eyes, my personality. My mom wouldn't compliment me unless she spent hours dressing up and my dads opinion was "forget looks, learn a skill. Come help me put air in these tires."

Even though dad never complimented me on my looks and was often too harsh with his punishments, I feel like he understood me better. I was no model and I didn't want to be. I was a boy, not a Barbie.

Then again, if I had followed my moms ideals there would have been much less gender confusion after my dad died. But, for the most part, I'm happy with how I turned out.

It really varies from person to person with several factors involved; wealth, political party, social standing, gender (biological and real), etc.

Posted Image

#21    shrooma

shrooma

    Government Agent

  • Banned
  • 3,985 posts
  • Joined:14 Feb 2013
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:leeds, UK.

  • Live.
    Sin.
    Die.

Posted 29 May 2013 - 02:52 AM

too bloody right, or THIS happens.....
.
http://www.dailymail...ost_read_
module

Edited by shrooma, 29 May 2013 - 03:00 AM.

"Get off your knees, the party's over."
.
-How do you sleep-
The Stone Roses.

#22    coolguy

coolguy

    Poltergeist

  • Member
  • 2,396 posts
  • Joined:06 Feb 2011
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:east islip , new york

  • Star trek rules

Posted 29 May 2013 - 04:29 AM

Tell your kids the truth  if there beautiful then tell them if there ugly tell them lol.just kidding.
I know this guy from school he was the only child his mom and dad built him up from the time he was a kid
Now he thinks he is gods greatest gift and an ego manic.


#23    third_eye

third_eye

    ¤_Ě M ă Ġ î ń Ć Ř Ī ü Ş_ ¤

  • Member
  • 12,287 posts
  • Joined:06 Nov 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Malaysia

  • - God has no religion ~ Mahatma Gandhi -

    "Legio nomen mihi est, quia multi sumus"

Posted 29 May 2013 - 06:57 AM

Posted Image


it doesn't matter what anybody looks like .... this will always make things better ...


and  reminder ....


Posted Image


it cures all ills ....



He who postpones the hour of living rightly ... is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out ... before he crosses.
Horace - Roman lyric poet & satirist 65 BC - 8 BC
~

third_eye cavern ~ bring own beer


#24    White Crane Feather

White Crane Feather

    Seeker79

  • Member
  • 12,999 posts
  • Joined:12 Jul 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:California

  • Potter: " is this real or is this in my mind?"

    Dumbledore: " Of course it's in your mind....., but that dosn't mean it's not real."

Posted 29 May 2013 - 11:57 AM

View Postdanielost, on 28 May 2013 - 08:35 PM, said:

I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other.  My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.
:(

Sometimes the negative projections of others though painful can give you strength and resolve that others may lak. Swords and armour are not honed in fields of flowers, it's the fire that tempers them.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#25    White Crane Feather

White Crane Feather

    Seeker79

  • Member
  • 12,999 posts
  • Joined:12 Jul 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:California

  • Potter: " is this real or is this in my mind?"

    Dumbledore: " Of course it's in your mind....., but that dosn't mean it's not real."

Posted 29 May 2013 - 12:10 PM

I tell my kids they are good looking, strong, and super smart amount other things. I also tell them when their being whiney, lazy, disrespectful, or Bullys to each other. I believe in telling the truth where the truth is valuable or keeping my mouth shut when it might do damage. I have never met a child that is not good looking, and I have met some very ugly gorgeous women.

My niece is very overweight. I never mention it. She is a smart kid and dosnt need me to say anything. However her weight is starting to cause her a lot of knee problems. She is only 17. I had to sit her down the last time  because not even her doctor will tell her why her knees keep going out. I told the kids to leave the room and I told her the truth in the gentilist and most matter of fact way I could muster. I did not have to mention her weight she knew what I was talking about. Now she is armed with the knowledge that her knees are going to get steadily worse if she didn't bring the weight down. There is a time when the truth is positive if handled correctly.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#26    glorybebe

glorybebe

    Omnipotent Entity

  • Member
  • 8,933 posts
  • Joined:24 Feb 2007
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Canada

Posted 03 June 2013 - 03:54 PM

View Postdanielost, on 28 May 2013 - 08:35 PM, said:

I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other.  My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

I can honestly say I hate my ex.  But, to look at my daughtet I love everything about her.  Without my ex, I wouldn't have her.  You parents blinded themselves from the miracle if you, their child.  That is their short coming, not yours.  I know words hurt more than a punch or slap, but know that they were wrong.

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!





Also tagged with beautiful, looks, obsession, children, parents

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users