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How old is "old enough"?


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#16    seeder

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 08:03 PM

Well as someone in their late 40's who just happens to look in their 30's and handsome with it, (if I may be so bold), I too have met plenty of younger women. But say from mid 20's upwards to be honest. At work Ive had younger females be flirty and stuff but have never followed up on it, as for example, Im no longer much of a clubber, and younger girls may want that from a fella and be bored with me, so for me then, its someone 'mature' in thought, but hopefully not as old as me that Id prefer!!  

If anyone reads the following links, it seems in our history, consent was OK if - in this example a female- had reached sexual maturity/puberty etc.  Of course this is only physical and doesn't consider the mental maturity

Anyway on age of consent... back in the olden days of the UK, 12 years old was old enough!

http://en.wikipedia....gland_and_Wales


and In Spain, apparently currently the age is 13
http://en.wikipedia....nsent_in_Europe

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#17    ouija ouija

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 08:19 PM

View PostParanoid Android, on 15 June 2013 - 02:23 PM, said:

Mary, mother of Jesus (13 years), married Joseph, possibly/probably as second wife (30 years).

I have never heard/seen Mary's age given before ........ where did that number come from?

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#18    White Crane Feather

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 08:47 PM

This is a socioeconomic problem not a spiritual one. In western societies a girl has opportunity at an education, and independent life, and contributions to society either economically or intellectually. It's hard for her to Persue these things when being impressionable and manipulated by older men or haveing babies. Also there is the possibility that that man will evenchually leave her and if she did not learn to fend for herself she is stuck.

In other societies the protection and economic stability of an older man can be an amazing blessing. In many countries women do not have the opertunities they have in the west and a 16 year old marrying an established  35 year old can improve her quality of life ten fold.

Like everything else it is relative. Here in the west it should be a crime for an adult to have sex with a teen. Teens are easily manipulated and should enjoy the protection of the law until they have enough experience to make those kinds of decisions for themselves.

For me personally, young women simply have nothing to offer, and I have nothing to offer them. ( if I were not maried). I have had sex at that age with Somone my own age at that time and I can remember enough that it would be completely horrible sex with what I know now.  I like women. My stage of liking girls left me in my early 20s.

Now they are just kids. I can recognize that they are attractive, but I find nothing sexy about Somone who has not a clue what to do with that sexuality. Further more I tend to care tremendously about the young people I'm around. A much older man, probably with kids, is a complete dead end for a younger woman.  Those men are not looking for companions, they are looking for playthings. I cannot respect them.

I am not opposed to mutual decision makeing. A 23 year old with a sugar daddy is non of my business. They have an arrangement and it is between them. But when we start talking about teens, I become very concerned. They have not found themselves yet, nor  do they really understand how to evaluate a potential mate and what that person can add to their lives. With the exception of a very few They are in lala land half the time.

My attitude changes a bit in parts of the world where an older man can and is willing to provide protection and a descent life  potentially even education for girl with absolutely no other prospects and at risk to fall into exploitation. Or the obvious hunter gatherer societies where a successful male offers food protection and social placement for his wife or wives.

Edited by Seeker79, 15 June 2013 - 08:48 PM.

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#19    shrooma

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 09:03 PM

View Postseeder, on 15 June 2013 - 08:03 PM, said:

Well as someone in their late 40's who just happens to look in their 30's and handsome with it,
.
you & me both brother!!
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#20    danielost

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 09:10 PM

It is only pediaphlia in the usa, western europe.  My, grandmother married her first husband when she was thirteen, don't know how old the gent was.  He isn't my grandfather.  So you see marring at thirteen was ok here in the usa one hundred years ago.  Then when mydad wanted to marry my mom at eighteen, he had to get written permission from his and her parents.  Now that age is sixteen.


As for child labor,  those countries that do it, do so to help feed their families.  China regulates how much their workers get, since the chinese government owns a ll of the businesses in the country or at least part of it.  This is why chinese parents want their one child  to be boys.

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#21    danielost

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 09:14 PM

Seeker,  that is why the population in europe is falling.  Not enough girls are having babies.  The only reason the usa's population is growing is due to immagration.

I am a Mormon.  If I don't use Mormons believe, those my beliefs only.
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#22    White Crane Feather

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 10:17 PM

View Postdanielost, on 15 June 2013 - 09:14 PM, said:

Seeker,  that is why the population in europe is falling.  Not enough girls are having babies.  The only reason the usa's population is growing is due to immagration.
An educated woman can have babies. My wife has a BA, works for a very large corporation, and we have three.

I'm not sure population decline is a bad thing. Worldwide at least, I can see how it generations to come it might play a little havock with economis, but I believe we should all be self suficent anyway.

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#23    WhyDontYouBeliEveMe

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 11:52 PM

its all about love and maturity! in the past .. ppl are matured faster then now (mentally)! thats why you see people marry between the age 12 /16 years, and are very happy!  
and now most call it 'modern society ' people live longer healthier , and maturing at an older age around 25 years  !

10 years ago is was normal to marry at the age of 21, and having kids .  
nowadays you first need to have alot of dates (''experiences;) till the age between 30 /35 years before you take that huge step to (date)marry someone, with the thought! is it the one? ! and if it doesnt work out .. you can just (date) marry someone else ! that i think is so wrong !

i think us humans today are trying to hard to find happiness , i mean you cant find happiness by building up experiences and trying out everything before you marry ! you only marry someone because you are happy and want to stay happy!  so i would say you are never to young to love, to be happy !

but i would kill someone that is 18 + and trying have sex with someone that is 13 and younger just for the experience and sex !  damn those pedo's


#24    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 12:17 AM

View PostLilly, on 15 June 2013 - 03:46 PM, said:

In 2013 I really don't think it's appropriate for adult men to be having anything to do with 13 year olds.

I'm with Lilly on this one too.....To add - There is no way in hell I would approve of my daughter ( once turned 13 ) to date a guy let alone marry, not a mission... I want my kids to enjoy their childhood as much as possible and continue being well educated.. There is so much to do for young kids in their teens... Live a little and get a chance to explore more in their lives before settling down ...I think if a young teenager settles down so soon, they could miss out in so much in their lives...

My dad would have strung me up if I had of came home and told him I had a boy friend at 15 let alone 13.. Many fathers over in my own homeland are very much protective of their young daughters...You wont find too many men approving of their young daughters getting hitched so early in life...Some hate letting go of their daughters..  it's the society in which we grew up in...  I see no sense in saying - Well they used to do this back in ancient times  OR they do this normally in such and such country..That does not mean in my own society we should think - Yea ok why not?

This girl you mention is 19 years old and you 33...Hmmm that isn't as bad as a 13 year old.. The only thing that could go wrong is, her claiming she is so very mature, but later you find you just can't keep up with her...  Over here the guys would say - "Oh yea go for it", then nick name you - Cradle snatcher lol

I was not really one for diving too deep into younger guys.. What I mean is, I only liked guys who were either 2-3 possibly 4 years at most  ( and that's stretching it ) Reason being is because, in my last work place, a lot of university students used to come and work weekends and I was lumbered with a few...I was asked out by 4 different young guys in their early 20's, and I was 29 going on 30 at the time..... The younger guys thought I was just 21 or 22 at most... When I told them I don't go for much younger guys, they didn't take it too well.. Some got mad at me...But they soon calmed down and no hard feelings...I used to feel bad..But see, I was going out with Gary at the time and couldn't do that to him.  I thought, if I were single, I don't think I would say yes to any of them..I feared what people might think of me..

Thing is PA... It is different for guys your age to date younger women, you wont get frowned upon as much as a woman would if she did the same.....  Guys would likely cheer you on and call you a lucky git.. .If a woman at 33 went out with a 19 year old guy, she wouldn't get called LUCKY, she most likely would face a bit more abuse...   Well, that's what it is like over here.. ...At 19 is not bad, at least she is an adult and old enough to vote...lol  it's all up to you, in the end it's your life..

EDIT - You asked for us to state our religion...I think you already know what my answer to that would be :D

Edited by Beckys_Mom, 16 June 2013 - 12:24 AM.

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#25    Timonthy

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 01:31 AM

Biologically, an adult is a human being or other organism that is of reproductive age (sexual maturity).
But the things we need to look at, in a human context, are biological adulthood and legal adulthood.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult :

'Biologically, an adult is a human being or other organism that is of reproductive age (sexual maturity).'

'Legally, adulthood means that one can engage in a contract.'

Now with humans, we are capable of sexual reproduction quite early. The major landmark of puberty for females is menarche, the onset of menstruation, which occurs on average between ages 12–13; for males, it is the first ejaculation, which occurs on average at age 13.
So we are sexually mature around that age, however psychologically adult development takes longer.

Yes some people mature more quickly, but we need blanket ages to protect those who are not psychologically developed enough.

Once above the age 'hurdle' - it's pretty much perfectly OK for anyone to be in a relationship - no matter the age gap (and in my opinion - no matter the sexual preference). If they are both legally an adult then they are good to go.

Edit: Bottom line: We can reproduce from a young age, but in modern society we are generally not psychologically developed enough to do so.

->Also I'm not religious at all :rofl:

Edited by Timonthy, 16 June 2013 - 01:53 AM.

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#26    Pssst

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 01:41 AM

I think someday you will realize that as we get older, our perimeter for age acceptance widens immensely and part of that is because you realize a person will always feel insert age here in an aging body.  As far as my opinion is concerned: as long as the relationship is between two consenting adults it's none of my business.  I'm Christian.

Edited by Pssst, 16 June 2013 - 01:43 AM.


#27    danielost

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 03:35 AM

The reason, europeand america wait for eightteen is it takes that six years to learn how to be an american or european, and learn basic skills to get a job.

I am a Mormon.  If I don't use Mormons believe, those my beliefs only.
I do not go to church haven't for thirty years.
There are other Mormons on this site. So if I have misspoken about the beliefs. I welcome their input.
I am not perfect and never will be. I do strive to be true to myself. I do my best to stay true to the Mormon faith. Thanks for caring and if you don't peace be with you.

#28    Paranoid Android

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 03:36 AM

For the record, guys, I have no intention of dating this woman.  It was simply an example to spark debate.  I wasn't seeking opinions as to whether I should pursue the relationship.  Sorry if I didn't make that clear, but some people seem to have answered with advice on what to do in that situation.  Thanks anyway, the replies have been informative :)

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#29    Paranoid Android

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 03:40 AM

View PostTiggs, on 15 June 2013 - 07:26 PM, said:

Presumably, 19 is legally "of age" out in Aus
The Age of Consent is actually 16 here in Australia.  You have to be 18 before marriage, but 16 is when you can begin to be sexually active.  Provided, of course, that the person is not a student under your care, or a parishioner, or that sort of thing.  I couldn't have sex with any of my 17-year old school students or else I'd be charged with abusing my authority.

Not that I'd want to have sex with a 17-year old to begin with, I'm just saying how it is

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#30    Paranoid Android

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 03:44 AM

View Postouija ouija, on 15 June 2013 - 08:19 PM, said:

I have never heard/seen Mary's age given before ........ where did that number come from?
The Bible describes her as a virgin.  That means she hasn't had sex, that means she hasn't been married.  99% of women in ancient times would be married off as soon as they had their first period, indicating that they were ready for child-bearing.  That happens around the age of 13 or 14.  Hence why Mary was almost certainly around that age when she married Joseph.  I can't recall exactly where I got the information from but Joseph had children from a previous marriage, and was therefore likely around the age of 30 when he married Mary (don't quote me on this last, I'm dredging the recesses of my memory, and I could be wrong about Joseph).

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