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President O'Bama is Irish


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#16    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 18 June 2013 - 09:43 AM

View PostLikely Guy, on 18 June 2013 - 02:04 AM, said:

Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?

A: Paddy O'Furniture.

Sorry, that's all I've got. :)

Edit: My grandmother was two generations removed from Ireland. I went there years ago. What a fantastic island!
Ha ha nice one  ...

I have a couple...

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. ....Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness..... Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first". :D

Paddy Irishman's Great inventions (or so he thinks):

A pedal powered wheelchair.
Waterproof teabags.
An underwater hair dryer.
Windscreen wipers for submarines.
Non-stick sticky tape.
An inflatable dartboard for campers.
An index for a dictionary.
Beer glasses with square bases so they don’t leave rings on the bar.
Ejector seats in helicopters.
Underground airports.
Wind-down windows on a submarine.
Unsinkable submarine.
Boomerang bullets.
Air-conditioners for motorbikes.
Anti-lock cars.
Toxic Toothpaste.
An ashtray for a motorbike.
Waterproof sponges.
Fireproof Matches.
Parachutes that open on impact.
The one-piece jigsaw puzzle.


Aint it the truth lol

Edited by Beckys_Mom, 18 June 2013 - 09:46 AM.

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#17    Tutankhaten-pasheri

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 11:58 AM

View Postspud the mackem, on 17 June 2013 - 10:36 PM, said:

Is Putin an Irish name ?...
Of course! It is simply Russian variant of Irish Poitín


#18    Taun

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 01:28 PM

Everywhere you go in the world you meet people who are part Irish...  Irish-Chinese, Irish-Cherokee, Irish-French, Anglo-Irish, Irish-German...

The Irish are a very friendly people who travelled a lot...



(Joke time)
An Irishman finds Aladins magic lamp and after rubbing it the Genie appeared
Genie: "Oh wise and great master! You may have three wishes."
Irishman: "Anything I want in the world?"
Genie: "Anything oh mericiful master! It is within my power to grant what ever you desire!"
Irishman: "Well now! For my first wish I'll have a pint of Guiness that never runs dry no matter how much I drink"
Genie: "Ummm... Okay."
Poof! A pint of Guiness appears and the Irishman takes a long drink, then watches the pint refill magically
Irishman: "Marvellous! For me other two wishes.. I'll have two more of the same!"

An Englishman (John), a Scotsman (James) and an Irishman (Sean) walk into a pub and each orders a pint of Guiness...
The pub has a problem with flies and soon one lands in each of the three mens drink..

John looks in disgust at the fly in the beer foam, pushes it away and orders another,
James shakes his head in disgust and uses a spoon to fish the fly out, then resumes drinking...
Sean grabbed the fly with his fingers, shook it violently and started yelling "Spit it out damn you! Spit it out!"

Edited by Taun, 20 June 2013 - 01:30 PM.


#19    Kowalski

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:30 PM

View PostTaun, on 20 June 2013 - 01:28 PM, said:

Everywhere you go in the world you meet people who are part Irish...  Irish-Chinese, Irish-Cherokee, Irish-French, Anglo-Irish, Irish-German...

The Irish are a very friendly people who travelled a lot...



(Joke time)
An Irishman finds Aladins magic lamp and after rubbing it the Genie appeared
Genie: "Oh wise and great master! You may have three wishes."
Irishman: "Anything I want in the world?"
Genie: "Anything oh mericiful master! It is within my power to grant what ever you desire!"
Irishman: "Well now! For my first wish I'll have a pint of Guiness that never runs dry no matter how much I drink"
Genie: "Ummm... Okay."
Poof! A pint of Guiness appears and the Irishman takes a long drink, then watches the pint refill magically
Irishman: "Marvellous! For me other two wishes.. I'll have two more of the same!"

An Englishman (John), a Scotsman (James) and an Irishman (Sean) walk into a pub and each orders a pint of Guiness...
The pub has a problem with flies and soon one lands in each of the three mens drink..

John looks in disgust at the fly in the beer foam, pushes it away and orders another,
James shakes his head in disgust and uses a spoon to fish the fly out, then resumes drinking...
Sean grabbed the fly with his fingers, shook it violently and started yelling "Spit it out damn you! Spit it out!"

:w00t:  That's hilarious.

Don't come between an Irishman and his alcohol.... :yes:


#20    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:44 PM

View PostTaun, on 20 June 2013 - 01:28 PM, said:

Everywhere you go in the world you meet people who are part Irish...  Irish-Chinese, Irish-Cherokee, Irish-French, Anglo-Irish, Irish-German...

The Irish are a very friendly people who travelled a lot...



(Joke time)
An Irishman finds Aladins magic lamp and after rubbing it the Genie appeared
Genie: "Oh wise and great master! You may have three wishes."
Irishman: "Anything I want in the world?"
Genie: "Anything oh mericiful master! It is within my power to grant what ever you desire!"
Irishman: "Well now! For my first wish I'll have a pint of Guiness that never runs dry no matter how much I drink"
Genie: "Ummm... Okay."
Poof! A pint of Guiness appears and the Irishman takes a long drink, then watches the pint refill magically
Irishman: "Marvellous! For me other two wishes.. I'll have two more of the same!"

An Englishman (John), a Scotsman (James) and an Irishman (Sean) walk into a pub and each orders a pint of Guiness...
The pub has a problem with flies and soon one lands in each of the three mens drink..

John looks in disgust at the fly in the beer foam, pushes it away and orders another,
James shakes his head in disgust and uses a spoon to fish the fly out, then resumes drinking...
Sean grabbed the fly with his fingers, shook it violently and started yelling "Spit it out damn you! Spit it out!"

The joke about the fly was funny :D

I was just thinking,  I wonder if the irish people over here, when meeting Obama and his wife, how they addressed them?  We irish are forever shortening peoples names...

I can just hear the Irish MP about the announce Obama and his wife to the stage... "It gives me great pleasure to welcome a lad all the way from America with his wife, here to give us a wee speech, so, lets give a big top of the morning welcome to - Mr Barry and Shelly Obama" :P   If I heard that, it would not surprise me  lol

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#21    spud the mackem

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 04:58 PM

2 Irish lads were fishing 5 miles off Dublin,after an hour the boat was full of fish,Murphy said to Spud,this is brilliant how can we find this place again,Spud said,we can put n X on the back of the boat,Murphy replied,thats no good we might not get the same boat next week.

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#22    Tutankhaten-pasheri

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 05:16 PM

Even Ukranians are Irish. There was a Soviet Marshall, Tim O'Shenko
Well, it is said that Celts origins are from around Black Sea...

Edited by Tutankhaten-pasheri, 20 June 2013 - 05:23 PM.





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