Every now and then, we would have misunderstandings or make mistakes and they were usually resolved quickly. However, when it comes to a mistake that I made, she didn't forgive as easily or as quickly as I forgive her, even after the fact that my mistakes would probably not be seen as something as bad as she had done. In other words, what would be seen as a poke in the bigger picture by more observant eyes are more like a stab to her. Despite that, I apologized, sympathized, felt really bad and tried to hang onto this friendship for as long as I could; but I feel her insecurities are making her cling onto grudges that affect our relationship.
Here's why. For months, she would call me at all hours of the day everyday. After I would have a long days worth of work from 9am to 6pm, she would wake me up out of my sleep at either around 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 o'clock in the morning and I never complained to her about it. I even set my clock alarm to one o'clock in the morning to chat with her to keep her awake at work (night-shift) and eventually my sleep patterns would be affected by it to the point where I'm waking up early without the alarm, even after the fact that we rarely spoke anymore.
When I told her of my scary test result, I think she still held onto her grudge from our last squabble. She didn't contact me for days after I told her...and this was only because I sent a text message. She then told me she would call in the morning to lend an ear, but instead of calling, she just text me a cold comfort message around 6 in the morning. She implied that she couldn't talk because she was "tired." Keep in mind the various hours in the morning that I had woke up for her to listen to her rant about superficial drama and things that went on in her past. Finally, she ends up calling me two days later to see how I was doing, but it felt like I was talking to a demon.
All while she is doing this, she is also benefiting from things that I had given her. I gave her money to buy tires for her car. Over the weekend, she drove here for an event and didn't tell me about it, after I was just crying on the phone two days before. I let her borrow a drawing tablet (that I need to use) that she used to create illustrations for her book, that she was supposed to return during her next visit to my city, which she did not. Reminders of me in her life, yet it seems as if she acts like I'm not even there. This could possibly be because she feels that I'm a curse to her.
I honestly feel like our connection is dead, so I sent her a text message telling her so.
I think I will leave this companionship alone. Should I just let this relationship die out completely? Will it lead to a better result?
Edited by pisceanheart, 21 June 2013 - 07:22 PM.