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A New Religion


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#31    GreenmansGod

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 07:19 PM

My guess would be trichinosis?  I have had a few run inns with pigs, turn about is fare play.

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#32    willowdreams

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 08:04 PM

late as usual in commenting :P but this sounds very close to scientology, so you need something new..

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#33    alibongo

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 12:40 AM

View Postwillowdreams, on 10 July 2013 - 08:04 PM, said:

late as usual in commenting :P but this sounds very close to scientology, so you need something new..
I know, that is why I need something spooky, like a crystal skull, or weird writing, or an ancient stone circle. Or even that strange Grecian clockwork thing recovered from the Med.Once I have the ancient relic, I can bring in the mystic ****, and get it all started. I'm thinking like rebirth, so you get to bang all the chicks you didn't think you could when you were younger.Gotta be money in it.Just as start up. Once the religion is rolling, then I'll get more serious about it.All this redemption and sin nonsense, the punters will lap it up.

Edited by alibongo, 12 July 2013 - 12:43 AM.


#34    willowdreams

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 12:57 AM

View Postalibongo, on 12 July 2013 - 12:40 AM, said:

I know, that is why I need something spooky, like a crystal skull, or weird writing, or an ancient stone circle. Or even that strange Grecian clockwork thing recovered from the Med.Once I have the ancient relic, I can bring in the mystic ****, and get it all started. I'm thinking like rebirth, so you get to bang all the chicks you didn't think you could when you were younger.Gotta be money in it.Just as start up. Once the religion is rolling, then I'll get more serious about it.All this redemption and sin nonsense, the punters will lap it up.

wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.

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#35    willowdreams

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 12:59 AM

View Postwillowdreams, on 12 July 2013 - 12:57 AM, said:

wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.

remember, freedom to create a religion does not take out the damage that can be done, but that is up to you, if your inner morals and  honor means anything if pple actually believe your stuff and end up going to far with it.

simpler is better. less damage that way, since in the end, religion is after all.. a cult.

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#36    Arbenol

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 01:17 AM

View PostDarkwind, on 10 July 2013 - 02:11 PM, said:

Let make bacon the holy sacrament.  Blessings of the bacon all around.

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 10 July 2013 - 02:25 PM, said:

I say lets make - Chocolate our holy sacrament...

Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.


#37    willowdreams

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 05:26 AM

View PostArbenol68, on 12 July 2013 - 01:17 AM, said:

Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.

i say you need a religion that honors something that used to be condemned.. i normally would say a cat, but cats got their revenge.. when they killed off as many as they could for witchery, not enough mice got eaten.. so the plague came round.

so not the cat.

carbonated beverages? well i would say kool aid but alas, jim jones messed that up..
howsabout masks, all pple must wear masks, they make them.. to describe their 'inner spirit'... hrmmm well maybe not that..

well, mud.

Everyone needs to be naked as much as possible. Rejoice in mud.. rejoice.. from dust to dust.. add a bit of water.. and grow some people!


my son said wylie coyote is the symbol of mud.. something bout him saying his name is mud.. hrmm.. don't remember that one.

but my daughter said there is a song out there called 'my name is mud', I am not sure how right she is either.. i prefer the song about salty balls myself.

your religion needs a song.

aahhhh she sent me the lyrics

"My Name Is Mud"

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-b**** you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsab**** that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat b****** could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud



http://www.azlyrics....ynameismud.html



Edited by willowdreams, 12 July 2013 - 05:30 AM.

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#38    alibongo

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:37 AM

View Postwillowdreams, on 12 July 2013 - 12:57 AM, said:

wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.
I know I have to be careful, there are people who are too gullible and take things too much to heart. It has to be something that, above all, does no harm, but brings some joy (actually that would probably be a first for a religion).And no holy wars about chocolate vs. bacon. Both are good, in their own way. Maybe the pig is the answer. The pig gives us everything we need in life- bacon sandwiches,pork,crackling,ham, gammon, trotters, suckling pig, hog roast, ham and pea soup, eggs and bacon, smoky bacon, crispy bacon, bacon, bacon, and bacon. Plus it is reviled by all other religions. This could be it! The mysterious power of the pig, finally revealed! Man CAN live by pig alone.

Edited by alibongo, 12 July 2013 - 08:44 AM.


#39    Beany

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 04:12 PM

View PostFrank Merton, on 10 July 2013 - 11:24 AM, said:

Religions should be respected and honored; scams should be denounced and the perpetrators put in jail.  So what do you do if something is both a religion and a scam?
Or a scam labeled religion. The difference being, of course, tax-exempt status.


#40    markdohle

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 04:29 PM

View Postalibongo, on 10 July 2013 - 09:45 AM, said:

I am seriously thinking of starting a new religion. Obviously, it will involve costs, and I aim to cover those and perhaps make a bit as well (I need the money to be honest)..
It will need to be popular enough so I can claim charitable status for tax reasons.
I am thinking along the lines of: all humans are weak and vulnerable (most people think that in moments of doubt),but you can meet lost loved ones, and even meet new people to love, if you subscribe to it.The religion will unlock hidden talents you did not know you possess.
I am thinking of gradually more expense involved as you progress, but I also need subscribers to feel they are benefiting spiritually from my new religion.
I am thinking: the discovery of a previously lost ancient artefact which has mysterious, but potent, forces which can only be unlocked through study and expense
I think this is an ideal forum to ask for ideas.  I know the usual original sinners and redemption ideas are popular, but I want this religion to really get people's imagination and enthusiasm.
What do you think are the requirements for a new religion to really take off?

Hasn't Hubbard already done that?  Much of religion is a con game, that is why you need a deep spirituality to stay in a religious path and still grow.

peace
mark


#41    GreenmansGod

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 05:58 PM

View PostFrank Merton, on 10 July 2013 - 11:24 AM, said:

Religions should be respected and honored; scams should be denounced and the perpetrators put in jail.  So what do you do if something is both a religion and a scam?

This is good question. We could do a whole topic on what is scam and what is religion.

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#42    Jesus Loves Us

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 10:41 PM




#43    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 11:18 PM

View PostArbenol68, on 12 July 2013 - 01:17 AM, said:

Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.

Ha ha nice one

No wait...

Bacon and chocolate don't mix.. <_<  I am making it an abomination ...Whoever eats bacon in the same way they would chocolate, or both together, is an abomination before the goddess..May the chocolate stains be forever on their faces  lol

I will be a goddess who will demand sacrifices... Each month, ( conveniently)  I will gladly accept any home made chocolate fudge cake, those who do not comply will be sent to chocolate hell, where they will be made suffer eating chocolate that has passed it's sell by date for eternity !!!


Ohh dear, it just gets more ridiculous as it goes  lol :P

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#44    GreenmansGod

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 11:26 PM

It is war then.

http://en.wikipedia....e-covered_bacon

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#45    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 11:41 PM

View PostDarkwind, on 12 July 2013 - 11:26 PM, said:



OH....MY........WORD... How dare you post up such blasphemous text... :o .    Well, you will spend eternity eating chocolate that has passed it's sell by date...I could sentence you to - > http://en.wikipedia....th_by_Chocolate  lol

If you want to be saved, I suggest you enter our chocolate confession box and repent... Say 10 hail fudges, and never commit this sin again...

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