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My date with a Christian


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#1    scowl

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:47 PM

I'm one of those atheists that are moral, kind and considerate. What would happen if I went out with a woman who isn't just a nominal Christian but a hardcore Bible teacher and believes everyone needs Jesus?

She was surprised by my generosity and "good character" and almost everything about me. We're both runners and she told me she needed to lose some weight for the marathon in October. Since we live pretty close to each other, I suggested we go on some runs together and that she'll get rid of that weight in no time. Are I nice? Remember that thought.

I found that unlike Jewish women I've gone out with, she wouldn't even consider discussing alternate interpretations of anything in the Bible. For example I brought up 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, a verse which I hate because it pretty much says that women should keep their mouths shut in church and ask their husbands after church if their little heads didn't get something.

She claimed that the "original Hebrew" didn't specify gender so it's not against women. I thought that since Corinth is a Greek city that Paul had written this in Koine Greek but I wasn't sure so I didn't bring that up. I think Wikipedia says I'm right. I also couldn't find anything that claimed 1 Corinthians 14:34 wasn't gender-specific although I have found some sites that try to minimize the anti-women tone of the many other places in the Bible (Ephesians, Collosians, Titus, 1 Timothy, 1 Peter) that require Christian women to submit to their husbands. I think they all fail.

Anyway, she was so impressed with me that she posted this on her Facebook page:

"Interesting date with an atheist, I didn't even burst into flames and he will help me move. I really had fun. We both agreed to be friends as long as both of us don't convert each other, oh and he is so honest, I would look hotter when I lose weight. Most honest fun with a guy in a long time. You rock <my name>, lol."

Can you guess what happened next? Two hours later I got a text from her: "We shouldn't be friends. You were rude to offer to help me lose weight." WTF?

I'm guessing that her hardcore Christian friends on Facebook were horrified by her positive statements about an atheist and they quickly convinced her that I'm actually an awful man.


#2    PlanB

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:53 PM

Christian or not, if she's that easily influenced by her friends, I say you're better off without her.


#3    kannin

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:55 PM

indeed


#4    _Only

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:59 PM

Well, that's an unfounded conclusion you jumped to, based on predisposition of a type of religious 'ethnicity'.

Seeing as how she mentioned you telling her she'd be better in losing weight to everyone, then a bit later messages you back, mentioning the weight again, that would be my better guess as to the seemingly sudden change in heart.

It looks like you were centering your whole experience on how she was a 'Christian' the entire time, and were ready to fulfill your predispositions at a moment's notice. You found an outlet, but there isn't enough evidence to support it. Given that, I don't think this really belongs here in the religious discussion thread, but my personal opinion is worth its weight in air.

That was a big leap of faith in the last sentence.

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#5    Norbert the Incredible

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:00 PM

Did you and she know that it was going to be a christian/atheist debate beforehand? If one was to suddenly bring up 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 over the dinner table, then perhaps one might be excused for thinking " :-/ ".

Edited by Colonel Rhuairidh, 29 July 2013 - 07:00 PM.

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#6    Ogbin

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:27 PM

LOL, first date and you basicly told her she was fat by telling here you would help her lose weight and now assume it was here friends that talked her out of being your friend. Get real. Maybe you should be more carefull with what you say to a woman, especially on a first date.


#7    kannin

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:33 PM

View PostOgbin, on 29 July 2013 - 07:27 PM, said:

LOL, first date and you basicly told her she was fat by telling here you would help her lose weight and now assume it was here friends that talked her out of being your friend. Get real. Maybe you should be more carefull with what you say to a woman, especially on a first date.
you dont need to jump down his throat, it could have been anything, maybe shes bipolar

has she talked to you since scowl?


#8    Odd Requiem

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:35 PM

You may be honest, but you're lacking in the couth department, sir.

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#9    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:38 PM

Go on tell the truth, you told her gluttony was a deadly sin, and she needs to shed a few pounds  lol :P

Post this song to win her back....I wonder if you thought this song  was romantic on your first date...




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#10    kannin

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 07:39 PM

she stated she wanted to lose weight and he indugled in the conversation i dont think he was being rude at all, he was smooth and offered to spend more time with her while staying focused one what she stated she wanted, good play scowl, plus when she lost the weight she would have be very thankful and look like a dime, smooth indeed

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 29 July 2013 - 07:38 PM, said:

Go on tell the truth, you told her gluttony was a deadly sin, and she needs to shed a few pounds  lol :P

Post this song to win her back....I wonder if you thought this song  was romantic on your first date...




I kid on all of the above... :P
lol bm your amazing


#11    Odd Requiem

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:08 PM

Does anybody really want to hear "you'll definitely look better after you lose weight!"
I applaud his honesty, but there's better ways of doing things.
Just my personal observation.

But to get back on topic, I'm not seeing how her religion played a part in her not wanting to be friends anymore. It's all hearsay. For all we know, it could have been a Jewish friend telling her he's a jerk for telling her to lose weight. There's a whole lot of assuming going on.

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#12    kannin

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:10 PM

View PostOdd Requiem, on 29 July 2013 - 08:08 PM, said:

Does anybody really want to hear "you'll definitely look better after you lose weight!"
I applaud his honesty, but there's better ways of doing things.
Just my personal observation.

But to get back on topic, I'm not seeing how her religion played a part in her not wanting to be friends anymore. It's all hearsay. For all we know, it could have been a Jewish friend telling her he's a jerk for telling her to lose weight. There's a whole lot of assuming going on.
when people have trainers thats all they say, isnt the goel of said activity to look better in then, so i guess everyone thats training to lose weight is being rude to them selves


#13    Lava_Lady

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:25 PM

View Postscowl, on 29 July 2013 - 06:47 PM, said:

I'm one of those atheists that are moral, kind and considerate. What would happen if I went out with a woman who isn't just a nominal Christian but a hardcore Bible teacher and believes everyone needs Jesus?

She was surprised by my generosity and "good character" and almost everything about me. We're both runners and she told me she needed to lose some weight for the marathon in October. Since we live pretty close to each other, I suggested we go on some runs together and that she'll get rid of that weight in no time. Are I nice? Remember that thought.

I found that unlike Jewish women I've gone out with, she wouldn't even consider discussing alternate interpretations of anything in the Bible. For example I brought up 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, a verse which I hate because it pretty much says that women should keep their mouths shut in church and ask their husbands after church if their little heads didn't get something.

She claimed that the "original Hebrew" didn't specify gender so it's not against women. I thought that since Corinth is a Greek city that Paul had written this in Koine Greek but I wasn't sure so I didn't bring that up. I think Wikipedia says I'm right. I also couldn't find anything that claimed 1 Corinthians 14:34 wasn't gender-specific although I have found some sites that try to minimize the anti-women tone of the many other places in the Bible (Ephesians, Collosians, Titus, 1 Timothy, 1 Peter) that require Christian women to submit to their husbands. I think they all fail.

Anyway, she was so impressed with me that she posted this on her Facebook page:

"Interesting date with an atheist, I didn't even burst into flames and he will help me move. I really had fun. We both agreed to be friends as long as both of us don't convert each other, oh and he is so honest, I would look hotter when I lose weight. Most honest fun with a guy in a long time. You rock <my name>, lol."

Can you guess what happened next? Two hours later I got a text from her: "We shouldn't be friends. You were rude to offer to help me lose weight." WTF?

I'm guessing that her hardcore Christian friends on Facebook were horrified by her positive statements about an atheist and they quickly convinced her that I'm actually an awful man.


I'm thinking you are correct, her friends did point out what you said as "rude".  I don't think it has anything at all to do with being a christian though.

It's common sense, actually, let me break it down for you:

"you would look 'hotter' if you lost weight" (don't know if you actually said this but let's use it as an example) = You're not good enough.  You need to change to be good enough.  I'm going to change you.

Doesn't mean that is exactly what you meant to say either.  It's just an interpretation of what her friends heard and told her.  If you did say it, just to let you know, it is, indeed, very rude even if unintended to be so.

If you didn't say ANYTHING remotely close to that then just be glad you're not friends anymore as she would be misunderstanding a lot of what you say.

So, some advice;  date only women that ALREADY fall into your category of "Hot".  That way you don't have to put any effort into changing their physical being or be cautious of what you say.

Also, don't date anyone that puts all their personal information on facebook.

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#14    Lava_Lady

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:30 PM

View Postkannin, on 29 July 2013 - 08:10 PM, said:

when people have trainers thats all they say, isnt the goel of said activity to look better in then, so i guess everyone thats training to lose weight is being rude to them selves

Keep in mind, one PAYS a physical trainer to help motivate; you should never be so callous with a potential love interest.

If she didn't look good enough in the first place, WHY go out with her????  Just find one that's ALREADY in the physical condition you prefer.

SHE doesn't need to improve herself for anyone but HERSELF, and doesn't need someone telling her so.
HE shouldn't have to exert energy to improving another person just to make her "better" for him.

Like OddRequiem said, we don't know the whole story.  We have one side.  Best not to jump into any conclusions... ;)

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."  - F. Scott Fitzgerald


#15    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:31 PM

View PostLava_Lady, on 29 July 2013 - 08:25 PM, said:

I'm thinking you are correct, her friends did point out what you said as "rude".  I don't think it has anything at all to do with being a christian though.

This ^

And...

Quote

     Also, don't date anyone that puts all their personal information on facebook.         

This ^

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