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What is 'normal', anyway?

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#16    StarMountainKid

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 03:14 AM

FreeMeFromReality said:

I'm not normal enough for everyone

I like that. I spent my childhood alone. Alone inside, that is. Although I had friends, I always felt separate from them somehow. I suppose I've spent my life feeling this way, although in a modified manner as an adult.

So, I have been considered "not normal" by people. I liked that. It satisfied me that I was not like "them". I was even admired for my "different-ness". Sort of like a celebrity almost, or maybe as an ornament. Having been a musician in bands I think fitted my ego-of-difference, as back in the day rock and roll musicians were considered as somebody, and being different was expected.

I may have not shown others respect unless I thought they deserved it. I just didn't put up with people's crap. Later, I learned to have some sympathy for others, as we are all somewhat lost in this Reality. Even me.

I'm not judgmental any more. I allow people to be themselves now, and just observe them with some kindness. I think this is the best way to deal with others. When I allow people to be themselves without contention, pretty soon they see there's no conflict with me, and the mellow out somewhat.

Some kind of "normality" is not important in us. I think if we can embrace each others differences without judgement or conflict in ourselves we sort of naturally come to some mutual understanding without effort.

Sorry this is long. If you read some of my blog entries, you'd see how "not-normal" I am, or rather imaginative. Maybe "imaginative" is a better word for those who are not normal enough for everyone.

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#17    FreeMeFromReality

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 03:22 AM

View PostBeany, on 01 August 2013 - 02:36 AM, said:

"At 16 I doubt you have the same understanding that you will 10 years from now."

"And why should anyone accord you any kind of respect or acceptance when you're not willing to do the same?"

"And to always exhibit good manners, especially to their elders; as they have a lot to teach us, if we have the courtesy to listen."


At 16, I'm a lot smarter and wiser than you'd thing.  I'm not big-headed, I know my faults and my flaws, but I know that I'm smart.  Not book-smart, obvious, due to the lack of education I recieved, but I'm smart in the sense of knowing whether to stand for this, or that, that, or this.  I don't think it's going to change, and I don't think the things I believe are wrong.  Other people, adults, elders and teens, that know my views often agree with me.

I give acceptance and respect to anyone that deserves it.  I don't hurt anyone, I don't push what I believe on people and I don't say anything against how people live their lives- as long as they're not hurting anyone in the process.  I stay up all night long sometimes, talking people I don't know out of suicide.  I'm a therapist to friends and family.  I work hard to get the grades I do in school- I get As and Bs in highschool, after never having education previous.  I believe that I deserve respect.  I don't demand it, I just wish I had it so that I could be me.  I've done a lot to earn it.

The elders in my life aren't wise.  They're mean, twisted people.  Pedophiles, alcoholics and abusers.  They take advantage of everyone and believe that because they've lived longer, they deserve an easy rest-of-their-ride through life.  They don't.  If they're not kind, if they're mean, and they don't have a mental problem to cause that, they don't deserve any respect.
I've met one 'elder', and she was my psychology teacher.  She and my Industrial Tech teacher are the only two 'elders' I've ever met that truly did care about the wellfair of chilren.  They didn't earn my respect because they pushed religion on their students.  To each his own, don't push everything on everyone else.

This wasn't a discussion on my views on respect, but I guess it's become one.  I want to know who earns YOUR respect, I want to know what different means to YOU.  I have my views and opinions, I have my voice.  I'll stand by what I believe for as long as I live; this is never going to change.  If I haven't earned respect, I won't demand it, but I've earned it.  At least from my family, but they won't respect me because my views are different?
When I can be me, and be respected and accepted despite the fact that I'm not the average person, maybe then my views will change.  Alas, for now, here I am.


#18    Ratte

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 04:31 AM

View PostFreeMeFromReality, on 01 August 2013 - 03:22 AM, said:

The elders in my life aren't wise.  They're mean, twisted people.  

I understand this far more than I would like to.

Though I'm fortunate enough to have one positive elder in my life, the ones who 'raised' me were negligent at best.

Normal is relative in my opinion.

I have hang-ups about things that some, or even most, people find normal. I am nearly alone in my feeling that pregnancy and childbirth are disgusting, but it's irrelevant. It doesn't matter in our species' survival if I do not reproduce. There are others who will have two or seven in my place.

If others perception of normal is what society deems acceptable for how I was born, that I must follow a certain path based on my sexual organs, my country of origin and my parents beliefs, then I want no part of it.

I am not ashamed to be abnormal. Certain social constructs just don't appeal to me. That's all.

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#19    FreeMeFromReality

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 06:50 PM

View PostRatte, on 01 August 2013 - 04:31 AM, said:

I understand this far more than I would like to.

Though I'm fortunate enough to have one positive elder in my life, the ones who 'raised' me were negligent at best.

Normal is relative in my opinion.

I have hang-ups about things that some, or even most, people find normal. I am nearly alone in my feeling that pregnancy and childbirth are disgusting, but it's irrelevant. It doesn't matter in our species' survival if I do not reproduce. There are others who will have two or seven in my place.

If others perception of normal is what society deems acceptable for how I was born, that I must follow a certain path based on my sexual organs, my country of origin and my parents beliefs, then I want no part of it.

I am not ashamed to be abnormal. Certain social constructs just don't appeal to me. That's all.

Yes to everything you said here.  Just yes.
I've known a lot of people disgusted by childbirth, and it's always a shock to me at first (my mother has been showing me childbirth videos since I was 5 or 6), but everyone just isn't into everything.  The world is populated enough without adding more children; don't let anyone pressure you.


#20    Big Bad Voodoo

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 02:28 PM

Judging on your post you are normal. Perhaps insecure. But 100% normal.

Edited by the L, 02 August 2013 - 02:28 PM.

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For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy..."

#21    MacsMom

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 03:06 PM

To be honest, you sound a lot like the character of Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the "Big Bang Theory".  Life works out for him okay.
;)

People will either accept you or not.  Life will have its ups and downs.  Crap will happen.

Sorry the early part of your life has sucked up til this point.  But I would say the future is up to you.  

As for the "respect" thing, in order to function in society, there are times when you have to suck it up and put on a smile while gritting your teeth.  There is no world in which all people you come in contact with or work for or live next to are going to be awesome, stand-up, moral and ethical people.  So find a way to deal with it so you're not chronically unemployed and stressed out for the rest of your life.  All you can control and worry about is yourself. :yes:

Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along.  Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?

#22    Ratte

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 06:50 PM

View PostFreeMeFromReality, on 01 August 2013 - 06:50 PM, said:



Yes to everything you said here.  Just yes.
I've known a lot of people disgusted by childbirth, and it's always a shock to me at first (my mother has been showing me childbirth videos since I was 5 or 6), but everyone just isn't into everything.  The world is populated enough without adding more children; don't let anyone pressure you.

Oh, I won't. I've faced the "you'll change your mind when you're older" crowd since I was seven, when I decided I didn't want to make any of my own. Fifteen years later, I still feel the same way.

People have told me, directly or indirectly, many things on the subject of having children. I've been told that if you don't have a family, you're not useful to society. Why? Am I not able bodied with a creative mind? It seems that cultures are afraid that if their women aren't having several children with only one man, that they will be taken over by another culture that had more children. It's barbaric and asinine. I'd like to believe we are beyond that, but it's evident we are not. A coworker told me that "you won't find yourself until you have children". My response? "Maybe for you, but not for me."

As for your mom showing you videos like that... That is disgusting to me. If mine had tried, well, I might not be here to talk to you today. Heh. It almost sounds like child abuse by itself.

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#23    rodentraiser

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 12:08 AM

View PostFreeMeFromReality, on 31 July 2013 - 11:23 PM, said:

What leads you to believe that?  I most certainly don't.




Oh, just the fact that you seem to have a me vs them sort of outlook, and the fact that you also seem to like solitude. As I said though, you may not have AS either. It's just that I have AS myself and thought I saw some similarity there, for what it's worth.

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#24    LostSouls7

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 07:11 AM

Normal are the people who follow and think whatever the church...
politicans... and leaders say!

normal are people who all have the SAME hair cut.. same clothes... all act walk the same.
Have almost the same mind.

Normal is going to a job you hate everyday.. and thinking it will never change.

Normal is having no feeling.. or imagination.

Normal is bring a consumer and not a producer.

Normal is just following orders but not expressing yourself.

Normal is not being self empowered.

normals is liking everything society likes.

Normal is doing what THEY want you to do, without question..

Normal is not being a free thinker.

I am NOT normal.

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#25    LostSouls7

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 07:21 AM

View PostFreeMeFromReality, on 01 August 2013 - 03:22 AM, said:


The elders in my life aren't wise.  They're mean, twisted people.  Pedophiles, alcoholics and abusers.

If you want to meet truly wise ones. You must walk with the wizards of our time.

This man here on Youtube is a REAL wizard..
his videos and website are full of widom.. please do watch them.
And learn from a real wizard !



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