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Was Jesus a vampire, or a zombie?


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#16    Elfin

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 09:59 AM

View PostRatte, on 04 August 2013 - 09:57 AM, said:

You mean those crackers? Those are just symbolism.

Not according to Catholic doctrine. Accordig to them, it really is his flesh.


#17    Ratte

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:02 AM

View PostElfin, on 04 August 2013 - 09:59 AM, said:



Not according to Catholic doctrine. Accordig to them, it really is his flesh.
Some people take symbolism too seriously?

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#18    Likely Guy

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:15 AM

View PostRatte, on 04 August 2013 - 10:02 AM, said:


Some people take symbolism too seriously?

No more than some people take vampires and zombies too seriously, apparently.

Edit: skipped letter.

Edited by Likely Guy, 04 August 2013 - 10:20 AM.


#19    Ratte

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:24 AM

View PostLikely Guy, on 04 August 2013 - 10:15 AM, said:



No more tha some people take vampires and zombies too seriously, apparently.
To each their own. This seems more like a... What's the word or phrase? More like... Poking fun?

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#20    Likely Guy

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:31 AM

View PostRatte, on 04 August 2013 - 10:24 AM, said:


To each their own. This seems more like a... What's the word or phrase? More like... Poking fun?

Like I said, I'm an apathetic agnostic. But even to me, this seems 'aggresively antagonistic'.

No more no less than others have subscribed.


#21    DeWitz

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:39 AM

View PostLikely Guy, on 04 August 2013 - 09:58 AM, said:

Yeah, maybe this topic should be relegated to the creative writing forum.

LG, you are being generous.

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#22    Likely Guy

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:44 AM

View PostLikely Guy, on 04 August 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:


No more no less than others have subscribed.

And maybe, in that spirit, this topic should be 'given a rest'? :)


#23    Rlyeh

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 10:57 AM

He was both, he also kicked puppies.


#24    Likely Guy

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 11:08 AM

View PostRlyeh, on 04 August 2013 - 10:57 AM, said:

He was both, he also kicked puppies.

You couldn't resist, could you? :)

Edit: Now THAT was 'poking fun'.

Edited by Likely Guy, 04 August 2013 - 11:09 AM.


#25    DKO

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 11:09 AM

Maybe an Illusionist? Started off with basic distraction tricks, like turning water into wine. Stepped it up by walking on water. Then his major stunt was being crucified and coming back to life three days later. Not that different than David Blaine being encased in ice for days.

But I agree this should be in the creative writing section. I enjoy tongue-in-cheek jokes but some people get offended easily.

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#26    Paranoid Android

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 11:10 AM

View PostElfin, on 04 August 2013 - 09:02 AM, said:

He collected a group of followers around him and told them to drink his blood, and then, when he was killed, he came back to life 3 days later.

Or was he a zombie, since he also told his followers to eat his body?
Neither.

Damn, Elfin, you're questions are really easy today. The only reason this question was harder to answer than your "is Jehovah a demon"question is that there are more letters in "neither" than there are in "no". Therefore it took about a half second longer to write.

On a serious note, you have a Jesus/Abrahamic God fetish, don't you? I can't imagine joining a forum for the sole purpose of staying thread after thread denigrating a belief you don't agree with. But if it works for you, good luck with it :)

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#27    libstaK

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 11:31 AM

He couldn't have been a zombie because he gave lengthy sermons and zombies typically can't articulate more than a grrrgh, arrrgh.

If he was a vampire, I hate to say it but it would have been of sparkly variety because he was crucified during the day and taken down at 'twilight'.

Also there were many accounts of a bright light around him and that he often shone "brighter than the sun". :o :hmm:

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#28    emberdawn

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 12:49 PM

perhaps more like a Phoenix without the actual fire. Though what he went through could be considered a trial by fire. As for the other part I don't really understand. Maybe that was the only thing he had to give them besides the time he was with them. I don't think he had a lot of material possessions.

Edited by emberdawn, 04 August 2013 - 12:59 PM.


#29    GreenmansGod

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 01:17 PM

View PostRlyeh, on 04 August 2013 - 10:57 AM, said:

He was both, he also kicked puppies.

Oh my Zombie Jesus, he also ate babies and rendered their fat for flying ointment.  Honestly, the guy is dead or a work fiction.  It is not like he can defend himself. This thread is non sense

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#30    Jacques Terreur

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 01:24 PM

can vampires....turn...into zombies?





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