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Platonic Relationships


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#1    pallidin

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:18 PM

My common law wife, whom I dearly love and has been with for 17 years, for whatever reason no longer wants no sex from me or anyone.

It's difficult for me, because I do want that type of intimacy. She does not.

Between a "rock and a hard space" because I love her.

Any thoughts or experiences on how to deal with this "no-win", frustrating situation?

Thanks...


#2    IMONFIRE

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:33 PM

You knew this is coming...ok here it is...She love you?


#3    pallidin

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:42 PM

View PostIMONFIRE, on 12 January 2014 - 11:33 PM, said:

You knew this is coming...ok here it is...She love you?

She does, but...She say's that I'm not "spiritual enough" So, I guess you have a good question.


#4    Donnie Darko

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:43 PM

Suggests new ways of rekindling that part of the relationship. It won't be easy as this probably built over time, but maybe it can be resolved? I'm no expert, but what if you bring in the aspects of you that made you attracted to each other in the first place? Best of luck.


#5    Eldorado

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:47 PM

Support your wife.  Celibacy, for a while, won't kill you.


#6    pallidin

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 11:59 PM

View PostEldorado, on 12 January 2014 - 11:47 PM, said:

Support your wife.  Celibacy, for a while, won't kill you.

I understand. But, as an adult, when I have to resort to "self-pleasure" it becomes frustrating in a live-in relationship.


#7    Eldorado

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 12:08 AM

View Postpallidin, on 12 January 2014 - 11:59 PM, said:

I understand. But, as an adult, when I have to resort to "self-pleasure" it becomes frustrating in a live-in relationship.

I understand that, amigo...  but your wife, as do all women of a certain age, is going through a hard time.  She needs her 'partner' at this time more than any other barring bereavement etc.


#8    SpiritWriter

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 12:23 AM

She might change her mind. Let her know your sex can be spiritual.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#9    SpiritWriter

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 12:26 AM

You might just have to wait awhile, she needs her respect too. But after a while light some candles put on her fav romantic music give her some champagne and you never know what might happen. Do some man stuff around the house too and pretend like you dont want any.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#10    ReaperS_ParadoX

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 12:32 AM

View Postpallidin, on 12 January 2014 - 11:42 PM, said:

She does, but...She say's that I'm not "spiritual enough" So, I guess you have a good question.

she doesn't want to have sex with you because she says your not spiritual enough??!!

View PostSpiritWriter, on 13 January 2014 - 12:26 AM, said:

You might just have to wait awhile, she needs her respect too. But after a while light some candles put on her fav romantic music give her some champagne and you never know what might happen. Do some man stuff around the house too and pretend like you dont want any.
LOL

COME WITH ME. OVERWHELMING POWER AND MADNESS AWAIT

THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE AND WITH STRANGE AEONS EVEN DEATH MAY DIE

#11    IMONFIRE

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 12:42 AM

View Postpallidin, on 12 January 2014 - 11:42 PM, said:

She does, but...She say's that I'm not "spiritual enough" So, I guess you have a good question.

Dont mean to be harsh ok, im just being realistic.

Have you even thought just maybe there might be another man involved? Women who suddenly loose interest is due to a few factors such as:

Your not taking care of your self hygienic wise & thus you're no longer attracted to her.

Or

She loves you BUT isnt in love with you anymore. P.s notice the difference here.

Or

She is seeing someone else.

Again sorry, im just being realistic here. Time to investigate like any odd times she goes out? any unusual phone calls on her cel? does she put more effort to how she dresses now days?? Is she secretive?

Dont listen to what they say, look at their actions....

Edited by IMONFIRE, 13 January 2014 - 12:43 AM.


#12    pallidin

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 01:18 AM

Thanks everyone, I appreciate ALL of your comments.

To those who asked, yes, apparently she has a BIG problem with my not being "spiritual enough"
She is a very "spiritual" person.

But I do think there are other factors in play here. Another "boyfriend" is completely out of the question.

I'm wondering if it's some kind of hormonal reduction thing(like similiarly can happen with men) But, she avoids doctors.

It's kind-of like a "catch-22" that I can not get her to deal with, or for me to get out of without leaving her.

Dang. I don't know. Does anyone even understand what I've been going through... it's a bear.



Edited by pallidin, 13 January 2014 - 01:30 AM.


#13    Eldorado

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 01:56 AM

YES!  There are people who understand.

Your good lady  however is struggling to understand something that a helluva lot of women have struggled with.  Support her, my friend or you will lose more than 'rations of passion'.  FGS.

Edited by Eldorado, 13 January 2014 - 01:57 AM.


#14    JGirl

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 02:02 AM

i think you should seek couples counselling.


#15    pallidin

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Posted 13 January 2014 - 02:46 AM

View PostJGirl, on 13 January 2014 - 02:02 AM, said:

i think you should seek couples counselling.

Huh. I'll look into that, though I doubt she would agree to that. She doesn't like doc's, for some reason.





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