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Gigantopithecus body found in Alberta.


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#1    keninsc

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 04:37 AM

link: http://www.sagenews....cle.asp?id=3007

Quote

Alberta: Bow Valley flooding exposes rotting carcass of a Sasquatch.

Legendary Cryptid believed to be a surviving Gigantopithecus

The recent mass flooding in southern Alberta has exposed a rotting corpse of what is believed to be the legendary Sasquatch. Cryptozoologists worldwide are lining up to examine the remains, which were located by a hiker along the Bow River, northwest of Canmore, Alberta.

Eminent Paleontologist Wally Johnson has conducted a preliminary site examination of the remains, and has discovered that the carcass appears to be ancient.

Now, I have to wonder why this didn't get more press time? I'd have to say this is a significant find.


Edited by Saru, 28 January 2014 - 09:45 AM.
Trimmed for length


#2    QuiteContrary

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 04:52 AM

 keninsc, on 28 January 2014 - 04:37 AM, said:


Now, I have to wonder why this didn't get more press time? I'd have to say this is a significant find.

Maybe due to the disclaimer following the article:

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.


#3    beelzebufo

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:00 AM

This got even my cold skeptic's heart racing. A gigantopithecus in Alberta? Surely this is too good to be true! Then I got to the disclaimer. I thought satire was supposed to be funny, not soul-crushing.

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#4    keninsc

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:01 AM

Yeah, turns out it's a hoax. The Sage is one of those rags that prints anything given to it so long as it's sensational.

Oh well. The good news is I still have a chance to nail one.


#5    keninsc

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:19 AM

 beelzebufo, on 28 January 2014 - 05:00 AM, said:

This got even my cold skeptic's heart racing. A gigantopithecus in Alberta? Surely this is too good to be true! Then I got to the disclaimer. I thought satire was supposed to be funny, not soul-crushing.

Don't feel bad, it got me all wet and sticky too.


#6    DieChecker

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:27 AM

I was interested mainly because no "bigfoot-tologists" were involved.

I was breathless for a moment too. :w00t:

It was like Christmas for bigfoot enthusiasts. :santa:  And then the glimmer of Hope was dashed to the rocks... :devil:

Edited by DieChecker, 28 January 2014 - 05:27 AM.

Here at Intel we make processors on 12 inch wafers. And, the individual processors on the wafers are called die. And, I am employed to check these die. That is why I am the DieChecker.

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#7    Hasina

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:31 AM

When I read 'Gigantopithecus body found in Alberta', I was thinking fossilized remains and I was rolling my eyes thinking 'this is gonna give the bigfoot people more cannon fodder', but reading the article and everyone's responses, it's a bit funny. Too bad China didn't pick up on it like the 'Kim Jong Un hottest man alive' hoax.

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#8    CaitSith

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:43 AM

kinensc you tease.....

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#9    Likely Guy

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:44 AM

This is entirely bad form and should not be condoned.

QC saw how false your OP was in 5 minutes. Do you have a reason for doing that?

Edited by Likely Guy, 28 January 2014 - 05:48 AM.


#10    DieChecker

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 06:08 AM

I wonder what the picture is of....

Looks like maybe a long dead goat??

Here at Intel we make processors on 12 inch wafers. And, the individual processors on the wafers are called die. And, I am employed to check these die. That is why I am the DieChecker.

At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Qualifications? This is cryptozoology, dammit! All that is required is the spirit of adventure. - Night Walker

#11    keninsc

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 06:48 AM

 Likely Guy, on 28 January 2014 - 05:44 AM, said:

This is entirely bad form and should not be condoned.

QC saw how false your OP was in 5 minutes. Do you have a reason for doing that?

I'm high on cold medicine right now.


#12    Likely Guy

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 07:39 AM

Well, damn. I just chuckled near off my chair on that.

Meh, I'm high on a bit of rum right now. Jacques can commiserate.


#13    supervike

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:35 PM

Cryptozoologist Coren Lowman.


LOL, great name.


#14    Xynoplas

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 07:16 PM

Come on, it's at the top of the page:
"The only Faux News Source you can Trust".

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#15    ReaperS_ParadoX

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 07:38 PM

Epic Fail lol jk

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