Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


* * * * * 2 votes

Brown & beautiful


  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1    Beany

Beany

    Poltergeist

  • 3,061 posts
  • Joined:26 Jul 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California

  • If music is the most universal language just think of me as one whole note. Nikki Giovanni

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:26 AM

My 18 year old granddaughter has been feeling the effects of being brown-skinned, a minority in a majority of white skinned people, name calling, disparaging remarks, the whole prejudice ball of wax. I wondered when she would fully realize she was a woman of color, and I guess that time has come. If this were someone you cared about, what would you tell them that they might find helpful? I can't protect her, but maybe with some help, we can find some effective coping strategies.


#2    Imaginarynumber1

Imaginarynumber1

    I am not an irrational number

  • Member
  • 3,986 posts
  • Joined:22 Mar 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:27 AM

People that treat others different based on skin color, ethnicity, accent, etc are pieces of sh!t and fast becoming the real minority.

"A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays."


July 17th, 2008 (Full moon the next night)

RAPTORS! http://www.unexplain...pic=233151&st=0


#3    Likely Guy

Likely Guy

    Undecided, mostly.

  • Member
  • 3,984 posts
  • Joined:09 May 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Likely, Canada

  • "The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:46 AM

View PostImaginarynumber1, on 30 January 2014 - 03:27 AM, said:

People that treat others different based on skin color, ethnicity, accent, etc are pieces of sh!t and fast becoming the real minority.

I agree but, how would you word those sentiments nicer?


#4    Daughter of the Nine Moons

Daughter of the Nine Moons

    ☆。Fearstriker Do'Teh 。☆

  • 14,289 posts
  • Joined:11 Jan 2004
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:I forgot...

  • ☆彡

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:48 AM

I would tell someone I loved to never be ashamed of who you are, that people who judge a person by the external  are lacking something fundamental in themselves.

iheartsugarbear

#5    libstaK

libstaK

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • 6,010 posts
  • Joined:06 Feb 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Melbourne, Australia

  • Hello Reality and all that is True
    When Oxymoron was defined it was just for you

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:55 AM

You know Beany, there could be some real jealousy attached.  I am very pale for a "white" person.  I don't tan, I go from white to lobster red if I try it and am left with freckles which is not a good thing given the intensity of the Australian sun.  I love brown skin, I would be jealous but then I would just say so and not hide behind snarky remarks.

The other thing is - fear of the different, she has a lot more power than she realises, folk are very good at disparaging what they fear, secretly they must think she is better than them in some way to bother commenting in a way that "brings her down to size" - their size.  

Whatever the reason, the fact remains that it is not just racist it is a form of bullying and bullies are rotten inside - she doesn't need to listen to the likes of those, they will never know how to live a truly happy life if all they can see is the opportunity to put others down to make themselves feel ok.

"I warn you, whoever you are, oh you who wish to probe the arcanes of nature, if you do not find within yourself that which you seek, neither shall you find it outside.
If you ignore the excellencies of your own house, how do you intend to find other excellencies?
In you is hidden the treasure of treasures, Oh man, know thyself and you shall know the Universe and the Gods."

Inscription - Temple of Delphi

#6    Likely Guy

Likely Guy

    Undecided, mostly.

  • Member
  • 3,984 posts
  • Joined:09 May 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Likely, Canada

  • "The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

Posted 30 January 2014 - 04:24 AM

Good sentiments these.

I'd tell her to not let it bother her (yeah, I know, easier said than done).

Tell her that if it does bother her and she reacts in kind it will only slide herself down to the level of her tormentors. Tell her that if she can surmount this she will always be beautiful (inside and out) and that they should be pitied, not scorned. Tell her to be accepting, unlike what she has experienced. Tell her that she may at times feel alone, but she is never alone. Tell her that most white people condemn the behaviour of the people that torment her.

Racism is an ugly disease.


#7    and then

and then

    Abyssus Abyssum Invocat

  • Member
  • 12,907 posts
  • Joined:15 Dec 2011
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Land's End

  • Because what came before never seems enough...

Posted 30 January 2014 - 04:49 AM

View PostBeany, on 30 January 2014 - 03:26 AM, said:

My 18 year old granddaughter has been feeling the effects of being brown-skinned, a minority in a majority of white skinned people, name calling, disparaging remarks, the whole prejudice ball of wax. I wondered when she would fully realize she was a woman of color, and I guess that time has come. If this were someone you cared about, what would you tell them that they might find helpful? I can't protect her, but maybe with some help, we can find some effective coping strategies.
I grew up a fat kid - very fat.  People - especially young kids - are cruel in the extreme.  The only thing that would have helped with the pain would have been a certainty of my own value - a confidence and a maturity that I did not possess at that time.  Tell her that she is a child of God - the same as any other and that she need not feel badly about the work God did in creating her.  He has  a plan and she is a part of it.  Her job is to be herself and let those who are ignorant find their own way - because they ARE ignorant (most, anyway) of their callousness and the pain their behavior actually brings.  Tell her that if she finds a way to forgive them she can be free.  It's tough becoming an adult but it's sometimes the only solution.  How many of us never make it...

Edited by and then, 30 January 2014 - 04:50 AM.

  Imagination is the power in the turn of a phrase.

#8    Imaginarynumber1

Imaginarynumber1

    I am not an irrational number

  • Member
  • 3,986 posts
  • Joined:22 Mar 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 30 January 2014 - 05:02 AM

View PostLikely Guy, on 30 January 2014 - 03:46 AM, said:

I agree but, how would you word those sentiments nicer?

I wouldn't. But I;m also called an ahole quite regularly.

"A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays."


July 17th, 2008 (Full moon the next night)

RAPTORS! http://www.unexplain...pic=233151&st=0


#9    Likely Guy

Likely Guy

    Undecided, mostly.

  • Member
  • 3,984 posts
  • Joined:09 May 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Likely, Canada

  • "The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

Posted 30 January 2014 - 05:35 AM

View Postand then, on 30 January 2014 - 04:49 AM, said:

I grew up a fat kid - very fat.  People - especially young kids - are cruel in the extreme.  The only thing that would have helped with the pain would have been a certainty of my own value - a confidence and a maturity that I did not possess at that time.  Tell her that she is a child of God - the same as any other and that she need not feel badly about the work God did in creating her.  He has  a plan and she is a part of it.  Her job is to be herself and let those who are ignorant find their own way - because they ARE ignorant (most, anyway) of their callousness and the pain their behavior actually brings.  Tell her that if she finds a way to forgive them she can be free.  It's tough becoming an adult but it's sometimes the only solution.  How many of us never make it...

From what you said, it rings true that children can be cruel. But where do they learn the biases? Earlier on, it can only be at home. As they grow up, it's often wrongly 'confirmed' by their peers. How do you stop that?

And then, you also said, "How many of us never make it..." My first time as a pall bearer was when I was 14. That's too young to die and too young to bury a friend. By the way, looking back he was confused and probably gay. But that leads back to a different thread.

How do you stop the intolerant behaviour? The old saying is that you start at home. But what do you do when the real problem isn't in your home, but the home down the street.

I'll end by repeating that racism is an ugly disease.


#10    psyche101

psyche101

    Conspiracy Realist

  • Member
  • 30,014 posts
  • Joined:30 Nov 2005
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Oz

  • If you stop to think, Remember to start again

Posted 30 January 2014 - 07:45 AM

Is she in California too? I have not been to the states, but I was under the impression that racism was getting under control?

I cannot really fathom racism, I never really understood it. I can be distrustful of culture, but skin colour I honestly have always thought of as just a human variation - like a ski jump nose, or Red Hair, I do not understand how people find skin colour affecting judgement. Seems quite weird to me to be honest.

I am not sure you can say anything? If she is stuck in a certain group or place where such small minded idiots gather, she is going to face it every day, and even if she does realise that they are small minded morons who are only comfortable in a group who is incapable of thinking past the group mentality, she is still stuck with these halfwits.

Would a role model offer some thing to be proud of? I have no idea what ethnicity she is, but some Indigenous women who have made it to the big time are totally smoking hot and have great loves, and loved by people who are not jailed in tiny little minds. Perhaps something to strive for, and get away from those mentally challenged freaks might offer a goal to achieve that is past that which she is currently struggling with?

I mean, I do not like her music much, but Rihanna is drop dead gorgeous

Posted Image


Or from my own country "Downunder" Jessica Mauboy is another I think is just a stunning vision

Posted ImagePosted Image





Or the inspirational high achiever Cathy Freeman? Also an Aussie and beautiful

Posted Image



I do not know much about Bollywood, not into the movies, but I see articles with gorgeous stars in them often, like this one I just Googled at a moments notice:


Posted Image


However, as you know her, I am sure you might be able to spot some influences that might help her realise that the only ugly thing in her life is the people who cannot see her beauty.


I bet the people who do not "like" her brown skin risk their lives with melanoma to copy it though.


It pains me that such barbaric ideals still persist.

Edited by psyche101, 30 January 2014 - 07:48 AM.

Things are what they are. - Me Reality can't be debunked. That's the beauty of it. - Capeo 'If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.' - Sir Isaac Newton. "Let me repeat the lesson learned from the Sturrock scientific review panel: Pack up your old data and forget it. Ufology needs new data, new cases, new rigorous and scientific methodologies if it hopes ever to get out of its pit." Ed Stewart. Youtube is the last refuge of the ignorant and is more often used for disinformation than genuine research.  There is a REASON for PEER REVIEW... - Chrlzs. Nothing is inexplicable, just unexplained. - Sir Wearer of Hats.


#11    third_eye

third_eye

    _ M Ġ ń Ř Ī Ş_

  • Member
  • 6,867 posts
  • Joined:06 Nov 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Malaysia

  • "Legio nomen mihi est, quia multi sumus"

    God has no religion ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Posted 30 January 2014 - 07:56 AM

View PostBeany, on 30 January 2014 - 03:26 AM, said:

My 18 year old granddaughter has been feeling the effects of being brown-skinned, a minority in a majority of white skinned people, name calling, disparaging remarks, the whole prejudice ball of wax. I wondered when she would fully realize she was a woman of color, and I guess that time has come. If this were someone you cared about, what would you tell them that they might find helpful? I can't protect her, but maybe with some help, we can find some effective coping strategies.

its not the kids ... its the things the kids goes through growing up ... grand daughter is 18 and is old enough to know and see the fine lines where the facts lies ~

she just needs support and affirmation of what is true ... in this days and age it is the one that is most extraordinary that is singled out for mob mentality prejudice in a small social circle ... no need to make anything up that might end up as false promises ...

Posted Image


~

Quote

' ... life and death carry on as they always have ~ and always will, only the dreamer is gone ~ behind the flow of imagination, beyond any effort to be still
dancing in the ebb and flow of attention, more present than the breath, I find the origins of my illusions, only the dreamer is gone ~ the dream never ends
'

GIFTS WITH NO GIVER - a love affair with truth ~ Poems by Nirmala

third_eye ' s cavern ~ bring own beer


#12    Beany

Beany

    Poltergeist

  • 3,061 posts
  • Joined:26 Jul 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California

  • If music is the most universal language just think of me as one whole note. Nikki Giovanni

Posted 30 January 2014 - 02:41 PM

View Postthird_eye, on 30 January 2014 - 07:56 AM, said:

its not the kids ... its the things the kids goes through growing up ... grand daughter is 18 and is old enough to know and see the fine lines where the facts lies ~

she just needs support and affirmation of what is true ... in this days and age it is the one that is most extraordinary that is singled out for mob mentality prejudice in a small social circle ... no need to make anything up that might end up as false promises ...

Posted Image


~
This brought tears to my eyes, thank you for the post.


#13    Beany

Beany

    Poltergeist

  • 3,061 posts
  • Joined:26 Jul 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California

  • If music is the most universal language just think of me as one whole note. Nikki Giovanni

Posted 30 January 2014 - 02:45 PM

Thank you, all of you, some good ideas. There are people, mostly light-skinned, who believe racism is no longer a problem. Those people are wrong. FYI, my granddaughter is Pacific Islander, and some of my family names are Pacheco, Higuera, Rivera.


#14    ironhead1

ironhead1

    Alien Embryo

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 53 posts
  • Joined:04 Jan 2014

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:04 PM

from the life of saint moses the black(ethiopian)


Having spent many a year at monastic exploits, the Monk Moses was ordained deacon. The bishop attired him in white vesture and said: "Abba Moses is now entirely white". The saint

answered: "Vladyka, what makes it purely white — the outer or the inner?" Through humility the saint reckoned himself unworthy to accept the dignity of deacon. One time the bishop decided to test him and he bid the clergy to drive him out of the altar, whilst reviling him for being an unworthy black-Ethiopian. With full humility the monk accepted the abuse. Having put him to the test, the bishop then ordained the monk to be presbyter. And in this dignity the Monk Moses asceticised for 15 years and gathered round himself 75 disciples.


#15    Mantis914

Mantis914

    Psychic Spy

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,014 posts
  • Joined:26 Jun 2007
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Lone Star State

  • You have shown me a strange image, and they are strange prisoners. Plato

Posted 30 January 2014 - 03:15 PM

View PostBeany, on 30 January 2014 - 02:45 PM, said:

Thank you, all of you, some good ideas. There are people, mostly light-skinned, who believe racism is no longer a problem. Those people are wrong. FYI, my granddaughter is Pacific Islander, and some of my family names are Pacheco, Higuera, Rivera.

While that may be true, there's enough racism in darker toned people also... light-skinned folks don't corner the market on that...  

When I went to Jr. High school, I had some of the most bullying done to me all in the name of integration.  Where I lived at had a Jr. High right down the street, yet the district found it proper to bus me across town to a school that had barb wire on the fence around the school.  The majority of the students were Hispanic, like me, yet because I am light skinned with blond hair and light colored eyes, I was never one of "them" and got teased and bullied also even by a teacher.  The best thing that you can do is hope that your little one finds a few nice friends because even though I have bad memories at that school, I made life long friends with the ones that did befriend me that I talk to even to this day.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users