Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


* * * * - 1 votes

"Needing" other people.


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1    SereneScene

SereneScene

    Apparition

  • Member
  • PipPip
  • 286 posts
  • Joined:27 Jun 2011
  • Gender:Male

Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:39 PM

Ok so I hear all this stuff about being happy with yourself and what not, just be yourself etc etc.

Why do people get depressed often? Because of being lonely, no freinds, no significant other.

Why do people try to emulate others or act a certain way that they are not? To be around others, to make people like them.

My point is this, yea you have to be happy and like yourself but for many people being happy is being with other people.

"You can live like a king but what is the point if you have no one to share it with?"

I have always been an introverted person, quiet, in my mind, to myself, as an adult it has taken me a while but now I realize that all I want is to have freinds, people to laugh with, share with, be happy with, cry with, grow old and look back on stories together, real true freinds.

Its hard though, its hard to make freinds for some people, and I think that is what makes people depressed, they just want to be liked, appreciated, loved.

Do you believe we "need" each other? What happens to a persons soul and mind when they go their whole life without (true) friends?


#2    spartan max2

spartan max2

    Government Agent

  • Member
  • 3,686 posts
  • Joined:15 Nov 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ohio

  • People get mad when it rains or it shines but no one gets mad at the moon

Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:44 PM

We are social creatures if people want to believe it or not. Alone time is good of course but we do need each other I believe, we are designed that way

" I imagine that the intellegent people are the ones so intellegent that they dont even need or want to look "intellegent" anymore".
Criss Jami

#3    acute

acute

    I'm a hoglet. Get over it!

  • Member
  • 3,062 posts
  • Joined:02 Jan 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hedge, UK.

  • Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Posted 03 February 2014 - 11:33 PM

I could have written the first post myself!

Yes, we are social creatures, but friends are hard work!

I have a desire for close friendships, yet I keep potential friends at arms length because I am frightened of being hurt somehow, and I am too cynical and/or too lazy to put the required effort into maintaining the relationship.

As I get older I have become less shy and introverted, but I think my expectations are still too high. Surely it is better to have a few 'fairweather' friends than have no friends at all.

.

Edited by acute, 03 February 2014 - 11:34 PM.


#4    quiXilver

quiXilver

    Psychic Spy

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,377 posts
  • Joined:05 May 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:south bay, california

Posted 03 February 2014 - 11:46 PM

Quality over quantity.
Balance in all things.

Unknowingly, we plow the dust of stars, blown about us by the wind and drink the universe in a glass of rain. ~ Ihab Hassan
You never change things by fighting the existing reality.  To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. ~R. Buckminster Fuller
Just because you thought it, or felt it deeply, doesn't make it real, true or important.  Don't believe everything you think... ~ Creighton Larson
Everything you Love and Everything you Hate, come from the Same Source:  ~Creighton Larson

#5    Skep B

Skep B

    Savant of Depravity

  • Member
  • 5,563 posts
  • Joined:02 Aug 2013
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Duuuuuuuuuuuude

Posted 04 February 2014 - 12:18 AM

lets not also forget that everyone has different levels of comfort, I'm massively introverted, but very rarely i can enjoy being around other people.

...very, very rarely

When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him


#6    Sean93

Sean93

    Astral Projection

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 725 posts
  • Joined:24 Nov 2012
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ireland

  • WRATH

Posted 04 February 2014 - 03:23 AM

I can totally be around other people so long as it doesn't become an obligation, you know?

I have very few friends and might do well to act more 'friendlier' to them, so to speak, but at the same time I do love the solitude. The only problem with the silence of solitude is that you do end up wanting some noise when those really dark thoughts start creeping in. That's when let company in the most. Incidentally, I've come to like bars/pubs only for the noise; you get no time to think in such an environment.

"Be peaceful, be courteous, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.”

#7    SereneScene

SereneScene

    Apparition

  • Member
  • PipPip
  • 286 posts
  • Joined:27 Jun 2011
  • Gender:Male

Posted 04 February 2014 - 03:59 AM

I just dont want to be alone later in life, Going back to that "live like a king quote", the thing that reminded me of that was a friend of my brothers.

Him along with a group of others they all grew up with (now in their 40's), they were sitting in his new house, they all praised him saying how great and nice his house was, he said "it is nice and all but the way I see it is; its ours, all of this is ours, whats the point if I cant share and enjoy with my family".

That made me feel nice inside but sad at the same time because I myself dont have friends like this, these guys are like brothers, they are there for each other always and have gone through it all, it makes me feel sad that I am 24 and dont have friends like this.

Maybe in time but its eating me up inside now, I want freinds like this, I want a family in the future, kids, sometimes it feels like I wont get this, I dunno, maybe I just get emotional about stuff.


#8    keninsc

keninsc

    Poltergeist

  • Closed
  • 3,234 posts
  • Joined:08 Mar 2012
  • Gender:Not Selected

  • The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. Liz Taylor

Posted 04 February 2014 - 05:19 AM

Being with others is really part of us as a species. Alone time is great and we do need it but we also need human interaction, companionship, friendship, fellowship. What's the old quote? ".....no man is an island...."


#9    Drayno

Drayno

    Bounty Hunter

  • Member
  • 3,917 posts
  • Joined:18 Jan 2008
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Neo-Mars

  • States are domed when they are unable to distinguish good men from bad.

    - Antisthenes.

Posted 04 February 2014 - 07:59 AM

Being alone for long periods of time will drive any person mad.

For how could any human, being aware of the pointlessness of existence, not be driven mad?

"Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings."
- William Shakespeare, Richard II, Act III, Scene II
Posted Image

#10    rodentraiser

rodentraiser

    Apparition

  • Member
  • PipPip
  • 372 posts
  • Joined:13 Nov 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Washington state

  • "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies."

    from Wrong Planet Forums

Posted 04 February 2014 - 06:41 PM

Drayno, what do you consider to be a long period of time? Just curious, because I have spent 4 to 5 days in my room not having contact with anyone. The most I can say is it's boring because I get tired of books and crossword puzzles, but now Ihave my computer finally connected again and I have the whole world to talk to. Maybe that's my way of having contact - connected but not connected. Whatever, it works for me.

Posted Image


I’m sick of voting for the lesser of two evils. The lesser of two evils is still evil. And almost always the lesser of two evils is our only choice.

We have been voting for the lesser of two evils for decade upon decade and look where it’s gotten us.     Coleman Luck


#11    Orcseeker

Orcseeker

    Poltergeist

  • Member
  • 2,821 posts
  • Joined:15 Dec 2007
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Australia

Posted 04 February 2014 - 10:06 PM

Yeh I see what you mean. I enjoy my alone time more than the average person. It does annoy me if I spend the whole day with people too much. Like I just need that alone time in there somewhere.

I consider myself lucky I have a huge variety of friends I can hang out with and have a rich history going back to high school and even primary school (elementary school for those in the US).

Although I have been feeling lonely on another front. The one person I am intimate with is living on the other side of the world. I saw her early this year but you never really get that proper time as you want. If you're like me and find it hard to even like someone more than a friend, this was the only girl I've ever seen and really felt compelled to do something about it.

I think anyone can find someone and friends. I'm not sure if you're like me and have a small scope of people you can really get along with but you'll get there. Memories create bonds with people. If you hang out with a bunch of people you can enjoy hanging out with, create some fond memories, that's all you need to get the ball rolling.

A problem I still have is the fact that I rarely plan things with my friends. Other friends of mine tend to be the ones doing the planning.

Good idea for a thread as well, I think a lot of us can find common ground here.


#12    Purplos

Purplos

    Majestic 12 Operative

  • Member
  • 6,584 posts
  • Joined:03 Apr 2005
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Fighting ennui in suburban NJ

  • Everything important is infinite.

Posted 04 February 2014 - 10:12 PM

I haven't had an offline friend since 1992 when I left high school. I socialize online to some extent, and that seems sufficient for me. I also talk to my immediate family semi-regularly. I'm 39 and divorced for quite a while now with no intentions of ever dating or getting married again. I don't feel any great hunger for close friends or even people to go out and do stuff with.

I would have absolutely no clue how to get any if I did want to anyway.

Embrace the impossible.

#13    White Crane Feather

White Crane Feather

    Seeker79

  • Member
  • 12,999 posts
  • Joined:12 Jul 2010
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:California

  • Potter: " is this real or is this in my mind?"

    Dumbledore: " Of course it's in your mind....., but that dosn't mean it's not real."

Posted 04 February 2014 - 11:37 PM

It's true we need people. Rrrrrrrr I hate admit it.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#14    XenoFish

XenoFish

    Back from the dead

  • Member
  • 6,240 posts
  • Joined:27 Jul 2013
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Somewhere between birth and death.

  • Someone should stab you in eye with a really hot french fry.

Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:45 AM

If I could be a hermit I would. I'm not fond of people. Not that I hate them. I'd rather be alone, to myself. If my wife passes before me I will, though I'll talk to my kids often.Yet live a very quiet life. A social life isn't for everyone.

Edited by XenoFish, 05 February 2014 - 12:46 AM.

The world is dumb enough, don't add to it!

#15    little_dreamer

little_dreamer

    Government Agent

  • Member
  • 3,409 posts
  • Joined:31 Mar 2008
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Deep South

  • We did not understand it all, but somehow we survived.

Posted 05 February 2014 - 01:06 AM

View PostPurplos, on 04 February 2014 - 10:12 PM, said:

I haven't had an offline friend since 1992 when I left high school. I socialize online to some extent, and that seems sufficient for me. I also talk to my immediate family semi-regularly. I'm 39 and divorced for quite a while now with no intentions of ever dating or getting married again. I don't feel any great hunger for close friends or even people to go out and do stuff with.

I would have absolutely no clue how to get any if I did want to anyway.

There is probably nothing wrong with you. There are just different degrees of introversion vs. extroversion.

My own problem is that I get tired and worn out easily.  I need time alone with peace and quiet to recuperate, with lots of sleep.

The bad thing about friendship is that it comes and goes. I have been leaning on myself more than friends lately.

I am another anonymous face in the crowd. I am just another tiny wheel in the machinery of the world I live in.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users