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Had my fortune read on the weekend


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#16    quillius

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:00 PM

View PostParanoid Android, on 05 February 2014 - 11:29 AM, said:

Hi quillius,

We were called to a private booth rather than our table. And yes, we were both given readings, and I went first. My date commented that she was less accurate about her than she was with me.

And yes, thank you for asking, the date went very well ;)

ok thanks....


and glad to hear the relationship is still blossoming :tu:


#17    Paranoid Android

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:43 PM

View PostFrank Merton, on 05 February 2014 - 11:55 AM, said:

A good reader can identify things about yourself that it is good for you to know.  I don't think it's magic, but just a skill some people have, sometimes learned sometimes intuitive.  Once they have your main issues, their advice can be great.

Of course they often make guesses, and certain guesses, like a recent loss, are very likely to be correct.  Then they assess how serious the loss was to you before proceeding.  Then, again, a wrong guess can also be covered in a myriad of ways, with something like, "What I mean is . . .."
Believe it or not, I can't disagree with anything you've said. I think I'll check the Bible for a prophetic end to see if Frank and PA agreeing is one of the signs of the apocalypse :lol:

Thanks for the input, I suppose it could be said that once she played the "close loss" card with me she couldn't do the same with my date. If so, she was lucky, she'd have to have used that "what I meant..." alternative. Either way, the night was still a good night. Hope there are many more such nights :devil:

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#18    Paranoid Android

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:45 PM

View Postquillius, on 05 February 2014 - 12:00 PM, said:



ok thanks....


and glad to hear the relationship is still blossoming :tu:
:wub: still early days, but there's definitely fun in the immediate future, what more can one ask for, really, this early in?

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#19    Rafterman

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 01:04 PM

Sorry for your loss.

As for the reading, it's a fairly safe bet that folks of a certain age have "lost someone" recently.  If you had not confirmed that your mother had passed, I'm sure your reader would have just moved on to something else and you would probably not even remember it.  Most folks would probably say something like, "no, it was my uncle" and the reader would say "yes, I was sensing a family member."  And the person would go tell their friends "she knew Uncle Jimbo died."  That's how it works.

As for the part about "I consider myself a medium,"  that was nothing more than an attempt to get you roped in for future sessions.  It's all about the $$ you know.  She was trying to get you into the Champagne Room if you get my drift.

Edited by Rafterman, 05 February 2014 - 01:09 PM.

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#20    Paranoid Android

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 01:16 PM

View PostRafterman, on 05 February 2014 - 01:04 PM, said:

Sorry for your loss.

As for the reading, it's a fairly safe bet that folks of a certain age have "lost someone" recently.  If you had not confirmed that your mother had passed, I'm sure your reader would have just moved on to something else and you would probably not even remember it.  Most folks would probably say something like, "no, it was my uncle" and the reader would say "yes, I was sensing a family member."  And the person would go tell their friends "she knew Uncle Jimbo died."  That's how it works.

As for the part about "I consider myself a medium,"  that was nothing more than an attempt to get you roped in for future sessions.  It's all about the $$ you know.  She was trying to get you into the Champagne Room if you get my drift.
You cynical fella, you ;) but yes, I've thought the same. Still, if she did it for my date instead of me, she'd be done. My date is only 3 years younger  and she hadn't even had anyone pass. Maybe she got lucky with a guess, maybe something I inadvertently said pointed to mum. I'm not sure it matters, I'm just sharing something I don't really believe in to begin with.

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#21    Rafterman

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 02:44 PM

View PostParanoid Android, on 05 February 2014 - 01:16 PM, said:

You cynical fella, you ;) but yes, I've thought the same. Still, if she did it for my date instead of me, she'd be done. My date is only 3 years younger  and she hadn't even had anyone pass. Maybe she got lucky with a guess, maybe something I inadvertently said pointed to mum. I'm not sure it matters, I'm just sharing something I don't really believe in to begin with.

A lot of it is confirmation bias.  She probably would have run through the "you've lost someone" spiel and, having no hits, would have moved on to something else.  The readee will typically only remember the hits and not the misses.  It's like these posters on her who say things like "everytime I look at the clock it's 2:14. what does that mean?"  It simply means that they're forgetting all of the times they look at the clock and it's not 2:14.

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#22    ChrLzs

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 05:09 AM

Other tactics include things like, after getting a fairly strong reaction to a (50% guaranteed!) loss question, saying " someone very close...?" and then wait for the obvious body language/reaction even before the "yes" or "no" and then honing in with a slowly asked "- your mm..o....' and by reading your reaction she will either know she's got it or change it even in mid word as necessary.  Or even just the lame "I see a really strong link to your mother, so was it someone very close to your mother, or who was like a mother or father to you..?"  and so on....

It really is an art, and well worth watching examples - I'll see if I can find a good one.  Thing is that you won't recall the hesitations and initially wrong guesses, and think that she has hit it first off.  Although in this case, it sounds like she just got lucky - in any group of people that will have to happen quite frequently..  And of course it will only be those folks that report the successes..

What's even more fascinating is that those who do it, often believe in their own powers..

I know, I'm way too cynical..!  Funnily enough, there is a story of ESP in my own family that I find quite hard to debunk, but that is for another day (and has nothing to do with cold-reading)...

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#23    Frank Merton

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 05:15 AM

You are not way too cynical and I think such people are well aware of what they are doing and are manipulative and after money.  We all have way too much confidence in our ability to spot confidence games and other such things.


#24    SpiritWriter

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 05:23 AM

View Post_Only, on 05 February 2014 - 07:08 AM, said:

I've had only one run in with what you could call a 'medium', and it was just a short, bizarre few words that I haven't forgotten after all these years. It was back in my days of drugs, and I'd ended up in a mental hospital after a multi-day binge. As I sat in the front room silently thinking about the past few days ending with voices in my head tormenting and mocking me , a guy around my age then (low 20s) sat next to me for a second, then turned and said "you know, they're just trying to break you down", then paused, waiting for me to speak, and then said "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" and turned back forward. He was so nonchalant and honest in the way he said those words that it struck me, and I've not forgotten the bizarre moment.

Im not surprised about thay really. People who are thought of as scitzophrenics have some deep psychic moments especially with other schitzophrenics... I am not calling you a scitzophrenic but speaking on your mind state at that time. More research and expose should be done on this topic...

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#25    _Only

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 06:09 AM

View PostSpiritWriter, on 06 February 2014 - 05:23 AM, said:

Im not surprised about thay really. People who are thought of as scitzophrenics have some deep psychic moments especially with other schitzophrenics... I am not calling you a scitzophrenic but speaking on your mind state at that time. More research and expose should be done on this topic...

Yeah, actually, a counselor who held some groups in my 28 day in-house rehab mentioned a story he personally found very intriguing along those same lines. He had proposed to his girlfriend one day, and was feeling on top of the world. Later that day, he had a visit to a mental hospital, as he'd often do (to do group visits with addicts, I assume), and one of the 'schizophrenics' there greeted him as he walked by. He said congratulations to the counselor, who then asked him why, to which he got the reply "you're getting married". He said the guy walked off smiling. This short story prefaced the passing wonder this counselor had that perhaps there can be much more than meets the eye to the medical classification of 'schizophrenia'.

Much more research should be done, but it deals with one of the greatest unknowns in reality: the mind.

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#26    eight bits

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 07:05 AM

It's funny that in this company I should be the softie on the motives of the fortune teller in saying she wished to be a medium. Perhaps it's just the happy accident that I know well a lady who used to read tea leaves in a funky tea room. She was aware that her tea leaves spiel was performance, but she also thought (thinks) of herself as somebody open to energies, etc.

One thing about what PA's fortune teller said is probably true, that she does this for extra cash, not as her profession. These gigs do not typically afford the lifestyle to which the late Sylvia Brown became accustomed. A little intuition about cold reading and a gift for sincere delivery of "horoscope speak" make this is a nice way to pick up tips for anybody who's a "people person."

_Only's anecdote is nice, too. His schizophrenic "psychic" is a nice illustration of someone who probably didn't study for his performance of cold reading. It's also a reminder that cold reading can be a relationship of peers, and not just a skill (in the sense that the performer "does something" and the person being read is just a passive recipient). The object of the relationship is not necessarily factual accuracy, but a feeling of shared mindedness.

The person-being-read's "How did (s)he know that?" reaction is their contribution to the relationship. What if the schizophrenic had said the therapist was getting married, and the therapist wasn't (whether or not there was something else that elevated the therapist's mood)? Then the incident would be shrugged off; since even a professional can think "Crazy people say crazy things." But a hole in one? The therapist is still talking about it...

And that's what the performer supplies. Not the information (obviously the recipient already knows that), but the shared involvement in the moment, and an experience that can be discussed indefinitely. The key secret of cold reading, then, is what every extrovert knows: People love to talk about themselves.

Included in what the fortune teller actually sells you is a socially acceptable framework for the conversation to be all about you, and a pretext for you to talk about yourself to everyone you know or meet in the guise of talking about the fortune teller. To that may be added real bonuses like comfort for the bereaved, reassurance for the anxious, and any other things that people can and do give each other in social interaction.

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