I was talking to a friend of mine who is a licensed spiritual director. I was sharing how hard it is for me to let go of the pain that others share with me. After they leave, it can still stay with me for a timed and then some. She said something that hit home and has helped me a great deal.
“If you carry others in your heart after they leave, their pain and sorrow if it festers, it is helpful neither for you nor for them.”
That was something I needed to hear. It is not an asset when boundaries are weak. People deserve respect and love, not pity and a compulsive desire to save them…which is impossible in any case. We are all vessels of grace for others if we truly allow them to walk their own path, make their own mistakes and perhaps get worse at times. Through it all we are asked to trust in God’s loving plan for all.
Each person has their own struggles, and need support, but no one needs to be carried, or coddled to the point where they don’t move forward. We need to be there for one another without getting into the whole ‘will to power’ thing…..which cause matters to get worse actually…people push back and they should when they feel they are being cornered or talked down to.
To trust in life’s process is not easy and actually counter-intuitive at times.