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The mistake


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#1    markdohle

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 10:06 PM

The mistake

the big mistake often made,
is the underestimation of others,
their intelligence,
depth of feeling,
and yes memory
and strength of emotions.

for some this mistake
will cost them everything,
for some lost joy,
yet for others their very life,
there is always darkness and light,
love and hate,
hot and cold,
in those made in the image of God,
for our burden is this,
that beneath our pain and joy,
deep suffering and memory,
there is freedom,
a small choice that over time takes fruit,
how we treat others often has payment unexpected.


#2    Mikko-kun

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 10:27 PM

I dont know whether I overestimate myself or underestimate others but in any case these are dearly missed words to me. Basic cherisment and taking the value of things to heart, sigh... how we treat others is also a sign of how we treat ourselves I think, but again you say very important words and rest assured I'm not exaggerating.

If you feel the need to argue with others, you dont get free will.
Be what you are. It's up to you.
Leaving everything behind, what are you left with? That which is always inside you. It'll always guide you, if you l
isten.
Nature itself has power no technology in hundred years will replicate. Power to heal you from the inside out. It is holy.

#3    Awake2Chaos

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 10:35 PM

Doesn't estimation have ties to expectations?

I think underestimating someone has its roots in faith; generally speaking if I underestimate in someone's ability to do something, it's because I don't have faith that they will be able or willing to do it.  If they do and prove me wrong, them I am pleasantly surprised.

If I over-estimate, and they don't deliver, then I'm dissapointed.

Which is worse?


#4    Mikko-kun

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 11:32 PM

I think it'd be worse to assume that it's their fault for delivering too much or too little instead of trying to fix/expand our own perspective. We're misinterpreting & misunderstanding others, and the cure for that is to expand our perspective, because it's an oversight on our part.

If you feel the need to argue with others, you dont get free will.
Be what you are. It's up to you.
Leaving everything behind, what are you left with? That which is always inside you. It'll always guide you, if you l
isten.
Nature itself has power no technology in hundred years will replicate. Power to heal you from the inside out. It is holy.

#5    coldethyl

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 09:02 PM

I try not to expect too much from anyone and rely on myself.  It's hard on me, but it means I'm rarely disappointed.


#6    markdohle

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:03 PM

View PostMikko-kun, on 17 March 2014 - 10:27 PM, said:

I dont know whether I overestimate myself or underestimate others but in any case these are dearly missed words to me. Basic cherisment and taking the value of things to heart, sigh... how we treat others is also a sign of how we treat ourselves I think, but again you say very important words and rest assured I'm not exaggerating.

It is true, even if not understood or overlooked, how we treat others does show how we relate to ourselves.  Thank you.

Peace
mark


#7    markdohle

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:05 PM

View PostAwake2Chaos, on 17 March 2014 - 10:35 PM, said:

Doesn't estimation have ties to expectations?

I think underestimating someone has its roots in faith; generally speaking if I underestimate in someone's ability to do something, it's because I don't have faith that they will be able or willing to do it.  If they do and prove me wrong, them I am pleasantly surprised.

If I over-estimate, and they don't deliver, then I'm dissapointed.

Which is worse?

When we know of our own failures, and perhaps why we do them, even if for reasons that are not the best, it is then that we understand the failures of others......at least from my experience.

Peace
Mark


#8    markdohle

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:09 PM

View PostMikko-kun, on 17 March 2014 - 11:32 PM, said:

I think it'd be worse to assume that it's their fault for delivering too much or too little instead of trying to fix/expand our own perspective. We're misinterpreting & misunderstanding others, and the cure for that is to expand our perspective, because it's an oversight on our part.

Thank you, well put.   I will remember this when I struggle with someone, it is ongoing, the leaning unending, and the getting up also an important part of the journey.

peace
mark


#9    markdohle

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:10 PM

View Postcoldethyl, on 18 March 2014 - 09:02 PM, said:

I try not to expect too much from anyone and rely on myself.  It's hard on me, but it means I'm rarely disappointed.

It is true,no matter what we choose, we have to suffer something.

Peace
mark


#10    theotherguy

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:28 PM

Like coldethyl (who seems to have a new profile picture again), I prefer to rely on myself--I don't have to coordinate, rely on, or impress anyone other than myself. Of course, it's almost impossible, and much less interesting, to go through life without connecting to other people. With other people, I try not to pre-judge what they may or may not be capable of until I know them better. It's not always easy, though...

Peace
the other guy

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#11    Vincennes

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 09:42 PM

The thing I try to use as a guide in setting my expectations is sometimes hard to explain to people.  It is that I always try to keep in mind, "Nobody does nothing for nothing."

The first person I apply that to is myself.  What am I doing in this situation that is setting up what I expect from others?  My philosophy is that we want something out of everything we do.  Take even just giving to a charitable campaign. I have tried to explain this to people several times with the response, I don't want anything, I just want to feel good from doing it.  Well, there ya go.

When we do something for someone else, we expect or want them to react in a certain way.  I find I have to let go of that first and expect that they won't be grateful or maybe even acknowledge what I have done.  If I can accept that, then I go ahead and do it.  If I can't, then I try not to.

You can apply it to any situation. If you are working very hard at your job for acknowledgement or promotion and you don't receive the expected reaction, you aren't half as disappointed if you accept that first going into your labor.

I find when I get into problems with my expectations first is when I haven't applied this principle.


#12    coldethyl

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 10:26 PM

View Posttheotherguy, on 06 April 2014 - 10:28 PM, said:

Like coldethyl (who seems to have a new profile picture again),

Least I have one.  :P


#13    theotherguy

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 10:57 PM

True. I'll set one up one of these days...  :ph34r:

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."  --Isaac Asimov

Conspiracy theorists are created by the government to distract us from what they're really doing!!!! Or not.




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