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My brother, a medium? a fraud? or crazy?

fraud medium ghosts spirits mental illness

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#16    theotherguy

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Posted 09 April 2014 - 08:00 PM

I am in no way a medical or psychoanalytical professional, so this is a friendly suggestion more than anything.

How about giving him a spiritual reason to start behaving? Clearly, he believes he is truly being contacted by evil presences. Encourage him to start meditation, prayer (how religious is he?), and other focusing techniques. Get him to join a meditation therapy group. If he's schizophrenic or something similar (my guess), this has been shown to help. If he is being tortured by evil spirits (I highly doubt it), this will fortify his psyche or something.

This sounds way too much like I'm asking you to encourage his problems, but I promise it's not. Just try to approach him from his mindset. Does this make any sense?

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."  --Isaac Asimov

Conspiracy theorists are created by the government to distract us from what they're really doing!!!! Or not.

#17    sea-dove

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Posted 09 April 2014 - 11:43 PM

Quote

3. He does not seem to know whether he is dreaming or awake or not. What I mean by this is he will have a sleep paralysis episode and see a full on physical manifestaion of my mother or some strangers comming right up to him and telling him things like, he is worthless, or he is a failure, he needs to die etc. This is the most frightening because I believe that it is more of a reflection of his inner feelings and I don't want this to progress to something worse. An example of this is one time he said he was awake in bed with the light on but could not move and an old woman in a black dress came out of his closet, walked right up to him and stared at him, he said she had very scary almost glowing eyes and she either disappeared or went back in the closet befor he was able to move again. Another example of this is he said one time he felt like someone was holding him down and an old woman's voice said "this means war" in a very horse and scary almost monstrous voice. Another time it was a guy saying "soon we'll all be dead"

This is typical hypnagogia http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Hypnagogia   .   It rather concerning  thou if he's not realising this and believing everything he's told while in this state!!   and you are correct, its an indication of things going on in his mind (subconciousness).. probably due to his depression  (which can cause one to be thinking of subjects like death and not nice things to be coming in).

I dont think he's crazy but probably just experiencing the above, but it sounds like he needs treatment or something done for his depression to help stop his subconciousness from manifesting in this way to him.  Along with treatment for his alcoholism.  His fantasies of these other stranger things, he could be using as some kind of escape from normal reality, I say this as turning to alcohol is a form of escape too.  Of cause then alcoholism can cause someone to stop looking after themselves well.

Quote

His belief in EVP and "spirit boxes" goes beyond rational, to the point where an obvious car being turned on in the distance or a legit radio transmission on his "spirit box" makes him think he is hearing ghosts. There is no convinceing him otherwise and he tells me I just don't have the ear for it.


Beliefs can do strange things to people  I used to go to a UFO discussion group.. at times we had night outtings .. UFO hunts one could say.  Other then their beliefs (I do myself believe in UFOs), the people were all completely sane.  Out of UFO spotting trips thou, I watch them call satalities going throu the sky, UFOs.. and they'd all get very excited at what was just a satalite!!  (I stopped going on UFO spotting trips as it was all being too ridiculous seeing there was being no lack of good judgement). But anyway.. Im sharing this as its a good example of just what beliefs can do to sane people.

Anyway.. it sounds to me that your brother is a bit like this but his thing is that spirit box making his imagination go wild.

Anyway.. I hope he ends up getting the help he needs for his depression and alcoholism.  Unfortunately there is probably not much you can do as he's not crazy. He needs to want to help himself!  All you can really do is keep an eye on him in case things get worst.

Your brother could be too concerned to see a psych doctor due to his unusual experiences and beliefs even if he knows he should be seeing one.

Edited by sea-dove, 09 April 2014 - 11:51 PM.


#18    Roy Don

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 01:36 AM

Spiritwriter, I don't necessarily want him to become a skeptic but  I don't want him to go around thinking every bump in the night is a ghost and every piece of dust caught on camera is a "spirit orb". I would like him to consider the scientific explanations and possible solutions to common paranormal claims before he jumps to the conclusion that it is a spirit. I often tell him to make sure that it is NOT normal before he calls it paranormal. The one thing he does not believe in is things like cleansing, prayer, etc so he would never do that.

Theotherguy, I actually have been trying to convince him that maybe church is a good idea. Although this conflicts with my personal views on religion, so I feel like a hypocrite doing this, I would rather him attend a church and meet people and put his life experiences and spirituality to good use worshiping a god than fantasizing that ghosts are harassing him.

Seadove, I have  actually showed him that exact link on hypnagogia, and agree with you completely, the problem is, I can scientifically demonstrate something in his presence and show him all the associated proofs and he will say something like "those damn scientists think they know everything!" and "I don't believe your science crap" or "those scientists don't know what the hell they are talking about". I must say, he would make an amazing young earth creationist. Since you mention UFOs, one time we were at the Wendy's drive through, and in broad daylight an obvious plane and cruising altitude flew by in the distance, I thought nothing of it until he jumps out of the car, points directly at it and very loudly proclaims " It's a classic UFO!", by classic he meant saucer shaped, and to this day he swears it was a UFO. This is the type of irrationality he displays on a daily basis.


#19    Jilliman

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 12:37 PM

It also sounds like he may be living in a fantasy world to cope with his unhappiness in life. Could he have a personality disorder? Maybe some things were truly supernatural but now he's believing everything has supernatural to it.

Definitely self esteem issues and general unhappiness in his life. Just be there for him and show him how wonderful he is and how wonderful life can be. It may take a while but if he can see how lovely life can be I bet this will all stop. :)


#20    Roy Don

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 08:26 PM

I guess this is all I can do, I figured as much, but thanks for the reassurance and tips everyone. I guess I should not be trying to dictate what he thinks anyway. I just become worried when he seems this detached from reality.

Edited by Roy Don, 10 April 2014 - 08:27 PM.


#21    sea-dove

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 09:34 PM

 Roy Don, on 10 April 2014 - 01:36 AM, said:

Seadove, I have  actually showed him that exact link on hypnagogia, and agree with you completely, the problem is, I can scientifically demonstrate something in his presence and show him all the associated proofs and he will say something like "those damn scientists think they know everything!" and "I don't believe your science crap" or "those scientists don't know what the hell they are talking about".

Im not surprised to hear about the episode with the plane. As Jilliman said, I think he's using this stuff to set up a fantasy world for himself..  he's doing it as an escape to life stuff (just like he probably uses alcohol to do this).  This is a sign he could really do with a counsellor but unfortunately it is very unlikely you could get him there as he WANTS to be in this state... its taking his focus away from his life issues... a distraction.

I hope he can one day soon come to his senses and seek help on better ways to deal with issues in his life.

Edited by sea-dove, 10 April 2014 - 09:35 PM.


#22    Anton25

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Posted 13 April 2014 - 02:31 PM

Your brother sounds sane to me.. Loads of people see spirits.. Listen and hear things through spirit boxes.. I have seen spirit orbs aswell.. How can a big spherical orb moving about everywhere be dust or a bug.. I think if you are that skeptical about all these things you aren't awake.. You probably more likely have mental illness. Accept the things your brother is saying and leave him to live his life. No psychiatric help is going to change his beleifs


#23    Professor Buzzkill

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Posted 13 April 2014 - 10:33 PM

And if your brother is right? What if he is a medium, should he be force-medicated so all the skeptics feel vindicated that the "crazy-man" is now "normal"?

Oh well, lets all act like we have rights over the life of someone else because they have a different spiritual belief...


#24    Whisperer

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Posted 13 April 2014 - 11:06 PM

Obsession disallows other thoughts to permeate so trapping one in an endless cycle towards self destruction, mainly mental so the solution is to get out and about and mix with others of a similar interest range in sports, entertainment or intellectual pursuits  in order to enable the entertainment of another frame of mind, so allowing for a reprieve in the current mindset.
Reading is good, Sci-Fi, Sword and Sorcery stuff where the introduction of similar yet disparate ideologies could blend in and allow a new train of thought to progress....
Being a mate for any such excursions is critical....

*Edit, fingers not hitting all the type, misspelling....

Edited by WierdHalfling, 13 April 2014 - 11:07 PM.

I be Ra...The river of life, the ebb and flow of summer tides...
Make not an image of me, nor offer unto me the limitations of form...
For I be Soul....and I will not be limited...

#25    simplybill

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 01:49 AM

Just curious why you have a copy of the DSM-IV? You have good writing skills and a good vocabulary for someone expelled from school for skipping class. I'm going to assume you were bored with school, but you respect education, and you have become a self-educated man. That's very commendable.

I suspect that you and your brother have very different memories of your childhood. Your personalities reflect this, with you choosing the military (a social, team-building occupation), and your brother choosing a welding career where he has less contact with the world, while feeling secure behind his welder's mask.

Although you're younger than him, you appear to have taken on the "Big Brother" role toward your brother, and you go into protective mode when he begins to talk irrationally.You mentioned self-esteem at least a half a dozen times, so you know what he's trying to communicate to you. However, the paranormal stuff may just be a smokescreen for his real issues. I'd suggest that you begin making mental notes of what themes (besides the paranormal) your brother repeats during your conversations. He may be throwing out hints that you're missing because the paranormal topics are getting all your attention. Keep in mind, the delusions/encounters he's having all relate to himself as being the center of attention. He may feel a level of comfort in feeling important enough for the "spirits" or "ghosts" to have singled him out for their attention. The self-medication by alcohol may help him suppress the real reasons for his depression and low self-esteem.

I'm assuming you have a gift for counseling, or at least an armchair interest in psychological evaluation. I'd caution you, for now, to do more listening than counseling. It's a possibility that your support for your brother is a self-esteem mechanism for yourself. Make certain that you haven't adopted the Big Brother role in an unhealthy way, where you are the healer and your brother is the needy patient who needs your help. The description you gave of your childhood may indicate a sort of emotional detachment on your part. You described some traumatizing situations that you and your brother reacted to differently. Do some soul-searching to be certain that you aren't hiding some minor PTSD symptoms yourself. The healthier you are, the healthier your support for your brother will be.

Make a note of what your brother says twice during your conversations. Ignore the paranormal topics and concentrate on the "sub-themes". Your brother is naturally reticent to reveal his emotions, and you'll need to dig deep to uncover his true feelings. Don't draw those feelings to his attention, just listen. It may be some time before he feels secure enough to reveal himself. Don't get in the way by "counseling" him.

Forgive me if I've been too presumptious.

Every warrior is happy when his enemies flee before him, but much more blessed is the man to whom his fiercest enemies can come with confidence, knowing beforehand they will be received with love.
Richard Wurmbrand in Reaching Toward the Heights.

#26    Roy Don

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 05:37 AM

Simplybill, To answer your first question, as hard as this may be to believe, it was mistakenly delivered to me when I lived in Japan. It was delivered to my PO box but there was a Japanese name on the envelope. I attempted to return it to our bases storekeeper, but he was careless and lacking of responsibility and he basically said to keep it, because it was too much work to contact the Japanese post office out in town. I took it home, opened the package, and to my surprise it contained 2 books, the DSMIV, and a Japanese language book that I later discovered to be about dream interpretation, I gave the Japanese dream book to my friend, since I only know conversational and cannot read or write the language.

To address the second statement, I have never known myself to be excessively bored at school, but as you said, I do respect education and have self studied and taken various college classes since I dropped out/kicked out and I have always had a lifelong interest in learning.

We do have very different childhood memories. I'll give an example, My brother has always resented my mother a bit, and is of the impression that she is "a b*tch", direct quote btw, but my father is almost his idol, not so much lately since he is now older but he definitely still holds my father in higher regard. I, on the other hand, respect my mother very highly because I remember first hand, her being the one busting her ass to make ends meet while my dad was unemployed for a long while. I remember her taking us to the lake and things of that nature, while my dad would sit at home drinking, I even remember my dad aggressively attacking my mother many times physically, and to this day still, verbally. I remember my mother being the strong one of the family where as my dad for a long time was more of a drain, and is only now becoming a mature adult, starting in his early forties. I do not resent my father and love him dearly, but I do hold him accountable for a his actions, and in a way I think this is why he respects me and treats me like the man that I am, while my brother is treated like a teenager by the whole family. That previous statement makes me feel bad just saying it, but it is absolutely true and unintentional. I know that this treatment he receives, the way he is constantly made to feel inferior, does not help his self esteem, but it is his own fault, because of the way he acts, and his level of maturity when reacting to situations.

I would not say I have any gift for counseling or arm chair psychology, other than an occasional interest. My problem, which I am working on, is that I over analyze everything, and I mean every single thing. I cannot help it, every situation that occurs, my mind tries to figure out what is going on, what the hidden meanings are, what someone's hidden motives are, what did this object use to be, what else can it be used for, who made it, why this choice of material, why this color, was it just a preference or is there some advantageous reason for the color scheme, what color would look good if I repainted it, where should I place it on a shelf, is it even worthy of display, maybe I could sell it, how much could I get, is that a fair price, what is the fair market value, will it be worth more later, am I an honest salesman, how will this affect future transactions that I make, could I actually become a salesman, what could I sell, where will I get it, what id there is a supply shortage, what about getting robbed, should I keep a gun in my store, what if I have to use it, how would I feel, should I feel bad, what if I don't, does that mean I  lack empathy, is self defense always justified, why wouldn't it be, etc, etc, ad infinitum.

I know that last bit was probably a pain in the ass to read due to the lack of question marks, but I hope you get the idea. I don't take the big brother role for any particular reason, it is just personality traits that have made these choices for us. I am serious, confident, assertive, and I try to figure things out, where as my brother is fun-loving, playful, light hearted, but also very shy and unassertive. These traits have made me take the big brother role while my brother does not naturally put himself in that role and actively avoids it.

I feel concern for all my family, however, and I sometimes find myself telling my parents what to do, and often receive a well deserved comment from my dad like, "boy, I lived 55 ******* years, I think I can run my own life." or "I don't know how I managed to stay alive before you were born!". I have a tendency obsess over making sure that my family is happy and healthy, and maybe this stems from some kind of fear of being alone, and without family. since I don't want kids, and I am not married and currently single, I can see that being the case, although I suspect it is more of a natural tendency to want to protect those that you love, and as the youngest, strongest, and healthiest in the family, I feel I am required to play that role. Maybe you can get something out of that, but we just have a really close family and I don't want that to have that destroyed prematurely. I know I turned this into a rant about myself but I am done now.

Edited by Roy Don, 14 April 2014 - 05:38 AM.


#27    6.6.6

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 08:11 AM

Does he or has he used recreational drugs?

99.9% of paranormal claims are either lies, hoaxes, man made tourist attractions or tricks of the mind!
And the other .1% are up for debate

#28    Roy Don

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 09:16 AM

 6.6.6, on 14 April 2014 - 08:11 AM, said:

Does he or has he used recreational drugs?

Besides the alcohol, I would say occasional pot use. This is only because he has difficulty procuring it, and he would never make an actual drug deal so he relies on a friend to do it. He has tried codeine and sprite, but went blind for like an hour, thankfully when something scares him, he avoids it like the plague. I gave him some of my Gin once and he got so sick that he won't touch liquor, and only drinks beer, however he drinks about 4 40 oz of Steel Reserve a day, and spends every waking moment that he is not working getting drunk.


#29    Frank Merton

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 09:30 AM

Alcoholism, depression, diabetes and schizophrenia, and I missed a few others.   Poor guy.


#30    Roy Don

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 09:55 AM

 Frank Merton, on 14 April 2014 - 09:30 AM, said:

Alcoholism, depression, diabetes and schizophrenia, and I missed a few others.   Poor guy.
Alcoholism for sure, highly likely depression, we suspect diabetes, but cannot get him to go to a doctor, Schizophrenia is only a theory for his constant ghost sightings and communications, I suspect he is just making it up for attention, but maybe he is seeing something and is not sick?






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