Testimony of Fabienne « I Was in Hell »
“My illumination of conscience”
The peace of Jesus be with you!
Beloved brothers and sisters, I come to witness today that Christ brought me back to life.
My parents had me baptised a few days after my birth. I followed all the catechism classes and I made my First Communion.
My mother, a holy woman, taught me to pray every night. However, after my communion, I no longer attended the Catholic Church until 1996, on which
date Jesus came to save me. I was 32 years old.
I will tell you a bit about the life that I led all those years, far from Jesus.
As soon as I turned 15, my life took a reversal. I began to smoke, frequented filthy bars, participated in card readings, practiced numerology, wrote to astrologers. When I finished my school studies, I spent all the week-ends in discoteques smoking hashish, drinking alcohol; I wore mini-skirts and designer clothes and, without guilty feelings, I frolicked with the men I met. I was searching for Love with a capital L.
Satan was keeping me bound and prevented me from turning towards the love of Christ. He blinded me with what men could give me: pleasure of the flesh, money, wellbeing and the world. I was under his hellish bindings, but I needed somebody to take much care of me yet I wanted to die without love. I was suicidal and self-destructive after having sustained much wickedness in my youth and satan, in his cruelty, poisoned my painful wounds.
It was during an evening in a nightclub that I met a man and, at the end of a few months, we decided to live common law. I did not know that if I had sexual relations while I was not married in the Church that my soul was uniting with impure spirits. At the end of 5 years, I left him and I moved to another city in which I made the acquaintance of an astrologer and a Rosicrucian of AMORC.
The astrologer proposed that I have my karmic astrological theme done and I accepted! She explained to me that it consisted of studying my astrological theme based on my previous lives and studying my karma!
Sometime later I went to a spirit centre to listen to the teachings of a guru whom I found in a book that I studied, named « The Gospel According to Spiritism » by Allan Kardec.
One day this guru proposed to those who wished to participate, on Wednesday evening, in live seances of spiritism and due to my innocence, I accepted. And there, I began to see mediums who entered trances, who received messages from so-called Curate of Ars, Saint Theresa of the Child Jesus or still the Mother of God, even sometimes The Lord Jesus-Christ plus extra terrestrials! Had I known that these were fallen spirits that delivered these messages, I would have left this spirit centre right away.
And then, one Wednesday evening, the guru proposed to those who wished it, have a great cleansing of the soul!
I suffered greatly in my interior, but at that moment, I did not know that it consisted of accumulated sins that were oppressing me. I thought that this interior suffering was due to the karma that I would have accumulated in my so called previous lives since I believed in reincarnation.
Believing that the guru had the power to free me of my previous lives, I accepted his proposal and sat next to him. He was serving the demon and, by accepting to give myself to his power, I allowed the demon to take possession of me.
The evil spirits had penetrated me because of my errant ways: card reading, pendulum, astrology, horoscope, palm reading, initiation to yoga, adoration of Buddha, esoteric meditation, opening to chakras, chi gong, etc....
The guru had laid his hand on two of my chakras with the powers he acquired from the demon. The chakra of the heart and the chakra of the third eye!
Then he told me that he had transmitted light to me. But unfortunaltely, it was the light of God's enemy.
Then, I went home and began to feel ill. At the next spirit seance, I lived through a very difficult experience. The kundalini arose.
The kundalini is a powerful energy lodged in the sacrum bone at the base of the back. When it is aroused, it climbs along the spine and works its way from (chakra)center to center right up to the coronary chakra located above the head.
During this experience, I had the impression that I was raptured to heaven such was the power of this energy.
What I had not understood at that moment was that by the practicing of yoga and of the kundalini, I gave power to satan to enter into me and lead me from the interior. I did not know that the practice of yoga could open the door of my soul to evil spiritual entities. Yoga is not a simple practice. It belongs to a true religion from which it is hard to separate oneself. It made me adore divinities that had spiritual functions. I learned from a priest who is knowledgeable on these questions, that yoga is a Hindu practice that unites the temporal me « JIVA » to « BRAHMAN » the infinite, the Hindu conception of God.
This god is presented as an impersonal spiritual substance. It is not Jesus-Christ, the personal God of Revelation. By invoking strange deities that do not exist, I risk in reality to enter into contact with demons and submit myself to them. I then realised that by practicing yoga, I was adoring a god other than the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit and consequently, I was breaking God's first commandment: «You shall not have gods other than Me. »
So, feeling more and more sick, I decided to abandon these techniques and since I opened myself to the chakras, I was between life and death for many long months and if I am alive today, I can say thank you to Jesus.
My thirst for knowledge not being quenched yet, I joined the Rosicrusians AMORC and I quickly began to receive small booklets for study.
In this Order I studied different things such as the psychic body of man, stellar travelling, human aura, chakras, vocal sounds, mantras...
Throughout these studies, I sought to know and understand the god of my heart that we called « The Cosmic One ». But I understood nothing of this false god and its energies. Imagine what kind of love relationship I had with that god! None! No loving heart to heart as I can now live out with Jesus of love in the Eucharist.
In my research into New Age that does not come from God, I practiced magnetism, telepathy, pendulum, all kinds of magic, hypnosis, New Age breathing, aura reading, all forms of healing through energies, crystals, music and colours , meditations on New Age music and reiki which the bishops of the USA warned against. In my body I experienced that satan had placed his energy within me with his power and I began to tremble.
In the Rosicrucian Order, I met a man who was alone for many years because his wife had left him for another man. A few months later, we decided to get a civil marriage. We could not get married in the Catholic Church because he had previously received the sacrament of marriage.
And here comes a blast of grace! While looking at a poster of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I heard His voice that said to me: « My holy wounds will save you »! The wounds of His painful Passion. Soon after, during a pilgrimage to Medjugorje, I accepted to be reinstated in the Catholic Church. Here I am, so little, bearing my great misery before the Blessed Sacrament that was exposed, the real presence of the living Jesus, body, blood, soul and divinity.
Upon my return to France, God gave me a first supernatural experience in the midst of which He asked me to do penance.
He showed me my soul enclosed inside the Beast that had the head of a Lion as described in the Apocalypse. I saw the demons that surrounded me and were ready to take me with them to the place of darkness. These demons were linked to each other in my sins.
When I began to scan more deeply into my soul, I saw myself as a hyena as I descended in the abyss, into the crater of fire, blaspheming and feeling hate towards God like the damned who live as in a beehive so great is the noise. In that place, in my soul I lived in a state of complete insanity. That is how all the damned live for all of eternity. They suffer for each of the sins that they committed, which is what makes for their insanity.
The state of my soul was the consequence of my disobedient acts towards the Law of God and satan told me in his fury: « I condemned you to the punishment of hell ». I did not know that satan was burning in hell and wanted everybody to burn with him. His hatred had penetrated me. I saw how satan and his fallen angels with the damned were attacking souls at the level of their heart and their brain so as to destroy them. The worst is that I heard my soul saying: satan, I love you! It was truly horrible! I was a rotting demon!
You know, I was a worldly woman, seductress, courtesan and dominatrix. I would say that I was a liberated woman but in fact I was chained to Lucifer. My rebellion had begun while listening to rock music, the Beatles, ACDC and the spirits of this evil music had entered in me... and I said everywhere:
« Peace and love ». I used these words with some of my hippie friends. My interior rebellion led me to be in favour of homosexuality, divorce, living common law, abortion.
At that moment, I had not been made conscious that I was a great persecutor of the law of Christ, but you know that I was bound by the abyss and I could not react otherwise. It is satan's light, which is nothing other than darkness, that lived within me. If my mother had not prayed a lot and had not made sacrifices for my soul, at this time I would always be blinded by the light of Lucifer. Fasting and prayer helped me a lot.
Then I heard the enemy of God speak to the Blessed Virgin whom he fears terribly. Speaking about souls he said: « I hold them all, I will have them all» and I also heard that he holds many priests (because they do not do penance and no longer pray). If the demon succeeds in damning a priest with a woman, he then rejoices because during that time, the priest no longer accomplishes his duty which is to save souls. Woe to these women who turn priests away from their vocation! They are already under God's justice and the torments of hell await them if they do not repent! If you only knew how the Blessed Virgin sheds tears because she sees the Beast engulf more and more souls. So she sheds many tears of blood.
Satan leads souls to condemnation through love of the world, of money, of the flesh and New Age.
Personally, I was condemned to eternal rape in hell by him if I had not repented of my sins of the flesh when I lived common law or when I was married to a man who was divorced. I will speak to you about this later. At that particular moment of my life, I did not know that God forbad sexual relations, except within marriage in the Church in order to have children.
God allows me to hear the devil within my interior and to know his evil intentions so that I can reveal these to my brothers and sisters for their salvation.
The devil told me that he is the one who provided sexual pleasure. He always tries to rape me or give me pleasure through very strong interior temptations, but he does not succeed because I asked the Blessed Virgin to keep my soul from pleasure and it is thanks to the scapular of Mount Carmel that the Blessed Virgin protects me.
Rape by the devil or demons, is a chastisement of hell for all the souls who do not regret sinning through the flesh.
Personally, I should have atoned for all eternity if I had not repented of my mockeries. I was very proud.
So the Blessed Virgin asked me to do penance for laughing as I used to laugh about things that offended God.
Saint Faustina Kowalska in her Little Journal said that she was introduced to the depths of Hell by an Angel. It is a place of great torments. And it is of great extent.
The types of suffering that she saw:
- The first suffering that constitutes hell is the loss of God.
- The second is perpetual remorse of the conscience.
- The third is that one’s condition will never change.
- The fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without destroying it - a terrible suffering, since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit by God’s anger.
- The fifth torture suffering, is continual darkness and a terrible suffocating smell and, despite the darkness, the devils and the souls see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own.
- The sixth suffering is the constant company of Satan.
- The seventh torture is horrible despair, the hatred of God, curses and blasphemies.
These are tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls. These are the torments of the senses.
Each soul undergoes terrible and indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another.
Sister Faustina said that she would have died at the sight of these terrible sufferings, if the Almighty Power of God had not sustained her and she added: Let each sinner know that he will be tortured for eternity in the senses by which he will have sinned.
If you only knew the hatred Satan has towards each one of us and towards God and priests, it is terrible. God revealed to me: « Reverence my priests ».
Priests are the apple of the eye of Jesus. Without priests, nobody could get to heaven as it is they only who give us the sacraments which open the Life of Christ within us and grant us His forgiveness.
After these moments of intense horror, Jesus pulled me from the abyss by taking me to Him and I felt His power take me out of this state of darkness, in which I was terrified of everything.
God, in His great goodness, consoled me and told me with great charity:
« You are Mine ». 'Think of Me only', 'Think of loving Me only', « I will heal you ». « You bathe in My Blood » 'I created you with My Hands'. 'Give Me great love and sin no more'. 'No longer sell your soul to the devil' 'No longer betray Me' 'I am your only master'. 'I am the Way, the Truth and the Life'. 'No longer remain far from Me'. 'Listen to My word, observe My commandments, observe My sabbaths, it is to say the Day of The Lord'.
As for the commandments of God, I knew that there were ten but no more than that. So I took the Bible, I read about them and after getting to know them, I discovered that since the age of fifteen I had been living in the state of very grave sin and some of these were mortal sins. Then Jesus told me: « Defend My law ». And it is what I have been doing since 1996. In order to serve Him well, the Holy Spirit told me that He gave me the charism of Truth!
Then, I went back to the one to whom I was to be wed and explained to him that we had to live in chastity until the civil wedding. A few months went by and we got married at the town hall. Two days after the wedding, I left the wedding chamber because Jesus came to remove me by telling me: « Obey Me ». « I ask for reparation; your sin offended Me ». « Submit to Me My Daughter ». and He showed me the demons to whom I was bonded because of my sin of adultery.
Imagine my despair! It was impossible for me to think that I could live without a man. I needed to be protected... I had just married so as to begin a home and a family but God told me at that moment that it was forbidden to procreate because I did not receive the sacrament of marriage.
The following morning I looked for a priest confessor who received me charitably and I explained what God was asking of me. The priest confirmed that we had to live as brother and sister and he added that I could receive communion only if I lived in chastity. Then he explained that divorce does not dissolve Church marriage and that my husband remained married before God to his lawful wife till death do them part, even if she had rebuilt her life (now living with another person). What God has bound, man cannot separate!
I know very well that God will demand accounts from this woman. God told me that He cries over unfaithful women. This woman who left her husband will be told by God during her particular judgement: « Woman, what have you done with your husband? » Had she prayed to God, He would have had them reconcile, but her heart was hardened. You know that if a woman does not forgive her husband or leaves him, her soul is in the abyss. However, the Church does allow for bodily separation, but not divorce.
Brothers and sisters, who are we to not forgive while God forgave his executioners from the Cross? How do you expect to be reunited with your enemies in heaven if, on earth, you do not love them? You know, God told me: « If you want Me to forgive you, forgive others, as He taught us in the prayer 'Our Father' ». And I was truly liberated when I forgave everybody, when I had masses celebrated for my persecutors, when I prayed for those who injured me...
After leaving the priest, back at home, I began to feel much distress because I had to speak to my husband who had become my brother in just a few hours and who accepted the situation with much difficulty, but he accepted it anyway because the salvation of his soul was at stake.
I then explained to him that I was going to leave the Rosicrucian Order AMORC.
Convinced that I was on a deep erroneous path, I began to tear up into small pieces all the books by Rosicrucian authors, all the books on numerology, palm reading, card reading, books on spiritism by Allan Kardec and Leon Denis and the New Age books such as those by H. Blavatsky or A. Bailey or still those about occult sciences. I got rid of them because as long as they remained at my place, the demons lived there as well. Once the Blessed Virgin was enthroned at home, calm returned to my household. I replaced all my old books with books such as the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Lives of Saints, the Revelations of Souls in Purgatory, the Saints of the Catholic Church and I was very moved.
I experienced great interior suffering because of my numerous sins. I began, moved by the Holy Spirit, to have masses celebrated for my soul in order to regain peace. During the celebration of these masses, the Holy Spirit would again awaken my conscience to all the sins I committed since my childhood . When I decided to go and see a priest, the devil who was furious told me: « Go to hell ». So I rushed to the church and the devil pursued me, saying: « You are forgiven, you are forgiven ».
But I knew very well that if I confessed directly to God without going through the priest, I could never enter heaven and I knew that if I did not enter the confessional, I would not be freed of my sins by the Church , the only one that has this power. So I held firm. The demon left me and the priest received me with great charity but he was lightly surprised to see that I had in my hand sheets of paper on which I noted all my sins. I had written them so as to not forget them.
Then I began to recite my sins without looking the priest in the eyes because I was very ashamed at that moment. I did not yet know that Jesus was present in the priest so as to take me in His arms and wash me in His precious Blood. So I buried my head in my papers and I read from my notes .
I confessed all about which I have spoken to you (civil marriage, common law, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, belief in reincarnation, New Age...) and I added, speaking softlty: « I committed many sins of the flesh: I took the pill, I wore mini-skirts and made men sin with their gazing, I had words and thoughts that were impure and uncharitable, I did not go to mass on Sunday, I led a friend to have an abortion in a clinic, I committed many sins of gluttony, I did not pray, I did not share with the poor, I had many idols who were artists and pop stars, I saw X-rated films, scary films, I read evil books, and I also added all the capital sins that I committed such as pride, greed, envy, anger, lust, gluttony, sloth. »
The priest listened to me with patience and charity and since then, I have been going to confession regularly.
I then went before the tabernacle for my penance and there Jesus told me with all His Fatherly Love: « Your sin is erased ». What a grace!
Yes, brothers and sisters, Jesus erased my sins. My troubles, He consumed them. My weakness, He sustained it as long as I remain very poor in my interior.
After the many receptions of the sacrament of reconciliation, I met many priests who administered prayers of exorcism over my esoteric studies and I often received the sacrament of healing as I was in a critical state due to my opening to chakras and the action of satan who had destroyed my interior.
The various sacraments helped me to heal and I was so much attracted to Jesus that I would spend my afternoons close to the tabernacle in a church.
During these times, I began to make the Stations of the Cross every day for the release of souls in purgatory. God asked me to continue this work of mercy and He explained that purgatory is His Mercy and hell His Justice and I understood that many souls were lost. So I told God: « But it is You Lord who condemned these souls that are in hell? » and He answered: «The souls condemned themselves ». As the apostle James said in his epistles: « It is our sin that tempts us, not God ».
God does not condemn, He leaves the soul free to love Him or to love satan! God is Love!
So I told myself that I would consecrate my life to praying for the salvation of all the souls. Jesus encouraged me to do so. One day He told me at 15 hours (3.00 p.m.). « Implore my mercy on the souls. Pray to Me through my Passion ». And as I suffered, knowing that many of my friends were far from the Church, Jesus told me: « Never cease praying to Me for them » and I assure you that I will never cease praying because I love them and because I know the suffering of the souls in hell since I had lived that for a brief instant myself.
For two years, I spent all my afternoons near Jesus in a church close to my home and at night I would return home to the gentleman with whom I was living : we lived together as brother and sister.
Then one day, while listening to a tape on the life of Saint Francis of Assisi, I was deeply touched by his extreme poverty.
With my first spiritual father, a Dominican priest, we decided that I would leave home; that I would divorce since my marriage was not one before God, so that I could proceed with the Catholic Church and so I entered the Clarist Order of Sisters; I was cloistered. It was a time of grace. At the end of fifteen months, I left the monastery and I answered God's call who asked me to serve Him and to witness to His Mercy.
With great charity, Jesus asked me to offer my life to Him and before such great love I accepted as heaven was asking me to refuse nothing to God.
For lodging, I returned to my parents' and I began to work with many editors at recording conferences that I gave on the Holy Spirit, on the souls in purgatory, on the apparitions recognised by the Catholic Church, on the dangers of New Age, on the Eucharist, on the lives of saints, on the the message of Merciful Jesus to Saint Faustina.
You surely know the words of Merciful Jesus:
I am offering people a vessel with which they are to keep coming for graces to the fountain of mercy. That vessel is this image with the signature: « Jesus, I trust in You. » (PD 327)
« By means of the Image I shall be granting many graces to souls; wo, let every soul have access to it » (PD 570)
« I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish. I also promise victory over its enemies already here on earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My own glory. » (PD 48)
« The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls rigtheous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls... These two rays issued forth from the very depth of My Mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross .» (PD 299)
Personally, I try to recite the Divine Mercy chaplet every day at 15 hours (3.00 p.m.) because Jesus promised this: « Even if there was a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from my Infinite Mercy. » (PD 687)
He also said: « It pleases Me to grant everything they ask of Me by saying the chaplet (PD 1541) if what you ask for is compatible with My Will (PD 1731) ».
During a conference on the Divine Mercy, I met a man who had never married.
Quickly, we got engaged at the church and remained chaste but two months before the wedding, we separated because it was not the person that I needed. God had told me beforehand, twice « I want you body and soul », but you know, I resisted Him a lot before surrendering to His Divine Will! He also said to me: « Let Me decide your eternal salvation ». So I let the Divine Mercy direct my soul so as to save it, but because of my own free will, I was once again heading toward the eternal fires of hell. I therefore submitted to God in agreement with my spiritual father. The Blessed Virgin invited me to no longer leave a place for man in my heart and so I took a vow of chastity, heart to heart with Jesus of Love, before the Blessed Sacrament exposed.
And here it is that God gave me another mystical experience !
My soul found itself in a deserted place. I was on some kind of a platform and there was a path.
I advanced on that path and found myself before a sea of fire in which there were souls. I saw a hole with a crackling fire inside. There were a lot of flames. And then I found myself in a dark place dangling on a wall while great streams of light beamed down from heaven.
The damned were angry and very threatening when I was looking at them and they told me: « We hate you. » Their hate burned me and their disdain wounded my heart.
Upon his death, the guru who had opened the chakras descended into this place of darkness. His soul was lost for eternity, because he refused Jesus. He freely wanted to remain in his pride and he did not regret his faults. So God abandoned him to himself. God flees proud souls. He told me that He loves little souls, humble souls!
God showed me that the soul of the guru that was damned by God for having much offended Him without repenting, was working in my soul to tempt me every second. I hear him and satan cry when they cannot get to make me yield to the temptations that they continually send me for the loss of my soul. He does everything to damn me. The Blessed Virgin told me that I had to resist the diabolical suggestions to which I have often yielded. It is thanks to the sacrament of confession that I can still be in His mercy.
I have nothing against this damned soul for enticing me into temptations because I know very well that it is the duty of all the souls that are damned. They want to know nothing, neither about us nor about God! They would change neither their sufferings nor their pain in order to go to heaven! Their mission is hatred, destruction, lack of love. It is a torment that will never end. It is a devouring fire that devours their entrails. But they are damned by God because they did not want to love Him. They drag all the souls that they can into this place where hatred, destruction are always present! Everything is but bitterness and their mission is to destroy the souls.
You know, if God had allowed a thorn in my flesh as for Saint Paul, it is so that I will fight and become a saint. His grace is sufficent to me!
I noticed that there are certain souls on this earth in the state of darkness, I had warned them to repent but they did not. And while alive, some mocked what I told them. So, God in a strong tone, told me: « No longer bother with them » and I understood how they will confront the Justice of God at the moment of their judgement. And that is what went on!
Above me, there was purgatory, the flames were very high. The souls that were in this state of purification are united to the Divine Will. Their greatest suffering is to not yet be able to see God face to face. They saw Him during their particular judgement, in a light that is not yet that of heaven and so they kept a nostalgia for God, but they do not want to appear before Him with their stains. They are being purified and repair what they did not repair when on earth and many of them learn to love.
I prayed for them and in turn, they prayed for the wretched person that I am and together, as a communion of saints, we helped each other to obtain more light so as to move closer to God without fear and without blemish. And Jesus said to me: « I want you to be closer to Me », then He added: « Continue your work of mercy » (by praying for them). The souls in purgatory have become my beloved sisters, but I do not speak to them because God does not allow it. I simply pray for them to help me in my mission of evangelization.
I saw many white steps that I quickly climbed and when I arrived at the top of this big white staircase, a man dressed in red opened the door to me and then he withdrew. I immediately entered an ocean of peace where I strongly felt the presence of God the Father. He was the Source. It was a benevolent Father, filled with love and peace. His presence flooded this ocean of peace. God the Father is very gentle and very loving and He told me without my being able to see Him: « I am a Father full of love for My children ».
Myself, who believed that God was only a whipping father, I finally became conscious of His great holiness and even if God is Love, Mercy and Justice, His greatest attribute remains that of Mercy and He told me: « God is above all a Father ». So I call Him « Father Love », « Dear Father » and I threw myself in His arms of love. And then I followed the path of spiritual childhood. God thinks only of healing us and binding our wounds. God is Love as the apostle Saint John taught it.
I then saw Jesus in heaven surrounded with a golden light. It was very beautiful. My soul felt a great peace and a great desire to come close to Him. I would have liked to remain near the Son of God, I felt so good. Jesus asked me to cry with Him for the poor sinners. He told me with great compassion: « Cry My daughter for the salvation of the souls ».
In this spiritual experience, I carried within me all the sins that I had not yet confessed, which made me suffer a lot. To mitigate this, I confess every week so that I will not have to confront them at the particular judgement of my soul at the hour of my death.
God opened my interior and made me see that before I returned to Him, I was refusing His Mercy, my heart was hardened and He told me: « I cannot enter a heart that is hard and proud ». He made me see all the thoughts that were not in His Love, all my participation in evil, all my evil feelings, my criticisms and judgements about others and He told me: « Keep yourself from judging somebody. Do not accuse them. » You know, I used to accuse everybody. Then He told me: « Do not judge them ». I assure you that I was an expert in the field.
It was the wounds of life that had made me bitter toward my brothers and sisters and God made me see that I was not better than Judas! So He told me: « You have to love », and it is only after sixteen years of continued suffering and persecutions that Jesus transformed my demoniac soul into an apostle for His glory and He asked me to imitate Him and to do like Saint Paul by travelling like him.
I was often afraid of persecutions. So God told me: « Keep away from fear! » It is true that all my enemies were crushed at the feet of Christ. Every time I go to a different country, the Holy Spirit takes all my fears and all my anguish, so much so that I feel nothing but peace, the Peace of Christ!
When God opened my interior, I saw and relived all the evil I had done to my neighbour and I have suffered much.
So I cried out to God and told Him: « Jesus, have mercy on me. Have mercy on the great sinner that I am », and He answered me: « You are My Joy » and I told Him: « All the people that I caused to stumble in my life, from now on, I will pray for them and have masses celebrated so that one day we will be reunited in paradise ». And so there, like Zaccheus, salvation entered my soul!
I then gave Jesus of love all my bad choices and their consequences and He Himself came to repair my own errors of the road of life with His graces and His love. God is Love with a capital L. You know, human love is but a pale reflection of Divine Love, just like human tenderness is but a pale reflection of Divine Tenderness. And I again called to Him by telling Him: «Heal me Jesus, heal me, Father of love ».
And to say that I was telling Jesus that He did not love me enough! Immediately He answered: « You cannot imagine to what extent I love you. I call you to Holiness, I call you to love Me! Meditate on My Passion! » And there, I finally understood all His Love and while reading the writings of Saint Bridgid, I learned that He had endured 5480 beatings during His painful Passion! What love of the creator for His creature.
It is the Blessed Virgin who greatly helped me to get closer to God. One of the first times that she spoke to me, she told me: « My Son died because of your sins » and then she told me: « You do not love the Cross enough ». then she taught me to accept martyrdom, she taught me silence, surrender, and formed me for my spiritual life. I thank her also because she freed me from all the demons that oppressed me while praying the rosary.
I made a covenant with the Blessed Virgin during a mass and that is why in Her honour I wear a ring on my finger and in addition to my consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I freely donned the scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, and through her grace the Blessed Virgin Mary protects me from many dangers.
I who, through esoterism, have known a cosmic god ,and an energy god, can testify that it is in the Catholic Church that I met a God of tenderness ,a God whose heart melts with love for each one of us. I who believed that the Church is an old institution with rigorous dogmas, I also believe that the Church is Holy and is Love with a capital L and that without the priests, I could not enter heaven. So the Catholic Church has become like a benevolent mother to me and I understood all the Love of Jesus who placed its foundation on Peter, the first Pope, and when I looked at Pope Francis, I saw in him all the Love of Christ for his children. I saw in him the Love of a Father and I began to love the Church very much and to pray for it and its consecrated ones.
Many times Jesus of Love made me learn the depth of His heart into which I had been transported in order to rest in His exquisite tenderness and His unequaled sweetness.
To thank Jesus for His goodness, I recite the rosary daily because He promised me that through the prayer of the rosary, He would save me and He added: « I pray for your liberation » and I understood that God was in me to fight against the power of the serpent. I also pray the chaplet of Saint Michael the Archangel to the 9 choirs of angels, and finish my day of prayers by reciting often this small fruitful prayer that is an act of love: « Jesus, Mary I love you, save souls ». God promised Sister Consolata Bretone that each time we recite this prayer from the heart « JESUS, MARY, I LOVE YOU, SAVE SOULS » a soul is saved for eternity.
You know, I told Jesus: « I give you my 'Yes' because I would so much like for all the souls to know Your burning heart with love. I give You all my past choices and their consequences so that You, The Love, can burn them in Your Fire of tenderness and in the flames of Your Mercy ».
I have experienced the sweetnes of the Heart of Jesus by receiving communion of the Body of Christ.
Since I know the importance of Holy Mass, I participate in it every day and I have great respect for the ministers of God to whom this greatest power has been given with the sacrament of Ordination...! Their hands are purified by the Light of God even before transsubstantiation occurs.
Jesus, the Son of God, is really present in the Sacred Host, and it is only in Heaven that we will understand this miracle...
The Eucharist is the fastest way to come to Jesus...
No one in Heaven is as close to Jesus as we are, when we receive Him within us...
Brothers and sisters, we have Heaven before us, all of Heaven is contained in that small piece of Bread...
« ...Whoever nourishes oneself with the Body and Blood of Christ, is fed with the fullness of the Supreme Being and becomes a reflection of Him. The beauty of such a soul ravishes the angels of Heaven who marvel at the Almighty Power of the Most High and of His Love for the souls... »
... The soul that receives Jesus radiates in itself His Love and His Light.
... The Eucharist is Supreme Magnificence, Grace of graces, Gift of the gifts of Heaven. We can also contemplate this explanatory word of the Curate of Ars who tells us:
« The soul that receives communion regularly with the Body of Christ, upon its entry into Heaven, God the Father cannot refuse to greet it because He sees in it the Face of His Son ».
« Let us profit of these graces that the Father grants us, they are our halo of Holiness... »
Jesus wishes to fill our hearts that thirst, for Happiness... Joy... Peace... He takes pleasure in the souls enamoured with The Love... Jesus is in those souls. They are His during that brief moment of adoration... In the Eucharist, the souls belong to Jesus and will remain so...
« Jesus is the Whole One who offers Himself to the world. He gives Himself fully so that we can receive Him fully... »
By receiving Him in oneself, we receive the Sacred One, the Son of God who died and resurrected.
As says Saint Francis of Assisi: « Keep for yourself nothing of yourself, so that you can receive in His entirety The One who gave Himself to you entirely »
Let us often desire to have Jesus; the Eucharist is a marvelous gift of Heaven, Jesus is the food for our soul.
We grow in perfection because Jesus is perfection itself. Christ wants us to become a living icon of Himself. That is what happens in a diligent soul; never has a creature on earth been so close to God as in the Holy Eucharist.
When we receive the Holy Eucharist, something happens in our body and in our soul, like a dazzlement of our entire being which little by little divinizes our human nature.
During this space of time, we become perfect because God is in us and we are in Him.
After every Eucharist, let us pray that its effects will multiply and be prolonged in us eternally. Thus, God can more rapidly establish His permanent home in our heart.
Here is, dear brothers and sisters, the testimony of a poor soul, very weak, very miserable, that God consecrated in order to serve Him, glorify Him and honour Him and to not serve and glorify myself.
I never learned theology, but the Spirit of God taught me and told me: « Awaken your brothers ».
So I witness in and out of season for many years in many countries and islands where I am invited, with the help of my guardian angel.
Since I have known what hell is and its tortures and since I have lived it in my soul, I wish the salvation of all the souls, without exception, for the good ones and evil ones for whom I have masses celebrated,and for whom I pray and fast. God asked me to make many sacrifices for my brothers and sisters of love and to cry with Him for their salvation.
When I will appear before God for my particular judgement of my soul, I will have to answer for the conversion of the souls that I have encountered during my evangelization throughout the world. These souls, by the thousands, have been called by God, from country to country, to come and listen to my testimony and if you are there today, it is that we will be reunited in heaven some day.
Dear brothers and sisters, you will all, at the hour of your death, appear before God for your judgement. That is why my testimony will help you to gain more light.
God's Mercy can change all the hearts. You know, my heart was sick and God healed it. I told Him: « Lord Jesus, my Saviour and my God, I want to live my purgatory on earth so that, at my death, You will take me into Your Sacred Heart ».
So let us have faith and tell Jesus: « Jesus, I trust in You ». If God healed the world's greatest sinner that I am, then everybody can be saved. No sin will exhaust the great Mercy of God and the more we draw from it, the more it swells. The greater the sinner, the more he has the right to God's Mercy!
I have written five booklets about my conversion that have been approved by the Catholic Church (imprimatur and nihil obstat). You can read them on my website.
This, dear friends is the testimony of a miserable soul that knows it is loved by God and that has become the spouse of Christ through the total gift of her life. I travel throughout the world for the greater glory of Jesus because He asked me to do so! And even if I do not feel like traveling, I do it for love of Him who offered His life for me and who invited me to imitate Him and to travel through the world as did Saint Paul.
Do you know why Christ chose me to be a witness of His Mercy? Because on earth, He did not find a greater and more miserable sinner that me. I was a hypocrite, liar, envious... But Christ called me to go around the world for the salvation of souls! That is why He healed me so as to glorify Him and He called me to make Him be loved, by me, so greatly wounded by life!
Dear brothers and sisters, I love as Jesus loves you... to distraction and I need your love. Help Jesus because He suffers greatly and He cries for the world.
Praised be Jesus-Christ and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Edited by Daughter of the Nine Moons, 19 April 2014 - 05:11 PM.