Kathleen Meadows: I'm often asked, "Is this person my soul mate?" After reading for clients for more than thirty years, you would think I'd be used to that question by now but the truth is that it always flummoxes me. "What does that mean to you?" I ask. It does mean different things to everyone who asks it. Aside from the obvious that my soulmate is by definition not yours, everyone has a characteristic that they believe will be embodied in their particular soulmate. It might be physical (height, weight, colouring), personality (serious, quiet, risk-taking), spiritual (religion) or intellectual (education, aspirations). In any case, most I speak with are confident their soulmate will be attractive to them and of course attracted to them equally, passionately.
During the honey moon period or a relationship ( 60-90 days ) the individual is a blank canvas, and we imbue them with the traits we find most desirable. It is also at this time when the relationship is fresh, new and exciting that we think we have our perfect match. But as time goes on, all of a sudden the traits we gave to our perfect soul mate start to fade as their actual personality traits start to emerge replacing those traits we found desirable with some that we may not find so becoming. This is very common trait among most of us.
The idea of a "soul mate" is intellectually bankrupt. It has no basis in fact. For most of recorded history, marriages were arranged, the people getting married had no say in the matter. Yet many came to love each other.
If you're waiting for a "soul mate", you will be sorely disappointed. Of course many people fall for this scam and resort to desperate measures to find that perfect person; mediums, palm readers, tarot card readers and other charlatans.