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People who don't fall in love? Why?

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#16    Ryu

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 05:00 PM

 willowdreams, on 01 May 2014 - 01:52 PM, said:


I do not want nor desire a 'partner'. Period. No and's if's or buts'.

I have zero desires to be in love.

I am soo happy not to be answering to anyone. I love jumping into my bed when I want to and not worrying about disturbing another. I like not having to include someone else in my plans. I read when and what I want, i watch on tv, what I want, when I want.. I go to bed when I want.


I feel the same way except that I don't "love" people.
I was never interested in any relationships including friends; I never dated when I was in school and had no friends either.
Am I lonely? Nope. I like doing things by myself and doing what I want, when I want and not having to ask for permission or approval.

I like peace and solitude, I mean, I don't wanna live in the sticks but when I go home I want to be by myself and if I desire contact I know where to go for it but otherwise, I am solitary.

So one reason some people never fall in love is because they are just not interested in that kind of relationship.


#17    Forever Cursed

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 06:26 PM

Or maybe a Borderline personality disorder. (Personality disorders can vary from mild to severe.)

Borderlines love love - they are obsessed by it and will do anything to ensure they get it. To them it is a means of filling up their loneliness and lack of Self through another person rather than an expression of regard or caring for someone as an equal partner.
While their need for love is apparent they don't know how to return love. In reality they are afraid of intimacy and do not have the emotional strength to fight their fears of inadequacy or abandonment in a manner that makes it possible for them to return love. After the passion of new love subsides they become bored, often moving on to a new partner. If they continue in the relationship "instead of deepening concern and communication, there ensues a struggle for control. The arena of this often violent struggle may include time, money, sex, fidelity, spiritual beliefs, children, or physical and emotional distance.


#18    LostSouls7

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 08:17 PM

 Forever Cursed, on 01 May 2014 - 06:26 PM, said:

Or maybe a Borderline personality disorder. (Personality disorders can vary from mild to severe.)

Borderlines love love - they are obsessed by it and will do anything to ensure they get it. To them it is a means of filling up their loneliness and lack of Self through another person rather than an expression of regard or caring for someone as an equal partner.
While their need for love is apparent they don't know how to return love. In reality they are afraid of intimacy and do not have the emotional strength to fight their fears of inadequacy or abandonment in a manner that makes it possible for them to return love. After the passion of new love subsides they become bored, often moving on to a new partner. If they continue in the relationship "instead of deepening concern and communication, there ensues a struggle for control. The arena of this often violent struggle may include time, money, sex, fidelity, spiritual beliefs, children, or physical and emotional distance.

Wow great post! it sounds like some women and men are a little nuts then!!!
makes perfect sense !

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#19    regeneratia

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 08:19 PM

Why do people fall in love with anyone they date?

Truth is such a rare quality, a stranger so seldom met in this civilization of fraud, that it is never received freely, but must fight its way into the world
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(quote from THE BIBLE FRAUD)

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#20    DecoNoir

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 08:38 PM

 regeneratia, on 01 May 2014 - 08:19 PM, said:

Why do people fall in love with anyone they date?

Holy moly the problems we could solve with the answer to that.

I reject your reality, and substitute my own! Mostly because yours is boring as hell.

#21    aka CAT

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 09:18 PM


Whether one should remain single or marry

is a matter of how the individual

might best serve his/her highest purpose.

It is a matter of one’s calling in life.

Else wise, the person only proves self-centered.


0:-) MGby.



#22    Forever Cursed

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 10:00 PM

Take the test and see how you rate ?

http://psychcentral..../borderline.htm

You scored a total of  20
  I am almost there !!

Edited by Forever Cursed, 01 May 2014 - 10:13 PM.


#23    rodentraiser

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 01:55 AM

I think there is a difference between falling in love and being in love with someone. I've loved people I wanted to marry, but I can't say I fell in love with them. And there's another aspect to this. I know who I can and can't live with. I need someone very easygoing and relaxed to sort of anchor me. I also can't find a fit with my lifestyle. I like the security and solidness of someone I can trust and who will be there for me and that's usually a reliable and conservative man. But all the reliable and conservative men I've known also want to cast me into the mold of wifey - someone who will clean the house, cook the meals, raise the kids, and go to church with him. And that definitely ain't my life. The men who understand me and are willing to appreciate rather than condemn my little quirks and allow me to fly are usually the old time hippies who take drugs and are as reliable as the man in the moon. Since I don't use drugs and want someone to depend on in an emotional crisis, well, it ain't them I want to hook up with. So there's a reason I don't let myself "fall in love" with a lot of men.

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#24    Forever Cursed

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 01:49 PM

When I was younger I had a list of expectations, things I wanted and needed in life. But the older I got the smaller my list became, now to the point I no longer have one. The way I see it is if I have no expectations in life, then I never have to worry about being disappointed. And so far so good !!


#25    little_dreamer

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 03:05 PM

 rodentraiser, on 02 May 2014 - 01:55 AM, said:

I think there is a difference between falling in love and being in love with someone. I've loved people I wanted to marry, but I can't say I fell in love with them. And there's another aspect to this. I know who I can and can't live with. I need someone very easygoing and relaxed to sort of anchor me. I also can't find a fit with my lifestyle. I like the security and solidness of someone I can trust and who will be there for me and that's usually a reliable and conservative man. But all the reliable and conservative men I've known also want to cast me into the mold of wifey - someone who will clean the house, cook the meals, raise the kids, and go to church with him. And that definitely ain't my life. The men who understand me and are willing to appreciate rather than condemn my little quirks and allow me to fly are usually the old time hippies who take drugs and are as reliable as the man in the moon. Since I don't use drugs and want someone to depend on in an emotional crisis, well, it ain't them I want to hook up with. So there's a reason I don't let myself "fall in love" with a lot of men.

OMG I know how exactly how this feels.  This is kind of the same dilemma I am facing.    Maybe the solution is to just date for the rest of life and not marry, and not live together either.

I am another anonymous face in the crowd. I am just another tiny wheel in the machinery of the world I live in.

#26    Red Moon

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 03:28 PM

It might be a case of not meeting someone you love.


#27    aka CAT

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:24 PM

I decided to avoid romantic relationships altogether
whereupon I met my now husband.  Apparently,
God has His reasons for our sharing our lessons
in life together.  For better sometimes and for
worse other times, our being so cleaved together
this long suggests the divine glue will hold, at least,
until death do we part.


#28    DigitalDreamer

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 09:10 PM

@rodentraiser

Isn't falling in love the first step of being in love? There isn't a real separation between the two,enough so that you can list them as separate events,in my opinion

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