I think parents should be responsible for their children.. but sadly, i think if the child is 10+ maybe not. Under 10, yes.
I think teaching children manners, proper behavior.. what is expected of them.. the idea of 'consequences' for your actions.. is something you teach from birth up.
By the time the child is about 10, they KNOW what is expected, they may not remember the teachings from when they were under 6ish yrs of age, but they will KNOW.. and though they may screw up at times, they are easily put back on track. If parents are told 'you are responsible for your childs behavior', they will start early and teach them from the beginning.
Once a child hits preteen yrs though.. 10ish and up.. let's face it, if you have not taught them how to behave and if they feel 'owed' things, or.. they feel 'entitled', then it is ten times hard to get them out of those nasty thought habits.
I am not sure WHAT should be done then.
I think this 'lets count to three' thing is stupid, it just tells the child 'woohoo, two times i can do whatever.. '.. so really, seriously? wow.
ANyways, when the children are young, parents need to work their butts off teaching their children.
I think a lot of issues is also boredom. Kids are free to do whatever. How many actually have chores to do, and i dont mean 'paid chores'. i mean the chores of making your house a home. Helping with younger kids, working in a small family garden. Dad and mom dont do all the housework and yard work. And the kids dont get paid for it, any more then the parents get paid for it.
How many kids actually put in a good two hours of work a day? My kids did. We worked in the yard every freaking day, how else did the vegies get weeded? (really... weeding can be a daily C H O R E) mixed with laundry, dishes, cooking, sweeping.
My kids by the time they were 8 could do laundry and even iron! when they were 3, they knew how to put away play things and toss clothes into hampers. And they had a great childhood of playing, going to pples houses and having fun, swim lessons, karate.
I worked two jobs, their father when he was home usually was asleep on on tv. But i made they they learned things. It was hard work and at times I thought i was going insane.
But i look back now, my kids in their late 20's, and i see it was the right thing to do. teaching them responsibility, never using the excuse of 'but they are to young'.. never letting them use EXCUSES.. and never ever tolerating the idea they are 'entitled'. if they felt entitled bout anything, it was getting hugs, kisses.. play time.. my reading stories to them for hours at a time when i could.. and every free day going for walks with their friends and other parents to the park to have picnics and play time.
I think that is really what kids need. The ability to NOT feel 'owed to', the chance to realize giving feels better then taking all the time.. and they need to grow up with the idea that chores are not for money making, they are for 'making a home as a family'. Because mommy and daddy have chores AND jobs.. they have chores and school.
They learn that a home, making a home.. building a family has absolutely no financial value. It is all about the heart.
Today its gimme gimme gimme.
I have no solutions for those who are not taught such values by the time they are preteens or teens. I dont want to say 'it's to late', because that is ugly to me. I just do not know what the answer is.
Edited by willowdreams, 11 June 2014 - 11:24 PM.