Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


- - - - -

Cease to be judgmental


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1    ambelamba

ambelamba

    Government Agent

  • Closed
  • 3,568 posts
  • Joined:26 Mar 2008
  • Gender:Not Selected

Posted 13 June 2014 - 04:37 AM

I used to be very judgmental. Even after becoming an ex-Christian I was still too judgmental, until...

I met someone briefly.

She was around my age. Too old to pole-dance at the strip club I frequent. (35ish back then) She did GFE to support her son. And...she was an Army Intelligence officer and a linguist, specialized in...Korean. She was a white girl from South.

After I 'met' her, my view on people both men and women started to be shaken. I am still struggling with my narrow-mindness, though.

I was compelled to write this because my friend's friend does/did some *spam filter*s. Hardcore B/G. And she's been fighting her ex over her son at court. She recently received an angry letter from her friend who condemned her to be immoral.

You know, I don't know what to say. What I realized was that things are NOT simple, like religious, pious people want to believe.


#2    DieChecker

DieChecker

    I'm a Rogue Scholar

  • Member
  • 23,168 posts
  • Joined:21 Nov 2005
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Portland, Oregon, USA

  • Hey, I'm not wrong. I'm just not completely right.

Posted 13 June 2014 - 05:51 AM

Not being Judgemental is an even bigger mistake then being judgemental. You are being judgemental toward her based on her story. There is nothing wrong with being kind hearted, helpful and generous, but it is wrong to be used, to enable others, or to be a sucker.

I would agree that unthinking Christians are wrong, but don't please lump all Christians in with each other. Some think.

Edited by DieChecker, 13 June 2014 - 05:52 AM.

Here at Intel we make processors on 12 inch wafers. And, the individual processors on the wafers are called die. And, I am employed to check these die. That is why I am the DieChecker.

At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Qualifications? This is cryptozoology, dammit! All that is required is the spirit of adventure. - Night Walker

#3    Bluefinger

Bluefinger

    I am a Christian, and I understand many don't like that. .

  • Member
  • 5,019 posts
  • Joined:02 Sep 2005
  • Gender:Male

  • "You'll know them by their fruits."

Posted 13 June 2014 - 12:20 PM

View Postambelamba, on 13 June 2014 - 04:37 AM, said:

I used to be very judgmental. Even after becoming an ex-Christian I was still too judgmental, until...

I met someone briefly.

She was around my age. Too old to pole-dance at the strip club I frequent. (35ish back then) She did GFE to support her son. And...she was an Army Intelligence officer and a linguist, specialized in...Korean. She was a white girl from South.

After I 'met' her, my view on people both men and women started to be shaken. I am still struggling with my narrow-mindness, though.

I was compelled to write this because my friend's friend does/did some *spam filter*s. Hardcore B/G. And she's been fighting her ex over her son at court. She recently received an angry letter from her friend who condemned her to be immoral.

You know, I don't know what to say. What I realized was that things are NOT simple, like religious, pious people want to believe.

I don't know what about religion is so simple.

It is not enough to have a good mind.  The main thing is to use it well.     - Descartes

#4    Beany

Beany

    Government Agent

  • 3,789 posts
  • Joined:26 Jul 2011
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California

  • If music is the most universal language just think of me as one whole note. Nikki Giovanni

Posted 13 June 2014 - 03:29 PM

Your struggle strikes me as a good thing, it means you're growing and changing, and maybe finding some new ways of being in the world that are more compassionate and understanding, less black and white. Being in judgment of others is the kind of arrogance that usually isolates us from everyone but that small group we're a part of that shares our beliefs. They're kind of like big lumps in a bowl of gravy.


#5    GreenmansGod

GreenmansGod

    Mostly Harmless

  • Member
  • 11,002 posts
  • Joined:23 Jun 2004
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hurricane State

  • May the laughter ye give today return to thee 3 fold.

Posted 13 June 2014 - 04:38 PM

Custody battles are always messy, usually it isn't about what is best for the child it is about revenge.  Women in our society are often degraded to low income jobs. (Not everyone can go to college.)  Sometimes they must do things to feed and clothes their children that are not what "proper Christian" society thinks they should not because they want too but is what the must do.  Those who are the most judgemental are the ones who in then end are creating the situation these women must deal with in the first place.  The indoctrination of so called Christian "moral values" is a hard battle to overcome.  You are doing well my friend.

"The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it."  Galadriel

#6    DieChecker

DieChecker

    I'm a Rogue Scholar

  • Member
  • 23,168 posts
  • Joined:21 Nov 2005
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Portland, Oregon, USA

  • Hey, I'm not wrong. I'm just not completely right.

Posted 13 June 2014 - 06:06 PM

I'd just point out that the prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers and other unliked, unwanted people were the ones Jesus targeted to help/heal/teach.

Christians that ignore that and fortify their lives and hoard their money, and belongings, and who look down on others are the ones who are being ignorant.

But, just because I don't look down on someone does not mean I need to run over and hand over handfuls of money. They are just another person, but I have to use my Judgement (as is being Judgemental) to decide if they are a danger to myself or others, and... to themselves.

My Sister-in-Law was dating a guy that sold drugs. Gave her free drugs. Caused her to loose her job. Got her arrested. Got her running around naked (and abandoned) in the middle of town. Got her beat up and dropped a mile from the hospital. Got her bad credit. Got her evicted......

And do you know what she told us over and over again, when we told her he was a no good scum bag? "YOU ARE BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL!!!!" (Seriously, she did not speak. She only screamed.) And she would not listen till she ended up in jail for a good long while. Then she said, "Why didn't I listen to you all?".

Edited by DieChecker, 13 June 2014 - 06:07 PM.

Here at Intel we make processors on 12 inch wafers. And, the individual processors on the wafers are called die. And, I am employed to check these die. That is why I am the DieChecker.

At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Qualifications? This is cryptozoology, dammit! All that is required is the spirit of adventure. - Night Walker

#7    ambelamba

ambelamba

    Government Agent

  • Closed
  • 3,568 posts
  • Joined:26 Mar 2008
  • Gender:Not Selected

Posted 13 June 2014 - 07:57 PM

I see. Life is complex.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users