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strange occurrences during my mental episode


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#1    kamil

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 09:44 PM

Hi
I'm fascinated by the wide range of interesting topics on this forum, and I decided to share my own story, since I don't find explanations for some situations during my episode of schizophrenia ( I was diagnosed 6 years ago). In the present moment, when I'm aware of the fact that most of the things that happened was just marely a product of my imagination (such as pseudo-hallucinations with eyes shout), there are still some things that remind mysterious to me.
Firstable I would like to mention the situation in the club where I met a girl, haven't spoke with her too much, I just walk to her and told her she's a great dancer, she said that noone has ever said something like this to her. It might sound strange but I decided to kiss her in the cheek. Immidiately afterwards I experienced this intense feeling of joy that surrounds me. The feeling was so strong I just stood in one place for a moment, and then just moved to the bar. The feeling lasted for a minute or two, and I can just describe it by a feeling of presence of something that gives you enormous amount of peaceful joy, and you are in the center of it. In the meantime I felt that she is watching me ( i had my eyes closed in the moment) so I opened my eyes and she indeed was faced towards me, dancing with other guy ,apparently watching me standing..
Well, I though that I would mention other situations but I think this is enough for now.
I wish everyone of you that you could find this kind of experience.
P.S. I'm a buddhist and I had similar experiences ( strong feeling after touching someone, or just in pure meditation) couple times before,it's quite strange and yet still mysterious to me.

Edited by kamil, 15 July 2014 - 09:46 PM.


#2    and then

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 09:55 PM

View Postkamil, on 15 July 2014 - 09:44 PM, said:

Hi
I'm fascinated by the wide range of interesting topics on this forum, and I decided to share my own story, since I don't find explanations for some situations during my episode of schizophrenia ( I was diagnosed 6 years ago). In the present moment, when I'm aware of the fact that most of the things that happened was just marely a product of my imagination (such as pseudo-hallucinations with eyes shout), there are still some things that remind mysterious to me.
Firstable I would like to mention the situation in the club where I met a girl, haven't spoke with her too much, I just walk to her and told her she's a great dancer, she said that noone has ever said something like this to her. It might sound strange but I decided to kiss her in the cheek. Immidiately afterwards I experienced this intense feeling of joy that surrounds me. The feeling was so strong I just stood in one place for a moment, and then just moved to the bar. The feeling lasted for a minute or two, and I can just describe it by a feeling of presence of something that gives you enormous amount of peaceful joy, and you are in the center of it. In the meantime I felt that she is watching me ( i had my eyes closed in the moment) so I opened my eyes and she indeed was faced towards me, dancing with other guy ,apparently watching me standing..
Well, I though that I would mention other situations but I think this is enough for now.
I wish everyone of you that you could find this kind of experience.
P.S. I'm a buddhist and I had similar experiences ( strong feeling after touching someone, or just in pure meditation) couple times before,it's quite strange and yet still mysterious to me.
Be careful - foreplay might KILL you :w00t:
Seriously though - welcome to UM!  :tu:

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  for what could be, the darkest age...

#3    Professor T

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Posted 17 July 2014 - 01:40 AM

View Postkamil, on 15 July 2014 - 09:44 PM, said:

Well, I though that I would mention other situations but I think this is enough for now.
I wish everyone of you that you could find this kind of experience.
P.S. I'm a buddhist and I had similar experiences ( strong feeling after touching someone, or just in pure meditation) couple times before,it's quite strange and yet still mysterious to me.

Hi Kamil, Welcome to UM...
That's an interesting experience. A connection perhaps?
Looking forward to hearing more.


#4    kamil

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Posted 02 August 2014 - 08:14 PM

thanks for a warm welcome!
Yes, probably it was some kind of a soul connection you folks sometimes speak about here. I experienced the similar thing during a buddhist lecture, when my body literally passed out, yet I was still concious. I couldn't move for 5 minutes, and afterwards my teacher who conducted the lecture said it was the sign of a strong bond.
Speaking of a strange occurrances I had few during that time, but probably all of them was the result of a state I was in. There were helicopters and planes flying over my hause day by day, for a week or so, one day I saw a skater figure on the clouds ( my fav sport), the other day I thought something and afterwards the character in the movie I was watching "iron mask" with Leonardo di Caprio said the same phrase (something about suffering). One day I splitted the small part of flesh that was similar to fish flesh and grapefruit and the vioce in my head told me to eat it to try female flesh ( bizzare I know)- I'm perfectly healthy, no inner health problem whatsoever.
I don't pay attention to those occurances to much right now, but the strangest thing was when I woke up and found a piece of grilled bacon on the plate on my desk- we don't eat such kind of things here in poland and I lived alone at that time. I connected it to the voice from UK I "spoke with" earlier that night :)
Whacky things I know, and most of them are just hallucinations probably, yet those were very real to me.

Edited by kamil, 02 August 2014 - 08:17 PM.


#5    White Crane Feather

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Posted 04 August 2014 - 02:34 AM

View Postkamil, on 02 August 2014 - 08:14 PM, said:

thanks for a warm welcome!
Yes, probably it was some kind of a soul connection you folks sometimes speak about here. I experienced the similar thing during a buddhist lecture, when my body literally passed out, yet I was still concious. I couldn't move for 5 minutes, and afterwards my teacher who conducted the lecture said it was the sign of a strong bond.
Speaking of a strange occurrances I had few during that time, but probably all of them was the result of a state I was in. There were helicopters and planes flying over my hause day by day, for a week or so, one day I saw a skater figure on the clouds ( my fav sport), the other day I thought something and afterwards the character in the movie I was watching "iron mask" with Leonardo di Caprio said the same phrase (something about suffering). One day I splitted the small part of flesh that was similar to fish flesh and grapefruit and the vioce in my head told me to eat it to try female flesh ( bizzare I know)- I'm perfectly healthy, no inner health problem whatsoever.
I don't pay attention to those occurances to much right now, but the strangest thing was when I woke up and found a piece of grilled bacon on the plate on my desk- we don't eat such kind of things here in poland and I lived alone at that time. I connected it to the voice from UK I "spoke with" earlier that night :)
Whacky things I know, and most of them are just hallucinations probably, yet those were very real to me.

Increased psyche goes hand in hand with an increased psychosis my friend. In my opinion it casts quite a bit of a cloud on what actually is a psychosis.

It is said that the sanest person questions his sanity in all that he does. You sound very sane to me.  

Welcome to UM. I personally would be very interested in hearing the details of your experiences.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#6    davros of skaro

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Posted 04 August 2014 - 03:12 AM

http://www.spring.or...izophrenics.php

http://m.psychologyt...ateful-dopamine

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#7    kamil

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 06:42 PM

Interestiong read, thanks.

View PostWhite Crane Feather, on 04 August 2014 - 02:34 AM, said:

Increased psyche goes hand in hand with an increased psychosis my friend. In my opinion it casts quite a bit of a cloud on what actually is a psychosis.

It is said that the sanest person questions his sanity in all that he does. You sound very sane to me.  

Welcome to UM. I personally would be very interested in hearing the details of your experiences.
That's very kind  of you, It made my day :)
Well, psychosis is an artificial yet logical system of false beliefs that is enchanced during time of the episode. My personal ride was focused on imaginary contact with women from all over the place. I also wrote some stuff on facebook, so people in my town was a little bit disoriented. Once a woman came to the playground with her dauther right behind my house, It was autumn and I was watching through the window and said to her that the grass and flowers are growing and that's cool to see that in October and she replied to me "the revolution could be instant" :), I was already in the stage of psychosis at that time, so I sat down on my bed and imagined the map of Poland and started to "virtually" move bad people out of the biggest cities and I somewhat felt it worked, it gave me some warm, very pleasant sensation in my heart.  The other day kids came next to my house and shouted to me wheather I'm a Jesus or a Buddha and started quoting bible :) bizarre, I thought they were out of their mind :) Unfortunately I believe I became famous in my town inhabited by 30 thousand people.
One other funny story- after couple months I was already in stage tha tmy belief system was so huge that I fought a integrated system of computer and various beings from different planets interconected by the nanorobots that passed the sensory phenomena. I believed that this system controlled everything on earth, and by asking questions and by giving orders to the system I believed I dismanteled it, so I decided to check wheather it works, wheather I can go to the mall and take what i want- so I went and suprisingly there were no staff in the mall whatsoever, so I took a beer and left just like that :)
For people without psychosis experience one thing could be interesting- semi- hallucinations- they were very common in my case- I saw the past events, some mechanical inventions, saw people and spoke to them, all with eyes shout.
Well, that's all for now, hope it will be an interesting read for some of you, generally living with this disease isn't that hard, but it's a priority for me not to fall in such states anymore ( at least not for so long)
Cheers and have a good day friends!

Edited by kamil, 07 August 2014 - 06:47 PM.


#8    White Crane Feather

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Posted 08 August 2014 - 03:10 PM

View Postkamil, on 07 August 2014 - 06:42 PM, said:

Interestiong read, thanks.

That's very kind  of you, It made my day :)
Well, psychosis is an artificial yet logical system of false beliefs that is enchanced during time of the episode. My personal ride was focused on imaginary contact with women from all over the place. I also wrote some stuff on facebook, so people in my town was a little bit disoriented. Once a woman came to the playground with her dauther right behind my house, It was autumn and I was watching through the window and said to her that the grass and flowers are growing and that's cool to see that in October and she replied to me "the revolution could be instant" :), I was already in the stage of psychosis at that time, so I sat down on my bed and imagined the map of Poland and started to "virtually" move bad people out of the biggest cities and I somewhat felt it worked, it gave me some warm, very pleasant sensation in my heart.  The other day kids came next to my house and shouted to me wheather I'm a Jesus or a Buddha and started quoting bible :) bizarre, I thought they were out of their mind :) Unfortunately I believe I became famous in my town inhabited by 30 thousand people.
One other funny story- after couple months I was already in stage tha tmy belief system was so huge that I fought a integrated system of computer and various beings from different planets interconected by the nanorobots that passed the sensory phenomena. I believed that this system controlled everything on earth, and by asking questions and by giving orders to the system I believed I dismanteled it, so I decided to check wheather it works, wheather I can go to the mall and take what i want- so I went and suprisingly there were no staff in the mall whatsoever, so I took a beer and left just like that :)
For people without psychosis experience one thing could be interesting- semi- hallucinations- they were very common in my case- I saw the past events, some mechanical inventions, saw people and spoke to them, all with eyes shout.
Well, that's all for now, hope it will be an interesting read for some of you, generally living with this disease isn't that hard, but it's a priority for me not to fall in such states anymore ( at least not for so long)
Cheers and have a good day friends!
It sounds very much like dreaming. Only of course you are a wake. I have had some whoppers of dreams myself giant sagas. Any way it is interesting thank you for sharing.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-




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