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Did we choose our parents before birth?


bluezodiac

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To me, this sounds kind of unfair, especially if someone has a deadbeat parent, would that mean that their to blame for their parents choices?

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Personally, I don't believe so. That's all I got though, no proof either way.

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it's from the thought of reincarnation.

I think reincarnation is a cool concept, but do not believe it exists. for it to exist...it would have to be the transfer of our soul or spirit to a newborn baby, or maybe fetus...you know what...no, I don't believe we pick our parents before we're born.

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To me, this sounds kind of unfair, especially if someone has a deadbeat parent, would that mean that their to blame for their parents choices?

You know, I really don't know but I've heard of this a LOT!

I've heard that souls sometimes repeat lives because they have certain lessons to learn. So, the choice to be with a "deadbeat parent" or whatever is because there is a lesson they were supposed to learn and grow from.

I can look around for more information on where I saw this but I'm pretty sure Athena1979 nailed it on the reincarnation.

I think this is a very good question and a cool concept that ultimately no one really knows the answer...and that's okay.

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You know, I really don't know but I've heard of this a LOT!

I've heard that souls sometimes repeat lives because they have certain lessons to learn. So, the choice to be with a "deadbeat parent" or whatever is because there is a lesson they were supposed to learn and grow from.

I can look around for more information on where I saw this but I'm pretty sure Athena1979 nailed it on the reincarnation.

I think this is a very good question and a cool concept that ultimately no one really knows the answer...and that's okay.

Hello Shera, I think what is intended in the soul analogy of being reborn into many lifetimes ( reincarnation/ rebirth) refers to geting to a place where one sees the world of experience as clearly as possible and then acting in a way that is guided by wisdom. I don't see this idea of the soul repeating lives as feasible; I see reincarnation/rebirth as a vehicle to convey a deeper understanding (samsara). For example: as humans we often maneuver through life impulsively, habitually, without much careful, discriminating awareness. When we find ourselves repeating the same issues over and over, never sure why we never resolve the conflict, but instead repeat it, in a sense we are reincarnated at the same place, same problem, same outcome, until at which point we attend to the actual reality of our part to transform it and get off the karmic wheel. It is when we see clearly how we can transform the obstacles are we then reborn or give birth into a new way and it often feels like we are living another life completely, such as anger where it once sought revenge or sought to stew in resentment, it now seeks to be the impetuous that becomes a vision for the greater good, such as MLK he took his outrage and anger over slavery and transformed it into a cause based in nonviolence for the greater good, ending slavery.

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Just look at the parents of some kids and the question is been answered.

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I had a teacher called Ron Woods at evergeen community college in san jose who talke about this. He credited it to a Dr. Seus book, I remember huber gruber but in looking that was not it.

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I'm not a huge fan of this "we chose all our circumstances" line of thinking. Honestly, it's just blaming the victim to me. I really doubt I would have chosen my parents...in fact, I know I wouldn't have. And I don't think people chose to be raped or beaten, to starve to death or watch their children do so, or to experience terminal illnesses, etc. I think everything is pretty much random.

I think people would like to imagine that they had some semblance of control over what their life circumstances would be, but I don't think we really do.

Edited by ChaosRose
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I'm not a huge fan of this "we chose all our circumstances" line of thinking. Honestly, it's just blaming the victim to me. I really doubt I would have chosen my parents...in fact, I know I wouldn't have. And I don't think people chose to be raped or beaten, to starve to death or watch their children do so, or to experience terminal illnesses, etc. I think everything is pretty much random.

I think people would like to imagine that they had some semblance of control over what their life circumstances would be, but I don't think we really do.

Very well said, we just do not have that kind of control.

Edited by Sherapy
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Very well said, we just do not have that kind of control.

Some people really have a hard time dealing with not having control. I understand. It's scary. Also, a lot of people with new age beliefs can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that people experience random violence, illness, starvation, and death. It just doesn't fit in with that whole "the world is ascending" idea. So they have to find a way within their belief system to allow for it. Oh...we all chose to have x happen to us to help our spiritual growth. Sorry. My BS detector is going off.

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I've heard that belief for years. That's just what it is, a belief, not a fact. I often find this kind of New Age belief as credulous as some of the claims made by major religions. What's most important, I believe, is what we do with our lives, whether we take personal responsibility, etc. Beliefs are one thing, but the doing in the physical world, trumps everything.

Edited by Beany
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Yup, we all pick them as part of our need to come to grips with certain trains of thought that we cant quite grasp, is my understanding of this concept.

We see living proof where lessons are often repeated in order to grasp just a fundamental basis of understanding consequences or rewards per se and so often need many lessons just to get the basics, let alone the nuances of a particular 'Lesson'.

Then there's the need to 'get on' with folks whom we have an instinctive antipathy towards and what better place than in a family environment...

Whether the concept is accepted or not is irrelevant to the discussion on an un-provable theory but digging into the 'cause and effect' of the theory should provide answers or rationalizations that either support it conclusively for your respective mindsets or not...

Personally, I'm a believer and have my own thoughts about the whole concept but that doesn't give it any more credence for me than not believing in the concept as a worthwhile consideration...

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Some people really have a hard time dealing with not having control. I understand. It's scary. Also, a lot of people with new age beliefs can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that people experience random violence, illness, starvation, and death. It just doesn't fit in with that whole "the world is ascending" idea. So they have to find a way within their belief system to allow for it. Oh...we all chose to have x happen to us to help our spiritual growth. Sorry. My BS detector is going off.

Great point!

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Do you think it's sometimes used as a way of excusing one's own behavior or maybe to distance one's self from some of the tragedies in life we see every day? I guess randomness does scare some people, so a belief like this would be a way to eliminate it.

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I don't think we have any reason to believe that choosing parents is possible, since it would necessitate that a soul or physicality-devoid consciousness was somehow real, to which we have no evidence to support. It's a neat idea, but nothing more than a point for musing upon. I know I wouldn't have chosen my parents if I'd had the opportunity. Not in a million years.

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  • 2 weeks later...

would that mean that their to blame for their parents choices?

It's they're (i.e., they are) and not their. Anyway, we do not pick our parents as we are our own parents, as we are everyone in this world. I am you, you are me...

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I'm not a huge fan of this "we chose all our circumstances" line of thinking. Honestly, it's just blaming the victim to me. I really doubt I would have chosen my parents...in fact, I know I wouldn't have. And I don't think people chose to be raped or beaten, to starve to death or watch their children do so, or to experience terminal illnesses, etc. I think everything is pretty much random.

I think people would like to imagine that they had some semblance of control over what their life circumstances would be, but I don't think we really do.

I agree - in the end, the beauty or lack of it comes from what we create from our circumstances.
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello Shera, I think what is intended in the soul analogy of being reborn into many lifetimes ( reincarnation/ rebirth) refers to geting to a place where one sees the world of experience as clearly as possible and then acting in a way that is guided by wisdom. I don't see this idea of the soul repeating lives as feasible; I see reincarnation/rebirth as a vehicle to convey a deeper understanding (samsara). For example: as humans we often maneuver through life impulsively, habitually, without much careful, discriminating awareness. When we find ourselves repeating the same issues over and over, never sure why we never resolve the conflict, but instead repeat it, in a sense we are reincarnated at the same place, same problem, same outcome, until at which point we attend to the actual reality of our part to transform it and get off the karmic wheel. It is when we see clearly how we can transform the obstacles are we then reborn or give birth into a new way and it often feels like we are living another life completely, such as anger where it once sought revenge or sought to stew in resentment, it now seeks to be the impetuous that becomes a vision for the greater good, such as MLK he took his outrage and anger over slavery and transformed it into a cause based in nonviolence for the greater good, ending slavery.

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Did we choose our parents before birth? I don't think so, it sounds so silly. It's an interesting thought though, especially if we think of reincarnation, which was mentioned above. If this was true, it doesn't always end up how you want things to be. It's not all about walking and growing in the light. Your incarnation will always have either negative and/or positive forces. Sometimes love prevails. Sometimes hate or darkness prevails. Your parents will make mistakes, your parents will hate you or will love you. Nothing is certain.

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I dont think its about choosing the parents for the best outcomes one can imagine one would wish for in the present but rather, outcomes where the opportunity to learn a process like for example compassion, in the best set of circumstances that would call upon a soul to exercise such an opportunity...without prior knowledge...

I doubt very much that any soul would approach such choices from an anthropomorphic angle but rather from a disembodied perspective...

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Hello Shera, I think what is intended in the soul analogy of being reborn into many lifetimes ( reincarnation/ rebirth) refers to geting to a place where one sees the world of experience as clearly as possible and then acting in a way that is guided by wisdom. I don't see this idea of the soul repeating lives as feasible; I see reincarnation/rebirth as a vehicle to convey a deeper understanding (samsara). For example: as humans we often maneuver through life impulsively, habitually, without much careful, discriminating awareness. When we find ourselves repeating the same issues over and over, never sure why we never resolve the conflict, but instead repeat it, in a sense we are reincarnated at the same place, same problem, same outcome, until at which point we attend to the actual reality of our part to transform it and get off the karmic wheel. It is when we see clearly how we can transform the obstacles are we then reborn or give birth into a new way and it often feels like we are living another life completely, such as anger where it once sought revenge or sought to stew in resentment, it now seeks to be the impetuous that becomes a vision for the greater good, such as MLK he took his outrage and anger over slavery and transformed it into a cause based in nonviolence for the greater good, ending slavery.

Oh I can't believe I missed this. I find this fascinating. Thanks for that Sherapy :tu: Nice insight!!! I'm going to re-read and ingest your words now to fully understand your thoughts.

Edited to add. Love your thoughts here. Really love your example of MLK. Deep.

Edited by She-ra
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