Justice please Posted March 30, 2015 #1 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I did a stupid thing now I am regretting it. Can I make things better? I contacted an old boyfriend I haven't seen in 37 years. We were both young about 24 when we met. He was my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years wanted to marry me after a bad fight we had. This is what happened. He went to Mexico with some of his friends leaving me behind. I was hurt with him and at the same time a guy at work kept bugging me to go out with him. I finally said yes to him I did not like this guy I just wanted to teach my boyfriend a lesson. When he called me that friday he said,"what are you going to do now that I am in Mexico?" I said,"oh I have a date tonight" and he said, "a date and i am here with diahrrea in Mexico" He slammed down the phone. I thought, he'll get over it and will call. He didn't so after about a month I called him at work and one of his friends answered, I said," Can I talk with patrick?" the guy said, He doesn't want to talk to you anymore. I tried calling him for a couple of more weeks but I got the same answer. My friend told me don't stay home you are sad and if we go out and you dance you will start to feel better. Sadly that night I met a man that was no good but fun. We started dating then a little while later my boyfriend called looking for me but at the time I really liked this new guy. It did'nt work out so I was very sad because I liked him so much. My ex kept calling and looking for me and finally I answered him and we went out but i still missed the other guy. So my boyfriend asked me to marry him but I said no. He loved me so much and I could feel it. He did so much for me and my family too. He got married a few months later and I knew he did not love her. I recently contacted him knowing he was married. He was so happy to hear from me and we talked about old times and he said he wanted to see me.I send him a video of me singing. I sent him a cd I made some years back. and on the cd I wrote, "To the man I should have married" I dedicated a couple of love songs to him we were both happy. When suddenly his wife found out and she was so angry and hurt. What can I do to make things better for her and help him keep his marriage good. Is it too late? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Border Collie Posted March 30, 2015 #2 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
preacherman76 Posted March 30, 2015 #3 Share Posted March 30, 2015 It doesn't sound like you are really interested in helping him save his marriage at all. If you really are, then leave him alone. No contact. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefenceMinisterMishkin Posted March 30, 2015 #4 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Leave the guy alone, he has a new life now and it doesn't include you in it. Stop dragging up the past. Also, please learn to punctuate your text, it's quite difficult to read. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Greenman Posted March 30, 2015 #5 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Seems you spend a lot of time lamenting the past. Except that you blew it and move on. Stop playing games with people's hearts, it might get you killed. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Gazer Posted March 30, 2015 #6 Share Posted March 30, 2015 If you want to help him keep his marriage, then stay out of it. No phone calls, no CD's, no emails, no letters. His wife has every right to be angry at both him and you. Step out of the situation and leave them to try and resolve it. If he is truly still in love with you then he will end his marriage and get in touch. But let him fix / end his marriage without you having input. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted March 30, 2015 #7 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Leave him alone. You've done enough damage. He should have told you to get lost. So part of this is on his weak minded butt. I don't know about where you live but where I do if you break up their marriage she could sue you and win. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podo Posted March 30, 2015 #8 Share Posted March 30, 2015 You've wrecked what seems like his one chance to be happy, so you should go for broke and cut off all contact. Don't mess with his life any more than you already have. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted March 30, 2015 Author #9 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Thank you all for your kindly remarks. This is what I needed to do. I messed up and it's over I must go on. God bless you all for all the love you have show I did a stupid thing now I am regretting it. Can I make things better? I contacted an old boyfriend I haven't seen in 37 years. We were both young about 24 when we met. He was my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years wanted to marry me after a bad fight we had. This is what happened. He went to Mexico with some of his friends leaving me behind. I was hurt with him and at the same time a guy at work kept bugging me to go out with him. I finally said yes to him I did not like this guy I just wanted to teach my boyfriend a lesson. When he called me that friday he said,"what are you going to do now that I am in Mexico?" I said,"oh I have a date tonight" and he said, "a date and i am here with diahrrea in Mexico" He slammed down the phone. I thought, he'll get over it and will call. He didn't so after about a month I called him at work and one of his friends answered, I said," Can I talk with patrick?" the guy said, He doesn't want to talk to you anymore. I tried calling him for a couple of more weeks but I got the same answer. My friend told me don't stay home you are sad and if we go out and you dance you will start to feel better. Sadly that night I met a man that was no good but fun. We started dating then a little while later my boyfriend called looking for me but at the time I really liked this new guy. It did'nt work out so I was very sad because I liked him so much. My ex kept calling and looking for me and finally I answered him and we went out but i still missed the other guy. So my boyfriend asked me to marry him but I said no. He loved me so much and I could feel it. He did so much for me and my family too. He got married a few months later and I knew he did not love her. I recently contacted him knowing he was married. He was so happy to hear from me and we talked about old times and he said he wanted to see me.I send him a video of me singing. I sent him a cd I made some years back. and on the cd I wrote, "To the man I should have married" I dedicated a couple of love songs to him we were both happy. When suddenly his wife found out and she was so angry and hurt. What can I do to make things better for her and help him keep his marriage good. Is it too late? n here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careful_perspective Posted March 30, 2015 #10 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I agree that you should leave him alone, but don't be too hard on yourself, it takes two to tango. He obviously doesn't love his wife that much if he was so willing and able to accept you back in his life. I hope he can either find it in himself to love his wife or let her go so someone else can. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefenceMinisterMishkin Posted March 30, 2015 #11 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Sounds to me like he was just being friendly. I have had ex girlfriends contact me from years ago and we have met up and had a drink and laughed about old times. It doesn't mean anything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted March 30, 2015 #12 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel? I have to agree with this- I would be pretty upset if out of the blue some gal from my husbands past decided to start pursuing him, knowing full well he was married. Especially after thirty-odd years of marriage. Just leave him alone and let him work it out with his wife. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+DieChecker Posted March 30, 2015 #13 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have to agree. Don't call, or try to talk to either one, at least for another year.... especially if they live close by. A wife may forgive a friend who is a girl if they live really far away.... sometimes.... Usually not though. Leave married guys to their wives. Sounds like the "fun" guy wasn't the best either. You said he was "... no good...". Which is fine if your single and looking for fun, but if you want a long term relationship, stay away from bad guys and find a dull nice guy. Not as much fun, but a thousand times more predictable and can be just as affectionate and loving. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Gazer Posted March 31, 2015 #14 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Thank you all for your kindly remarks. This is what I needed to do. I messed up and it's over I must go on. God bless you all for all the love you have show n here. I think you realise that you were wrong to persue him, which is why you made this thread with a title "a bad thing I did". It can be difficult to let go when you truly love someone. Take care of yourself, keep yourself busy, take up a new hobby or something. Something that you enjoy that you can do when you find yourself thinking about him. Treat yourself with love and respect and eventually you will be able to move on with your life. Good luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_Seeking Posted April 2, 2015 #15 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I believe in true love. One thing I know about true love is it doesn't need much help. It will find its own way. And that's all I really have to say about that. Good luck and God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozfactor Posted April 3, 2015 #16 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Be easy on yourself , love hurts and is confusing for all of us . But don't spend too much time chasing men who don't want you and then rejecting them when the chase is over . Maybe talk to a therapist about it , it will help put things into perspective for you . All the best x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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