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Should We choose our Childs Religion?


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#16    Sherapy

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 07:54 PM

I'm a stay at home Mom, lots of kids running in and out lots of diversity I live in Southern California, (not saying we are more diverse ) Kids are talking God let me tell you I am amazed at the things I hear, so unless you live on an island religion is a very common thread that runs through society,  The main thing I hear ( kids aged 5 through 13)  Church is boring, all of my kids friends believe in Hell,



Does it matter more that my child is brought up in the ways of the lord as specified by the Bible, or that my child is a good perosn and that in the end it only matters (to you) the person you have been??  My Dad takes the first position, I the second. Why would I need to use fear as a means to teach, why isn't love enough>  Doesn't Love always prevail, Shouldn't I teach my child to see the perfection in all things?  Or is that not my place but religions job, How could religion do a better job than me? these are the issues in my family? Any thoughts my friends.




#17    TaintedDoughnuts

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 08:05 PM

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

The same principle applies here.  You should show your kids what religion you practice, but let them decide.  Myself, I'm raising my kids up Christian, but ultimately it's their choice if they want to follow or not.


#18    Doccy

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 08:07 PM

Of course it matters more that that your child will be a good person, but you can use religion and God to help them become a good person. I don't mean that going to church is important. I mean that showing that God loves them and that they are very important to him and you, you give them self-confidence. There's a lot of bad people there who believe in God as well and are very religious. So religion and God alone don't do any good.

You don't have to use fear as a mean to teach them. Sometimes it's just easier. Like telling them to wash their teeth, otherwise the boogey man will come and take all your teeth. Or you could just tell them the plain truth. That teeth will rot away if you wont wash them. Basically it's the same. It's just showing them the reality. There's always consequences for every action.


#19    hyperactive

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 08:07 PM

if you beleive spirituality is a personal thing, then you should teach both "what YOU see as perfection" and as many tools as you can to allow your child to find his/her own view of perfection.

when it comes to things like religous texts, i say teach that "some people think of this book as...., but i see it as...."  above all else it is important to teach an understanding between "my view" and "the view".  

teach spirituality (whatever that means to you) separate from the mythos of all the religions.  teach what religions are in the social context (what role they have played in all of man's societies).  teach the common themes of the religions for in these themes you find the nature of man.

be careful with subjective terms such as "good person".  teach how they are relative and not absolute (when the child is ready).

traits that allow for the functioning and success of the child in the world are what are important, not where they come from.


"He who knows not and knows not he knows not, he is a fool - shun him.
He who knows not and knows he knows not, he is simple - teach him.
He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him.
He who knows and knows that he knows, he is wise - follow him. "
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#20    Sherapy

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 09:31 PM

Doccy you hit on something big here, that I have even over looked, there are Universal laws put into place that for every action there is a consequence.  You also said "sometimes its just easier to use fear to get them to do something, See I want my kids to do things because its easier to be Good and I'm concerned (very )that religion uses Fear as its main teaching tool. Straight across the board some more or less than the others but nonetheless Fear is the main idea. (I am not bashing you I hope you do not take this that way)  So can we agree that maybe experience may be the best teacher and that if I focus on cultivating my childs Gooodness I  may have an effective way to teach, even though my Dad totally Disagree's?????




#21    Doccy

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 09:54 PM

Sure we can agree. It's you who's the mother anyway. Mothers with a healthy mind know best how to raise their kids. You are an important example to them. So be careful what you will do or say in front of them. Beat them and they will beat their close ones. Show them love and they will show love to their close ones. That's the way it works.


#22    Sherapy

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 02:31 AM

Doccy, that was very simply and beautifully put, I don't know if you have children but if you do you are an amazing Mom and if not you will be an amazing Mom.






#23    JuneyGirl

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 02:35 AM

QUOTE(747400 @ Jun 26 2005, 03:31 PM)
I do think there's a lot to be said for instilling the virtues of religion - caring for others, turning the other cheek, sanctity of life - in children, but not that they should be indoctrinated with one particular strand, one particular church, until they're old enough to make their own choices.

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Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

''Fear not; I am with you to the end of the age. Jesus

#24    nativechick1989

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 02:58 AM

QUOTE(TaintedDoughnuts @ Jun 26 2005, 02:05 PM)
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

The same principle applies here.  You should show your kids what religion you practice, but let them decide.  Myself, I'm raising my kids up Christian, but ultimately it's their choice if they want to follow or not.

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Well said TaintedDoughnuts, Well said!   thumbsup.gif

I couldn't have said it any better!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Catholic, but I haven't practiced my religion for some time now.  I drifted from the church, because I have views and beliefs that differ from the teachings of the church; so that's one of the reasons that I haven't attended Mass in a long time.

But I'll always be Catholic, it's just that I'm not a very good practicing one - at this time.


#25    JuneyGirl

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 03:07 AM

QUOTE(nativechick1989 @ Jun 26 2005, 10:58 PM)
QUOTE(TaintedDoughnuts @ Jun 26 2005, 02:05 PM)
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

The same principle applies here. You should show your kids what religion you practice, but let them decide. Myself, I'm raising my kids up Christian, but ultimately it's their choice if they want to follow or not.

View Post



Well said TaintedDoughnuts, Well said!   thumbsup.gif

I couldn't have said it any better!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Catholic, but I haven't practiced my religion for some time now.  I drifted from the church, because I have views and beliefs that differ from the teachings of the church; so that's one of the reasons that I haven't attended Mass in a long time.

But I'll always be Catholic, it's just that I'm not a very good practicing one - at this time.

View Post






I was too. Until i found out I can talk to the father without a priest! It is awesome to talk to the father without a human claiming he can and I can't!

''Fear not; I am with you to the end of the age. Jesus

#26    Paranoid Android

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 03:53 AM

You cannot force anyone to "choose" our religion.

As hyper pointed out, it would be good to teach all religions and faiths to your child.  Unfortunately, whatever we teach will be colored by our own faith.  I can teach someone about Buddhism, but it will be clear that I do not see that as the true path and I can teach Christianity, and it will be immediately apparent that I believe it to be truth.

A practicing Christian cannot help but impose their own belief's on a child.  If my wife and I (assuming I was married and had a child of course  grin2.gif ) go to church, what are we to do?  Leave our six year old at home alone?  Tell them that what they hear in Sunday school may not be the truth, even though we believe it is?

You know what I'm saying......

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#27    hyperactive

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 04:11 AM

BFG,

you are correct that separating your beliefs from your teachings is difficult.  logic dicates that one separate the teacher from the lesson though.  teach your children to think logically and for themselves first and foremost.  a smoker telling you smoking is bad does not negate the message, even though an illogical response is "but you do it".

i think today it is getting easier to teach children the many different belief structures out there thanks to increased multiculturalism and the internet (?).  When i was growing up i was the "odd one out" to say the least to be exposed to eastern philosophy/religion at an early age (amung other topics).  Perhaps my parents were just  alien.gif !  It is true that most people raise their children in a limited fashion based on the premis that what they believe is the correct belief (even if they have never experienced anything else).  Nothing is more permiating than ignorance.

I really do see a parent's role wrt education being that of a guide who opens as many doors as possible for the child (and encourages travel through those doors), but ultimately allows the child to find his/her own path.  Being humble is not easy.  Allowing a student to challenge you is not easy.  I think that the best teachers are those that allow the student to challenge.  Anything less is more akin to indoctorination into a way of thought.  I personally think people NEED to see things from multiple perspectives to understand anything (and need to understand how to dismiss preconditioning).  

It is ultimately a battle against our own biology.  We become ingrained because it is efficient.  We need to always exercise our fluidity of thought.


"He who knows not and knows not he knows not, he is a fool - shun him.
He who knows not and knows he knows not, he is simple - teach him.
He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him.
He who knows and knows that he knows, he is wise - follow him. "
Arabia


#28    Sherapy

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 04:57 AM

I know my example teaches my children, I have to be on my toes to get past my kids,  my kids don't miss a thing, I have an older child grown and gone and two younger and believe me if I learned anything our kids are us for awhile until they begin  define themselves.  I was my parents to at one time until I saw it wasn't working and the hardest thimg I did was take responsibility  and think for myself. I agree with you Hyperactive you need to be diverse and constantly check yourself because these will be adults one day contributing to the betterment of mankind.  This isn't an easy answer subject,(all parents do their best based on their understandings)   I myself cannot support a religion I myself am not over joyed and happy about, I think by example I can set an example of Gratitude and happiness and a joy for life and truthfulness, and kindness for others and generosity of heart.




#29    Byuu94

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Posted 28 June 2005 - 02:41 AM

One of the problems with teaching children about religion is that most religions believe that their religion is the only way. So no matter what religious background you have, you'll tend to put your own religion in a better light than the others. I really have my own beliefs and don't really belong to any grouping whatsoever. However, I do believe that all religions are just different paths to the same summit.  thumbsup.gif

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#30    PadawanOsswe

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Posted 29 June 2005 - 02:41 AM

when I have kids, I plan on leading them in the christian faith, encourage them to study scripture,etc... and ultimatly their choice of faith will be their own.

I was talking to my dad a while back cause I felt that I wasnt (for lack of better words) devout enough. he told me something like "its allright, all kids will be bored about religion, they wanna do other things besides sitting an hour or so in church. enjoy your childhood because somewhere along the boarderline of late teen/adulthood the dependence on a faith will kick in".



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