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Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
10 thoughts for 2006
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#1
- Alien Abducter
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'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' II Corinthians 5:7
Posted 06 January 2006 - 04:54 PM
I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ~anonymous~
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#2
- -¤-^]§đńđ Ěl Ö§˘ľrďę[^-¤-
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hęrę ĺrę ńđ ßęĺľďŁľl §ľrŁĺ˘ę§ wďhđľ ĺ ęrrďßlę Đęţh
Posted 06 January 2006 - 06:31 PM
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Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Gawd...that is SO true!
Great find!
§ĺĽ whĺ Ľđľ męĺń ĺńĐ męĺń whĺ Ľđľ §ĺĽ
#3
- Ectoplasmic Residue
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Never argue with idiots
they bring you down to their level
and beat you with their experience.
Posted 06 January 2006 - 06:57 PM
yea that was VERY funny lmao 
"the mysteries of the universe are revealed when you break stuff
#4
- Apparition
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I have to return some videotapes.
Posted 06 January 2006 - 07:12 PM
Sounds like these would be from Letterman. I like number 1 though.
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#6
- Ectoplasmic Residue
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The truth always rises above the lies that hold it at any unexpected time
Posted 06 January 2006 - 09:07 PM
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Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
This is my all time favorite one
#8
- Forum Divinity
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♥GiveThanks♥
Posted 07 January 2006 - 04:56 AM
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Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Far Out Man . .
#9
- The Zipparumpazoo!!!
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Paranoid Android..... wilful ignorance is not a disease - it's a choice!!!
Posted 08 January 2006 - 11:19 AM
HAHAHA, very funny. THis was my favourite:
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
"What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?" - PA vs Tiggs - Did Jesus Really exist? - The Formal Debate: HERE
"Christ-mythers are the young-earth Creationists of the historical community"!
#11
- I am a horrible person =D
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To those who have been watching all this time...
Posted 09 January 2006 - 05:56 AM
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HAHAHA, very funny. THis was my favourite:
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
I didn't tought that was funny, taxes are never funny
Dont look at me like that, i'm innocent as a human!
#12
- Cosmic Muppet..!
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Talking to myself is not the 1st sign of madness, it's only the 2nd sign...the 1st sign is talking to you!!
Posted 09 January 2006 - 02:50 PM
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Months even
Months even
RAW Berris... Dare you enter? God is a man with a white beard who invented the Da Vinci code
Come to UM's CHATROOM.....
#13
- Psychic Spy
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Your friendly neighborhood skeptic
Posted 10 January 2006 - 12:33 AM
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Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
That was the best one by far.
Advice on how to improve your psychic powers
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Avater done by Mr. Fahrenheit
#14
- Remote Viewer
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Anakin you're going down a path I can't follow. -Padme
I reject your reality and subsitute it with my own. -Adam Savage -Mythbusters
Posted 11 November 2006 - 03:10 PM
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Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
p.s. i love the last one, i've heard it before on UM though.
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