I dunno what everyone thinks of these kinds of threads. I know there are people who find them stupid and don't like them but I know there are people who like to offer advice...

Ok, there is this girl that I like... a lot. A hell of a lot. At first I thought it might just be a crush but now I know that I actually do like her. So much that I can't even look at other girls in 'that way' anymore... so much that I found myself not wanting to read my comics, play video games etc because all I wanted to do was be with her or talk to her... Lol, so ok, that might seem like I'm obsessed but really I'm not... I just really like her. It's a crush gone out of control, lol. But I just find her so perfect... she is very sexy, funny, cool, sweet, kind, friendly and not all up herself or about her looks like so many girls are. However, she says she isn't looking for a relationship because she likes been single... with all that that implies.

Now, I actually met her between 2 and 3 years ago now when I was still in school when a friend of mine wanted a mate to go with him when he met a girl from the interet. And one of her friends was this girl and on the train home, another of her friends gave me the number of this girl. But at the time I was sort of with someone else but I was also pretty shy around girls so to be honest, I was a little scared/worried to do something about it. But I text her a little bit and we started talking on MSN but then we lost contact until about a month ago when something in her MSN name prompted me to talk to her and we just sort of hit it off and arranged to meet.

We met out around town with her and her mate and me and two of my friends. She wanted me to dance but I'm not a dancer at all, I am just too self conscious (sp?), at least while I am sober but she was making quite a big deal of it so I let her drag me on to the dance floor. We danced a little bit but then I needed the toilet so had to leaver her, which she didn't seem to impressed with and I can see why but I really needed the toilet, lol. When I came back she didn't ask me to dance again and asked my mate so I was stuck feeling like an idiot while they had a little dance.

Anyway, we started texting and talking a lot on MSN. At one point we were sending maybe 10-15 texts to each other a day. In the past sorta 3-4 weeks I have gone through £40-£50 of phone credit, mostly texting her.

We have only met a few times in person... The second time we met was in town during the day but as I said I am quite a self conscious person and was, and to a certain extent still am, shy around girls so didn't actually speak to her too much. It is wierd... there are some girls that I can talk to no problem but then there are others who I just never know what to say to and I come off as really nervous and shy... and I'm not, I'm just not the most outgoing guy there is. Well I am around new people but once I get to know people I come out of my shell and everything.

She was out one night, I think it was the night we had met in town and I said something to prompt her to ask me 'Do you fancy me' to which I replied 'Yes I do'... to which I didn't get a reply.

Several days later, after some words from a couple of friends I asked her if she liked me but she wouldn't tell me and she said it's because she doesn't tell people stuff like that.

But she flirts with me quite a bit... Mostly when she is drunk though. There has been a couple times where I have thought, 'ok with a statement like that, she must like me'. Like for example, one evening she was drunk and she text me saying that a particular piercing she had got recently was sensitive in sensitive when you play with it sort of way. So the consequent conversation went like this:

Me: Can two people play?
Her:Yes if there are two people that want to play
Me: I want to play but I don't have a partner
Her: Do you have anyone in mind?
Me: Yes
Her: Aww, that's a shame, I was gonna ask you to join me
Me: Well its you that I had in mind

I got no reply then but it was pretty late. It wierd though... she flirts with me and tells me things like 'I wanna ****' and that she is horny and the next time I talk to her she is normal with me and doesn't flirt. Then the next time she might flirt with me again... then the next day, back to normal.

The next time we met was for my 19th birthday, nearly two weeks ago. Well, it was actually also her friends 18th birthday so she invited me out too after work. Byt the time I got there she was already rather drunk. And there was a bit of flirting going on... She kept resting her legs on me and so on and I kept taking her straws (when she is out drinking she likes collecting the straws from her drinks) and her phone. She also flirted with another guy, touching his crotch with her foot under the table. Well later in the night she went to the toilet with her friend and when she came out she pulled me to one side. I was rather drunk by this time and didn't really hear her 100% when she said it nevermind been able to remember it 100% the next day but what she said to me, I think the jist of it was either:

1) I like you but I also like this other guy who I have liked for longer. Do you understand? But I think your tattoo is sexy.

2) I don't like you and I like this other guy. Do you understand? But I think your tattoo is sexy.

I'm tending to go with the first cos I mean why would she pull me aside to say #2 to me? But it threw me off the way she said 'Do you understand?'... Anyway, As I said I was pretty drunk and couldn't really tell what she wanted - If she was trying to kiss me or not. But if she was I didn't want to kiss her back because I knew she was drunk and didn't want her to regret it the next morning, which would then also make me feel bad but also to be perfectly honest, I don't have a whole lot of experience in that area which is also probably the main reason why I am rather shy around girls I like.

Anyway... I just suddenly thought 'To the hell withit, I want to kiss her' and made an attempt to but she was in the middle of leaning back so it didn't quite work out and then her friend came over and pulled her away. As I went back to sit down, feeling a little embarassed and stupid she went over to the bar where this other guy she likes was and made out with him.

About 15 minutes after that she left, leaving me with people I barely knew but she came back once for her purse, I think and then a second time, for her coat. And she was really drunk but no-one seemed to care so I got up and followed her out and walked with her. We held hands, had our arms around each other and on a couple of occassions we sat down in the street and she kissed me once or twice on the cheek and I'm sure I remember her feeling my ass. So I walked her to the bus station and got onthe bus with her to her friends house and made sure she was ok. And as I walked back home, I felt like I had missed my chance.

We met again a week ago when we went to a mutual friends house warming party (the friend who I met this girl through). She asked me to pick her up from work because she didn't know where it was. We talked throughout the night and she rested her legs on me but then when I went to get some more drinks I came back, and she had moved places to talk to my friend. So they're there talking and I get stuck talking to his little sister. And I'm thinking 'God, if they get off now I'm gonna feel like an idiot'... And my friend is more outgoing than me, so they were just talking no problem and I felt like I was loosing out because I'm not the most outgoing guy and don't always find it easy talking to people I am not really familiar with.

So it got to midnight and the party was actually pretty slow because most of the people who said they would come didn't show up plus we were all rather tired. So she had already said she would take my friends bed... 'Damnit' I thought. My friends housemate had gone out into town so the second bed was free and he was actually a gentleman and said he would just take that. So I was left downstairs with my friends little sister and then she went upstairs so I did too. And both me and her ended up in the same room as this girl, sleeping on the floor with her in the bed. I purposefully slept so that my legs were up on the bed and once everyone had settled down she started to rub my feet, so I got up and layed on the bed next to her, with my arm around her. Eventually I ended up under the covers and several times she grabbed my hand and pulled in towards her chest. Nothing happened though other than that. The next day nothing was said about it. My friends dad gave us a lift into the town but there was 4 of us in the back but she wouldn't sit on my knee and I thought 'has she decided that she doesn't like me?' but she managed to squeeze in and took my hand again so I was back to thinking 'maybe she does'.

We didn't meet for a whole week then because she went to Edinburgh for 3 days, with her friends and a guy who I beleive is her ex, who she said she still loves but he cares for her but doesn't love her, which also meant that I couldn't give her her Valentines card and pressie. Anyway, we met yesterday which was her idea. She came with me while I got my tattoo finished and then we had some lunch and just hung out before she had to go to work. I gave her her Valentines stuff then and she didn't say anything about the card and didn't open her pressie in front of me. She did tell me it was sweet though. I got her a little teddy, holding a heart that says 'someone special' and then bought some pink straws (her fave colour) and put them in the teddy's arms, as I said she likes to collect straws, so I was hoping she would find it sweet. Anyway, after sharing a bed and the on and off flirting I thought something is bound to happen but nothing happened... Everything was as though we were just friends.

We were talking on MSN again tonight and I tried flirting with her and she was flirting a little back but it was very casual, not really like what she has done in the past. She also doesn't text me back as much or as quick as she use to.

While she was in Edinburgh I was texting her quite a bit and I started flirting with her and she sent me a text saying 'There is something I need to explain about myself before this goes any further'. I'm not gonna say what that is but you can probably take a decent guess... I wonder if she would tell me that if she didn't think things could and/or would go further..?

It is hard to tell if she actually likes me or not. As I said earlier, I am not very experienced with these matters. In school I was never really popular with the girls so perhaps what might be obvious and easy to some people, isn't to me. It's hard to tell if she flirts with me because she likes me or if she just considers it harmless casual flirting, like two friends might do. I mean there's a couple things you would look at and say 'Oh yeah she does', like for example sharing a bed or the way she took my hand on the car journey the next morning but everytime I think 'Yes she does' and we talk, it's all normal and I'm back to thinking 'does she, doesn't she?'.

One friend I talk to online keeps telling me she is either just a really big flirt or is teasing me or actually likes me.

I want to kiss her but don't want to ruin what we have. At the moment, we have quite a close and good friendship to say that we have only really known each other for a month... I want more than friendship but don't want to risk what we have.

I didn't mean to go on for so long but it was actually kinda good getting it all out and now I can have a read through myself... But any advice would be most welcome. Also if anyone else is having similar problems, feel free to vent and share.

Mate I just read through 75% of that before it got predictable but here is the truth. She doesn't really fancy you, she sees you as someone who she can have a bit of harmless fun with but never wants to take it any further. In the beginning you may have had a chance but from what you're written you didn't really sell yourself well, and unfortunately what you have done is given her the emotional upper-hand, she knows you like her 100x more than she likes you and so she uses that.

I am 24 years old, seen a lot, done a fair bit, and known lots of different types of peoiple. I've seen your scenario many times i'm afraid. The best thing you can do, though it will hurt at first, is get her out of your mind and start looking at other women who will treat you right and as an equal.

She doesn't fancy you mate, that is the long and short of it, and I would put big money on that. Move on and give that love and attention to a girl who really deserves it, because from the sounds of it she's a bit of a cheap lady.

If you want my best analogy, it would be that this is the same scenario as in Forrest Gump between him and Jenny. Dont't do it to yourself.

Dont ask me 4 advie i anit had a gf 4 abotu 4 years

Okay, being a woman, and having "been there, done that" I have to agree with Richdog, she is leading you on, and holding onto you "just in case".

I don't want you to be hurt, you are young and I am sure you have heard this before but go out and have fun! Enjoy yourself, explore,be wild(though in the confines of the law! )

Number one,she is telling you she's into some other guy, and I know for a fact, when a girl is really into a guy, she'll let him kiss her, or she'll make the first move and kiss him. (been there, done that! )

Number two, if you are great friends, and you don't want to screw it up, you need to find a girl who likes you for you and not a "friend" who flirts a little too much after a few drinks! Keep being friends, one can never have to many friends, but go out and live a little!

Just my two cents...

Is it just me or do women do that kind of thing for all of their single lives?
That's just plain evil...

Now, EH! I've had a guy do that to me, too!

Sorry, Crow! I know these aren't the kind of replies you were probably hoping for, but we've all been there/done that. When you find a girl that you can sit down next to and talk to for hours without worrying about what to say or fretting afterwards about what you said, then you'll know you're onto something relationship-wise.

I think the two biggest mistakes people make in seeking out relationships are trying to change themselves so the other person will like them more and thinking they can change the other person. Just relax, be yourself (you're great the way you are! Unless, of course, you're a serial killer or something ) and keep looking until you find someone you like who likes you back.

K, Walken's kind of worried about future problems with tlking about Walken's personal life, but hey! Walken is bored.

Walken has a best friend who he dated for a year, starting 3 years ago, then she broke up with him because she liked his friend, Darren, and that twas 2 years ago. For six months they did not tlk, but then Walken said that he wanted to be friends. they are now best friends.

But here in lies the problem, Walken still very really likes her and has done for those 3 years, however she shows no intrest in Walken, besides a very good friendship.

Walken expects replies like ; 'let it go' and 'get over it', well know this; that was walkens resoloution last year, and he has heard the advice a million times before, but he has been unsuccsessful in all attempts.

So now what does Walken do?

(Awaits majikman's post: 'Definatly not a good idea' then topic closure)

Should probably add that Walken has been asked on dates since then, but declined, because he still has such strong feelings for her. She however, has moved on, and frequently dates other people.

Also, she knows, and finds it very obsessive and weird, and we all like to not tlk about it.

HEY!

I know lots of men who are like that, single or not!

Richdog thinks that you should leave the 3rd person talking malarky yo Moe as he does it FAR better, and it really doesn't suit you.

But Walken, you seriously need to let go of that girl... it ain't healthy and you're missing out on relationships that will potentially be FAR better than this girl who doesn't like you... even if she did.

sounds like this girl is a bit of a hussy, and is stroking her ego by not only leading you on for quite some time.. but having a piece on the side..

its got nothing to do with you being popular with the girls in school, i can tell you now the guys that were like that in my h.s. have wound up being pathetic men. at the end of the day, it means nothing the amount of girlfriends or boyfriends a person has had.. because not all of them are meaningful

just let go of her, she is using you to make herself feel like a better person, and has no thought about you and your feelings towards her. when you do this (let her go that is), you'll be able to get on with your life, and go back to the things you love. its not going to be easy, but its going to be better for you and you feelings, cos it sounds like she is liking having you at her beck and call.. collecting straws and the like, and then giving you a cheap thrill, all the while she is drunk... has something meaningful happened when you are not drunk, or her?

let it go.. get on with your life and meet new girls... there are plenty out there, and lots more that would be nice than this girl you described

Wel lshe wasn't actually that drunk when she let me share the bed with her and the next morning I gave her my bracelet which she has kept and says she likes. I dunno if that means much... lol.

But anyway... Bah, that's not the sort of replies I wanted to hear... But at the back on my mind I know what you guys are saying is more than likely true. It's just this is the first girl I have actually felt like this about... I'm still gonna hope for something to happen but not be as wrapped up in it and try and move on... Thanks guys.

heya krow, talking from the point of view of a girl, she's a b****, stringing you along, she's not worth it, your worth far more than her. and if she treats you like this, she's not worth it. i'm sorry if this sounds harsh. but its all true, none of us want to see you get hurt, your young and there's more fish in the sea. if u need a hug, you can PM me

move on dude, shes going to stress you out..or tell her straight out you like her and if she doesnt say anything then its not worth it is it? theres no point in being in a relationship that just isnt there.

an ex-friend of mine does this, my best friend does it, hell, i've kinda done it(sorry!)

i'm sorry hun, i'm a girl and i know exactly what she's doing...she's leading you on. i wouldn't right out call her a b****, cos my best friend is doing it right now with several guys! it's so cruel, i just think she doesn't quite see it herself, i guess you kinda get caught up in it, and lets face it, it makes you feel better having someone after your affections, and to be in control of the situation.

you know, not to be harsh, but it's likely you could get 'lucky'...you know what i mean! but the thing is, it might mean the world to you, but will mean nothing to her, and that's where the danger is.

my bessie friend was leading this guy on for ages, i guess it gave her confidence, and for ages she was saying no, but then one night she got desperate for someone to be with, so she settled for him. he was delighted of course, his dream was coming true, he was mad about her and still is, but unhappy she had to settle for him, she started to view him in disgust, and treated him pretty unfairly. unfortunately, i think she's kinda leading him on again

please, see it for what it is. believe it or not, they are other great girls out there that you'll feel this way about!

ok, so maybe B**** was harsh, i apologise, but my best guy friend has had it done 2 him and i was the one whose shoulder he cried on. girls like that arent worth it crow, honestly you'll find mrs right eventually, there are loads more fish in the sea x

Hi Crow this girl is messing with your head,feelings and your heart mate p#ss her off. You can do better take it from some one who's been there and got the t shirt. its all down to trial and error don't pine all your hopes to this child (for thats how she acts) chin up mate it dose get better

Hey Walken don't keep your life on hold for her mate she's not keeping her life on hold for you is she ???? ( I was with my last girl friend 7 years knew her for 15 years and loved her all that time i have brought up her little boy who i love more than life its self and got ditched 2 years ago i have my lad every weekend and still love his mum but i don't keep my life on hold for her and never will as i know we will never get back together )you only get one shot at life live it to the full mate u:

My 2 cents:

She may not be a bad person, just someone who's experimenting with her sexuality at the moment (assuming we're talking about teenagers here). She doesn't want to settle and wants to experience different things. It doesn't make what she's doing wrong, however, it's probably not the place that you want to be.

I feel bad for you, I know what it's like to lust after someone like that, and want to kiss them and hold them just so badly.... but you can't do it. And no matter how many people tell you to "get over it" and "move on", regardless of the fact that this is what you need to do, it's almost impossible.

What I think you need to do, is ask her, straight-up. Ask her for coffee one day, just you and her, and tell her how you've been feeling, how you get mixed signals from her, and that you just really need to know how she feels about you either way because you can't just be left hanging anymore. Unless she really is a b****, she'll likely give you an honest answer that hopefully you can either work at a relationship, or begin the healing process and move on.

Now, if she rejects you, it's going to be hard on you. But the plus side is that you have something to move from. There aren't anymore "what ifs" holding you back, and once you're over the initial shock and heartbreak you can start doing things to make yourself feel better, like play your video games and go out with friends. Try dating other girls. Don't worry if you're not over this girl yet, because one day you'll likely meet another gal that you like even more.

Don't worry about a thing, you're still young and you've got a lot more loves and losses ahead of you.

Keep your spritits up, and good luck.

Well I was planning on having 'the talk' with her yesterday but I didn't see her and now, probably much to everyones dislike (I couldn't think of the right word) I don't think I'm gonna have 'the talk' with her now... She did tell me something personal though the other day which she said she wanted to tell me before this goes any further... so I might just ask her why she told me that... Cos she thought things could go further or cos I'm a friend.

I don't wanna ruin whatever it is we have at moment though... I mean I'd rather be just casual flirters than 'just friends'...

You'll probably say that's not good but I don't think she's leading me on or anything... I don't think she's like that. She's a nice girl and I know I said she likes been single with all that that implies but she isn't the type to sleep around... she just likes to have a good time.

I think she likes me, atleast a little bit... I mean there has been signs that she does and then there has been times when it would seem we are just friends... (I know you guys have said its cos she's leading me on but like I said I don't think she's like that) but I know she still has feelings for her ex, who she says is just a friend... I dunno, I just don't wanna loose what we have.... even if it is un-healthy or whatever.

I'm not gonna be as wrapped up in her though... If something happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.

Thanks for the advice though.

Well I'll try not to sound too smug when I say this but she does like me.

I didn't ask her outright... I was sneaky about it, lol. I told her that someone had sent me a text of silly advice so she was pestering me to find out what it is... so I told her that there is a girl I like and I dunno if she likes me and eventually I told asked her if she knew it was her I was talking about and she said she had a suspicion.

She said she does like, otherwise sh never would have shared a bed with me... But I think she has had a bad expierence with guys in the past because she says she isn't looking for anything serious and she says she is messed up and doesn't make a good girlfriend.

She also said she considers me a good friend and wouldn't want to loose me as a friend so maybe you guys were right when you said I had missed my chance.

Oh well, atleast I know she likes me so perhaps something might happen. I just won't be as wrapped up in it anymore.

Thanks evreyone for your help.