I didnt know where to post this but i am hoping for a few opinions so here goes.

I am an only chilld and had a good ubringing except, my best friend E**** who was two, three years younger than me, i think i must of been 8, 9 and she 6, 8 or something like that.

Anyway she had two older brothers, mother and step father who was always shouting at her for something or other, my dad took pity on her, as i was an only child we used to take her along to alot of places with us on days out and stuff but it always seemed that my dad would pay her more attention than me, buy her better things than he bought me, this really hurt and i used to get soo jelous it was unbelevable.

A few years later the whole fammily moved away, THE POINT OF THIS, im sure this has affected me im 24 now and have a few emotional problems and im not looking for someon or something to blame im just looking for answers and i would be greatfull if i could have a few opinions please. May be these events have something to do with how i feel today?

P.S please be nice about it ***

Nope. No idea where you got the idea of child abuse from =/

Child abuse - Child abuse is the physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by his or her parents (including adoptive parents), guardians, or other adults. While this term emphasizes on carrying out wrong acts, a related term is child neglect: not doing what is necessary, negligence. The combined problem area is often called child abuse and neglect. Below the term abuse is used in the generalized meaning which also includes neglect. Child abuse occurs in all classes of society. - Wiki.

Just think, if your father didn't take pity on her and almost 'adopt her' - so to speak - She could have been driven to depression. Seeing as you stated she got a lot of verbal abuse from her parents, maybe he gave her more attention because of empathy. She may have got nice things ect, but I think you had the better life from the sounds of it. Seeing as all you suffered from was your own jealousy yet had a comfortable life, while she had to make due with the occasional gifts and return home to verbal abuse.

Hi Quicky and thank you for sharing your concerns about your dad's behavior toward your friend. First of all, that's good that you put "Please be nice about it"because there are a several rude and condescending people on this forum.

It's so difficult to know why a family member gives preferential treatment to someone else like that. It could have been he felt an overwhelming amount of compassion for that young girl. She was younger than you, and maybe your dad realized she needed a caring adult male role model in her life instead of being yelled at all the time. Maybe she told your dad things that happened to her that she didn't want to tell other people.

But I think that's unfair of him to give her special treatment like that without giving you equal treatment.

What I would suggest, Quicky, is that you sit down with your father and have a heart-to-heart talk about your feelings about the preferential treatment he gave your friend. It doesn't matter if this happened years ago. Use lots of "I feel's" in the discussion.

Also, if you feel any resentment toward your best friend in this situation, please also sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her.

As you do this, you may feel a ton of bricks lift off your shoulders. Good luck, and please keep us posted.

When i was little their were two little girls that lived a few houses down and they came from a large family that didn,t have much, i,m an only child as well and even though we wern,t wealthy we had plenty and never had to worry about where food would come from or if the bills would get paid! My mom was a pediatric nurse and loved children, and these little girls were very well behaved and sweet and my mom gave them a lot of attention and would get them gifts,and i got sooo jelous at the time! I thought hey i,m your kid and all i get is clean your room and eat your vegies ?I wanted my mom all to myself! But as i got older i realized that my mom was only trying to make their lives a little more enjoyable, and i got my moms love every day! One day not too long ago my mom and i were talking and the subject came up about these little girls, i admitted to her that as a child i had been,jelous,hurt and angry! She was shocked to hear that since i did hide my feelings from her at the time very well, and of course i had since realized that it was a childs misunderstanding that caused me my hurt!As my mom said ,it would have been impossible for her to love another child more than her own and she had only been trying to be kind to the girls and their family! She said she was glad i had gotten over it myself but wished that i would have come to her then, so she could have explained and reasured me,sparing me that nasty childhood pain!

I don't think anyone here can be qualified to answer your question, Quicky. Your better off seeking the opinion of a fully qualified professional. Any responses you get from here will be layman answers (at best) and might be more harmful than anything else.

With that in consideration, I'm going to close this thread. If you really do feel like you still are having issues from your childhood, you're better off speaking to a counsellor.

All the best, Quicky. Hope things work out for you.

~ Paranoid Android