I've gotten really bad news from my parents today about my Grandma.My Grandma(She's 89) is struggling,and the doctors have told us she only has an approximately month left.I have had some of my relatives who've passed away,but she was really close to me.What should I do?


(sorry if this is in the wrong forum.)

I am sorry to hear about your Grandma.
Different people cope with death differently, so what works best for one won't necessarily work for another. I will tell you what I did when I learned my mother had lung cancer (a fast growing form that can be slowed, but not cured). I had more than a month with her afterward, but her and I talked about her impending death a bit, she laid out what she wanted done with most of her stuff. Mostly we talked about the past, things we had experienced together, and family stories she had not shared before. We went to the zoo, when she felt fine, stayed home and chatted when she didn't feel so good. I spent time hugging her, hanging out with her, talking, playing games, watching movies. The main thing was for me to just be there as much as I could, and for her to know I love her and will always love her. We talked about the paranormal (as she believed that our loved ones could visit us after they pass), and she promised she would let me know she was okay after she died.
As for dealing with her death after she died, we (my siblings and my children and I) sat at her house and talked about the things we remembered most, the things we did when we were growing up. We played her favorite music and laughed about her singing the songs. We went to a bar and had a drink in her name, while blasting the jukebox and singing off key to her fave song. It has been almost 2 yrs, and I am still dealing with her death, and probably will be for a long time. It does get easier over time, but she will always be in my mind, things will remind me of her, and I will miss her until I die and get to see her again. My sister avoided going to the hospital the last week of her life, and didn't even call to see how she was, she had a harder time dealing with her death, because she felt guilty about not seeing her that week. My advice is, don't avoid your grandma because you don't like to see her sick, go see her anyway, and you won't have the guilt to deal with later.

Just do what comes natural. Cry, laugh, beat the wall, scream into your pillow..etc.Grieving is a personal process that can't be 'coached'. The only advice that I could give is prepare yourself for the worse. You know your grandmother is bad off and may pass away. I'm really sorry to hear this, I hope her passing will be as pain free as possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

By not acting like a child and realizing it's a natural part of life.

Hang in there and stay strong champ.
Life goes on live it happy and to the fullest, thats exactly what your grandparents would want you to do, nothing less...always remember that it was you(wazoo)that put ''Grand'' in grandparents.

(((wazoo))) It is tough and frightening to realize you are going to lose someone so special to you. I know, I was devastated when my grandma passed away. The pain does lessen and you are able to think of the good times and the wonderful things she taught you and made you feel. As long as you have those, she will always be with you.

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother....its hard losing a close loved one, but grieving comes naturally and you deal with it in your own way - no one can tell you how to cope. Having support is different then being told how to cope, having that support makes dealing with a death easier.






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My wifes father passed away suddenly 2 years ago. He had 2 massive brain anyeurisms at the same time. Eric was a fantastic man in every way.
She still hurts even now.
We are a close family & every August on the anniversary of Erics passing away, we get together, Aunts ,Uncles, Kids, everyone, & go away for a weekend.We laugh,dance,drink,play games, & generally make merry. A few tears get shed, but on the whole we remember Eric as he was alive, & all the good times we shared with him.

Hi Wazoo,

First let me express my deepest sympathy about the news of your Grandma. She has been blessed with a long life. One of the most precious gifts you could give your Grandma and yourself, is to be with her as much as possible now, and when she's ready to pass on...she will need your support and acceptance. It's not easy letting go of someone you love so dearly, but if you embrace it, and allow the pure emotions to flow freely...you will see the beauty in sorrow. Remeber joy among the tears.

Live every day to the fullest, and hope that your grandmother did as well. Death will be peace.

Nice IS^...
Whenever i read poems or quotes on anything, having the Author ''Unknown'' makes it extra cool(for lack of a better word)
I'll never be a poet...FACT lol!!!

Check this out Wazoo...


Checkout this sight if you like<-(Hey, i'm a poet & didn't know it)
Inspirational stuff...
Native American Wisdom/Pearls Of Wisdom

Thats a r****** reply. Shame on you.

Just think, do you think your grandma would want you to be sad for her? She will be in a better place anyway right??????



He should have put it in different words......I mean it really is a natural part of life.

Yes, he should have, but maybe he should have completely kept it to himself especially now when wazoo's emotions are so raw. Just because it is a part of life doesn't make it easier.

Yes but if he would have kept it to himself how would that help the guy get over a death?

Easy. Wazoo doesn't need negativity, they are reaching out for comfort in any way shape or form. Everyone know that with life we have death, but, it is accepting death and trying to rationalize our emotions at such a time that we have a hard time. The last thing we need is callousness and hurtful statements.

Yes that's why I said he should have put it in different words, and we are back at the beggining.

Anyway I said what I needed to say, his grandma wouldn't want him to be sad. It's ok wazoo, you'll get through this buddy, everyone does

While it is a natural part of life, it is also natural to be sad and upset when someone you love dies. It is also natural for most people to be gentle to a young person when their grandmother is dying and they post that they are upset about it. Grief isn't about where the dead person is going to be, grief is about how sad the loved ones are going to be missed.

Ok I agree.

Thank you guys for your kind words.I've learned today,she has bin diagnosed with liver cancer.That poem was really touching,and I may give it to her as a gift.(She likes to read.)

Wazoo, you are so welcome sweetheart.

I am touched that you would want to share the poems with your Grandmother. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

PM me if you ever need a shoulder. I'm sorry to hear about the diagnosis.