Got these on an E-mail, Enjoy!;

The following are REAL quotes taken from REAL cases in the court room!

"How many times have you committed suicide?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"Did he kill you?"

"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn' t you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Lol, I loved those. It makes you wonder how they passed the class to become lawyers. It also reminds me of a joke my cousin told me. Hope you don't mind if I share.

A lawyer is sitting in his car about to close the door when a truck speeds by, hitting and ripping off the car-door and the lawyer's arm. He immediantly begins cursing and calls the police. Upon their arrival, the lawyer won't shut up about the car. He carries on about how it was new, and he hadn't even paid off the bills on it yet. Finally, an officer walks over to him and says, "You are so worried about that damn car! You should look at your arm!" Startled, the lawyer looks down at his arm and sees that it has been ripped off, "Holy sh**, Where's my rolex!"

Not very funny, but it just goes to show you how people can be.

Cya!

lool ..omg.. this is so Stupid!!!

and funny too

They were great.

and we pay these guys