Alright I don't know anywhere else to go and it's really getting on my nerves now. For some reason I have a extreme anxiety problem of being caught off guard by like some killer or something trying to kill me. Not so much the death part as much as the part of having to be caught unprepared. So basically I sleep with all sorts of weapons around me and tragically plan my room for a sort of thing like that. Some nights I'm fine and never have a problem. Then some nights I'm staying up all night walking on eggshells everywhere I go. It isn't a fun feeling and my heart races like mad. It gets so bad that once my family member jumped me and I through them into a wall without evening thinking. I'm not a violent guy just this paranoia is getting border-line insane now.

It isn't like I'm afraid of the dark but this generally happens at night, I'm guessing since I realize can't see everything and so imagination sets in. Since I start feeling all this anxiety I can very well say I hear things slightly like a tone of voice or something moving, then at times I will look around and see something but then it goes away. I know its not real but I don't know why this is happening. I also feel like someone is standing right behind me all the time or someone of the shadows is going to come dashing at me. It scary as hell and keeps me up throughout most of the night which is effecting my schooling. So many thoughts I have of other various things happen at night like the most random thoughts that help prevent me from sleeping and if I had a problem that I couldn't find out that day, like some type of calculation or thought, I keep running it till I get it. I can't live with the smallest effects and anything that isn't known makes me keep studying it till I do know it.

Also I noticed this a while before these basically panic attacks starting happening, I shake a heck of a lot and I zone out throughout 95% of the day only noticing what I'm doing sometimes. Basically like I understand what is happening and all but just doing and responding automatically without knowing how I'm doing it. Like observing myself I guess you could say. And lastly it is almost impossible to express myself at times no matter how many times I change the wording. Everyone swears I talk old English when I speak since how cryptic and odd wording it sounds also how I do math completely backwards but still getting the answer. And the weirdest part is I type and write perfectly normal I believe, without a problem expressing or anything. I'm not anti-social or nervous around people but its like my mouth doesn't want to speak sometimes. Back to my zoning out though, it gets real bad sometimes where I completely lose all track of what is happening and anything kind of like tunnel vision of the mind.

And all the time I act completely different in places or with people. I'm not acting like to blend in with people, I never let people control who I am, but its more like that I'm being myself in another way. Almost as if I have two selves.


I just don't know what the problem is and this pressure is going to get me hurt or someone else sadly. I know Schizophrenia runs in our family and I'm hoping that is not the case. ADHD as well runs in the family. To make matters worse I'm near the age it starts to develop at almost 19 years of age. I'm going to get this checked out so please no go see a doctor, just wondering what your opinions might know what this is. I know its something I just don't know what.


Just to let you know some more information that might help. I'm 18 years old, Schizophrenia and ADHD both run in the family to a degree. I have a tested and proved 153 IQ, and I'm both active in logic and arts equally with passion. I am also deeply into philosophy and seeking answers and never able to keep still with a "it just is" answer which causes me to lose a lot of sleep.

Sorry to sound nuts and all but I really just don't know anymore. Anyway thanks.

Baal,

"Am I crazy, Please Help." is, on its face, a request for medical advice. This is the wrong place to send the request.

I agree, no one here is really qualified to answer your question and it would be a bad move on my behalf to leave this open. You are best off seeking help from your doctor to see if there is a medical issue and then going from there rather than seeking help in a forum. I wish you the best of luck in resolving your issues.