my name is salam qatanani and im new here and im confused CONFUSED



The weirdest thing happened to me last night...it was like a slap on the face.

I was lying down on my bed. and looking towards the open door, the lights were all off except for the bathroom, the bathroom door was right in front of me, and it was almost all closed and all u can see in this dark place is a fine line of light that reflected on the naked floor. the fine line of light was heading right towards me, and it went wider the more it got closer to the carpet on witch my bed is, and it stopped and the carpet and didn’t go on to reach for me, the fine light ended on the carpet because it couldn’t reflect the light like the naked floor, all this was normal , mixed voices of my family in the living room made me not able to concentrate on one thought, so I went further and further with my mixed and complicated thoughts and felt suddenly that I was actually floating in the air above my bed.



But what happened next change something in me... I felt it like a fall from the sky, I felt my actual body and senses hitting the ground so strongly when I looked at that weird seen, I saw the light on the floor and it woke me up from every reality I thought I was living, I struck me like a lightening and made my eyes look again , what an unbelievable view I was able to watch while in only in my bed, the light was making a form of logical stability actions and events that created my life, and it made me think, am I really here? Is that my house now and I’m actually lying on the bed I got couple on months ago? I remember I used to sleep on the matrix on the floor, the floor on the house I rented and played lots of money for. Are those really the voices of my family? Are they living with me here in this city? Is it real that my dad died? And that it’s been almost three years now!! Am I really going to turn 20 in couple of months?? .



honestly I couldn’t find vivid and clear answers the these questions , I couldn’t find a logical explanation that connected me directly and clearly to the events of my life.. I felt like a stranger, a stranger in the life I thought I belonged to. I couldn’t even blink when I was reviewing what happened to me in the past couple of years.....



But how could that be possible...Was I really there when everything happened???

Somehow I remember what happened in a scary-detailed way..!!! but its like I’ve been living in someone else’s reality, its confusing because I also know that its me, and all was about me and around me, but this is the first time I feel like this, for all this time I was living in an extremely shallow layer of my life, I was on the surface, I haven’t plunged into the core of all the feeling of happiness, pain, disappointment, sorrow, smile, innocence or even the wickedness. I was going on a track, like a robot, not bothering to stop for a little and smell the flowers in a garden-and I’m talking here about actually smelling- , not bothering even thinking about how stupid I was when I did something dumb, or how happy I was when I did something smart .



once again I was confused of the mixed up thoughts that I had in my mind, but this time , I wasn’t floating , I was extremely and unbelievably heavy on the bed, I felt that my whole body was going to crush like a toy as I couldn’t handle that much of pressure on my head, I even felt of a strange presence of a lost existence pressing on my body, I almost believed I was possessed, I was almost freaked out of what happened, but then I realized that this presence was my soul I’m finally having my soul long with my body, it was so strong that I felt that my heart was in my mouth, I hated it, I’m not used to be in that deep layer of me, I was drifting down into my own core until I was numb.



After all…. it was great, great amount of feelings all together at the very same time, but still there is a question, was the bed that prevented me from being in a direct contact with the fine line of light that was reflecting on the floor?, was I creating that extremely thick layer of obscurity and isolation that distracted me from being in touch with my actual reality?, was I living and not living at the same time?, finally I guess I have two options , the first one is to get rid of the bed directly and to fall down on my floor so the light can reach me a be a part of me, but ….. I might be too weak to face the strange and sharp light; I might not be able to understand it or even control it since I just found out that my only perception of reality was fake...



The second option is to try to observe that line of light for as long as I can , so I can be able to understand it and have the perfect plans to control it before I actually get red of the bed and touch it, I would spend lots of time in observing it since I have no idea what I’m facing, so after its too late to heal, I am forced to face a reality that I spend my whole life observing and trying to understand with the very wrong weapon since I never knew how does it feel … .







Pretty confusing, ha???

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." - Isaiah 9:2 (NIV)

Hi, Salam.

Interesting report. About 1 in 3 adults (based on surveys in the US and UK, taken over 40 years or so) report having had at least one, for want of a better phrase, "religious experience." That is, an intense, relatively brief feeling of being in a waking altered state of consciousness, with the mind turned away from the mundane concerns of life.

The usual thing reported is a feeling of calm, and a sense of knowing something. Just what is known is typically a bit vague, but for most people, the overall effect is delightful.

So, maybe you are experiencing something related to that, but did not find it so delightful. On the other hand, any intense and unprecedented experience is apt to disturb some folks.

Twenty is supposedly a bit young, but I am unsure that there is much hard information about that. I had one, and I was about 20 at the time.

There was a light involved as a "trigger" for me, too. Nothing preternatural, just the moon over the ocean while I was on the shore. I doubt that the light caused anything (neither in your case nor mine) - maybe it just occupied the mind a bit so that whatever this is could have a chance to express itself, if I may speak that way.

I have never had a recurrence, but that varies among people. Supposedly, Alfred Tennyson, the poet, could summon the feeling at will by using what we would now call a "mantra meditation." I meditate regularly, and while I have had some nice experiences doing so, I have never repeated anything like that one time.

(Not to be crude, but a lot of people find their first experience of sex to have had a quality that was never recaptured, however pleasant their subsequent sex lives may have been. Maybe this is like that; I don't know, I am just considering the possibility.)

People who have had it tend to think about it for the rest of their lives. Nobody has yet found anything else solid that is different about the 1/3 who had the experience compared to the 2/3 who apparently have not.

If nothing else, then, and assuming this is more-or-less what you are talking about, it is fairly normal. Hope that this is some help to you.