Let your imagination provide the details...

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Stud Tires Out

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Boys Cause As Many Pregnancies As Girls

Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan

Hospitals Are Sued By Seven Foot Doctors

Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

Yellow Snow Studied To Test Nutrition

Scientists Note Progress In Herpes Battle; Ear Plugs Recommended

Antique Stripper To Demonstrate Wares At Store

Sadness Is No. 1 Reason Men And Women Cry

Mayor Says D.C. Is Safe Except For Murders

Check With Doctors Before Getting Sick

Neighbors Said Sniper Not Very Neighborly

Court Rules That Being A Jerk Is Not A Crime

Very Good Schadeaux!!

CLASSIC!!!

Thanks for the good laugh Shadeaux!

All are great... but these are my favorites......

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case...

Neighbors Said Sniper Not Very Neighborly
Sadness Is No. 1 Reason Men And Women Cry.... (do ya think?)

Eye Drops off Shelf...

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms.....

GREAT STUFF!!

Took me 20 minutes to stop laughing at this one.

Eye Drops off Shelf

Oh no! I hope it wasn't mine....