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Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums > Other > General Off-Topic Discussion > Jokes & Humour
Nxt2Hvn
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--- I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- But isn't that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

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wunarmdscissor
lol

did u make that up yourself its really good?

grin2.gif
Nxt2Hvn
QUOTE (wunarmdscissor @ Jan 6 2004, 04:10 PM)
lol

did u make that up yourself its really good?

grin2.gif

No... I wish I could take credit for it... it was forwarded to from a friend... I thought it was so funny.. I just had to share! wink2.gif
thefirstman
laugh.gif that was great.I never get forwards like these.I always get the boring ones.
Seraphina
heh...that's one of the funniest things I've ever come across...almost as good as the George Bush song of yore tongue.gif
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