In the late 1990s I spent a LOT of time on USENET enjoying the flame battles that raged across alt.flame, alt.religion.monica, alt.bigfoot and alt.karl-maldens-nose

One of the things I would do would be to periodically post poems about Drew Barrymore (I actually started alt.sex.fetish.drew-barrymore in 1997 it was great until spam found USENET)

Anyways here is one of them:

Garland

the Drew of the earth
the Drew of the sea
lie down among the wind-blown leaves
and whisper things to me

tell me of your garland
made from ivy leaves and rose
let me hear your lispy speech
which softens as it flows

explain to me your views on life
and why it is you chose
to wear a daisy in your hair
and rings upon your toes

when all the other stars around
were clad in gauche designer gowns
you walked the carpet free and wild
a lisping, chubby nature child

These poems would enrage the masses. I'm hoping they will be better received here.