i say this to a cop when they pull over me
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
Full Version: NEVER say when a cop pull you over! funny!
AHAHHAHA RIGHTEOUS DOOD!
what about this one from a movie... "Put it on the tab"
QUOTE(SSJ2VEGETA @ Oct 16 2007, 07:31 PM) 
what about this one from a movie... "Put it on the tab"
lol good one
QUOTE
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
For real... I learned it's REALLY a bad idea to ask a cop if his watch is set to "bar time" (10 minutes fast). Ya, he doubled my ticket... but the judge threw it out of court on a technicality.
QUOTE(Dark an1m3 @ Oct 16 2007, 02:51 PM)
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hahah
QUOTE(Dark an1m3 @ Oct 16 2007, 04:51 AM)
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
that is not against the law here, its perfectly legal
QUOTE(dest_titor1 @ Oct 17 2007, 12:35 PM)
that is not against the law here, its perfectly legal
i know
lol "Wicked" he,he!
QUOTE (Dark an1m3 @ Oct 16 2007, 05:51 AM)
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
definately the best!
Cool, most of em is what you would expect homer to say.. lol
Also don't say:
Oh, it's you. Do you remember me from the last two times?
Oh, it's you. Do you remember me from the last two times?
QUOTE
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
I actually asked a cop this. Though it wasn't from being pulled over, it was a school assembly. He just laughed.
I would not recommend this one.
Officer: Sir your eyes are rather bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Motorist: Well officer your eyes are a little glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
Officer: Sir your eyes are rather bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Motorist: Well officer your eyes are a little glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
Cop: Son, you seems pretty wobbly, have you been drinking?
You: Officer, your eyes looks glassy, have you been eating donuts?
You: Officer, your eyes looks glassy, have you been eating donuts?
QUOTE (Irish @ Dec 24 2007, 04:38 PM)
I would not recommend this one.
Officer: Sir your eyes are rather bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Motorist: Well officer your eyes are a little glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
Officer: Sir your eyes are rather bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Motorist: Well officer your eyes are a little glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
LOL... I actually said something like that to a couple of cops before. I play in a band and we had the Syracuse Police Dept. as security for one of our shows in our V.I.P. room. There was a buffet of finger foods like veggie trays and dips and such. I looked at the cops and said "Allright, what the hell happened to our doughnut tray?"... they didn't find it one bit amusing but everyone else in the room laughed hysterically. I kinda felt like a criminal at that point... LOL.
I'm gonna use the Village people one. I've never been pulled over though... makes me want to go out speeding. But I shan't because cutting off 5 saves lives 
QUOTE (Dark an1m3 @ Oct 16 2007, 04:51 AM)
i say this to a cop when they pull over me
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
lol Sure you do bro... sorry to burst your bubble
reps to ya for trying though anyway lol source
funny
No officer I was not speeding, you obviously must have got some of your pepper spray in your eyes.
QUOTE (Dark an1m3 @ Oct 16 2007, 04:51 AM)
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
awesome!!!
here's another
ok, i've smoked some dope, not like it's a crime or anything?
funny
How about "I smell bacon" or "If I but you a donut will you let me go??" and "Didn't I see you get your ut kicked on cops?"
#14
QUOTE (Dark an1m3 @ Oct 15 2007, 10:51 PM)
i say this to a cop when they pull over me
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
i was fine 1,000,000 to say all of this to a cop.
haha,that was freakin halarious!
QUOTE
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
Seriously, cops should have to get a ticket for that!
LOL, #4 & 10! And of course, 3!
*sniff* I smell bacon! Do you smell bacon??? *sniff* *sniff*
Lol!!! That's really funny! :D
:D
Here is a joke that I read somewhere, not trying to make fun of anybody 
Halt!!!
When a traffic cop pulled over Pastor Johnson for speeding, the minister reminded the officer, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." The cop handed the minister the ticket and quoted, "Go thou and sin no more."
Halt!!!
When a traffic cop pulled over Pastor Johnson for speeding, the minister reminded the officer, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." The cop handed the minister the ticket and quoted, "Go thou and sin no more."
Heres one.
Hurry up & write the damn ticket your wife is expecting me.
Hurry up & write the damn ticket your wife is expecting me.
QUOTE (Dark an1m3 @ Oct 15 2007, 09:51 PM)
9. I pay your salary
QUOTE (PuNkMaN @ Feb 26 2008, 07:32 AM)
cop:can you step out of the car sir
guy:can you step away from me,I'm alergic to pork.
cop: do you know why i pulled you over today?
guy: you ran out of donuts and you can smell the ones in my car?
cop: I pulled you over for driving 38mph in a 25mph.
me:I thought this was 35mph?
cop: no it's 25 and has always been 25.
me:well i drive slower than the other people on this road.and it should be 35.
cop:why were doing 70mph in a 35mph
me: because my garmin told me i saved 5minutes by doing 45 on this road yesterday,so i thought i'd try 70 today.
oh and has anyone seen speeders?
seems like everyone on there uses this one.
cop:why were you doing 80 in a 50?
chick:I have to go peeeeeeee.
lmao
seems like everyone on there uses this one.
cop:why were you doing 80 in a 50?
chick:I have to go peeeeeeee.
lmao
Cop: why is there an empty bottle of vodka beside you?
Me: cos your wife drank it all....
Said this to a cop and he frickin LAUGHED! still gave me the ticket though...
Me: cos your wife drank it all....
Said this to a cop and he frickin LAUGHED! still gave me the ticket though...
QUOTE
14. Bad cop. No donut.
lol
when I was 21 I was sideswiped by a car that ran a red light, the cop taking my statement asked me "How fast were you traveling sir?"
I replied "The speed limit...whatever that is" he just smiled and I thought "D-OH!" apparently he knew I was in shock and the other guy was being charged anyways so he let my dumbass statement slide
I replied "The speed limit...whatever that is" he just smiled and I thought "D-OH!" apparently he knew I was in shock and the other guy was being charged anyways so he let my dumbass statement slide
Loleth! Hilarious... I wish I could use one of these in real life. People who buckle over laughing!
LOL - you people are too funny.
Do you know how fast you were going?
Whaddya asking me for - you got the radar gun!
Do you know how fast you were going?
Whaddya asking me for - you got the radar gun!
lol, It's perfect. I liked number 3 the best.
this is definatly the funniest joke that i've read on here so far...
of course today is only my second day....
nah,it was really funny especially the "is that a 8mm? nothing compared to this 44 mangum"
thx for the laugh
of course today is only my second day....
nah,it was really funny especially the "is that a 8mm? nothing compared to this 44 mangum"
thx for the laugh
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